Tuesday, August 7th 2012

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Greg Rutherford, the British Olympic gold medal-winning long jumper who has dubbed himself The Ginger Wizard (insert Ron Weasley's "...the fuck?" face here).

Buzzfeed called Greg Rutherford the ginger-ized Neil Patrick Harris and I sort of see slight shades of that if I squint my eyes and play the Doogie Howser theme song, but I'm mostly just saying that shit, because I really want to see The Ginger Wizard in a doctor's coat or with his nipples out on Elton John's yacht. The only thing we need to know about Greg is that he won a gold for jumping into a sandbox, he looks like he's doing the "my body is ready" pose when he jumps, he's a ginger, he slightly chars b-holes just by fisting the air, his skin is creamier than a beluga whale's taint, his pectoral titties frown when he frowns (see picture above) and he's a ginger!

Who do I have to sign my internal organs over to ("Ain't nobody want your Dollar Tree internal organs!" - everybody) see The Ginger Wizard and Prince Hot Ginge nose kiss over and over again during the Closing Cermonies? Yes, my sucio, delusional ass wants to see more, but we'll start with the nose kiss.

Posted by: Michael K


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Poopele's picture

Being a champion long jumper is probably a great help in the old english sport of sheep shagging.

Isthatwhatyoumeanttosay's picture

Lucifer Sam thank you for making me google Chris Tomlinson. Oh My! He is gorgeous

He surely is a hotter ginge than PHG but not carrot top, no way.

I think he's a cutie pie.

Gardening Girl's picture

Ha! He has dayglo pink nipples like my husband!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Foxxy Brown's picture

i <3 Ron Weasley "...the fuck?!" faces. he does at least one in every movie

and NPH should pimp slap Buzzfeed

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Twat Muffin's picture

Whamo -- Whams, bad boy, NO!!!

Dr. Dick's picture

He manages to successfully pull off douche and pervy.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Ugly. The other GB long jumper Christopher something is really hot though.

JTROS's picture

Ginger dudes are NOT the hotness. Only women and certain gayelles can pull off the ginger & make it hot.

tinyhands's picture

Sorry, I've always considered Conan O'Brien to be the Ginger Wizard. Come up with a new nickname, limey.

"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005

rovex's picture

'Ginger' is a funny thing, it can go so very very wrong, but every now and then it goes very very right. This is a right..

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 10:56am.

He DOES look like a child toucher!

And I don't care if he has 10 gold medals, he is still fug.

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

No thanks. He looks too Doogie Howser for me...

Yeah, but he won a GOLD MEDAL m'kay?

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 11:11am.
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Sooo you don't want to hear about the 4" stringer that came out of a particularly wet one?

Mhm, I would hit it - I think he looks just fine.

letinstar's picture

ginger and gold are colors that clash when put together...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Twat Muffin's picture

Whamo -- dude, I just ate breakfast and now I feel it coming up after reading your all too graphic description of booger-eating kids -- GAH!!!

Within -- hey, hon!

WithinReason...'s picture

Cute little ginger cupcake! Lol

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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RandéSleepover's picture

As his teammates call him behind his back, the Ginger Wizzer.

Sweetas's picture

Nicknaming yourself is the coolest. :p

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 10:16am.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 10:13am.

Can you imagine what the other competitors looked like if this dude is the gold medalist?

I would like to punch him in the face. Irrationally so.
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LMAO! All the other dudes look like Steve Urkel .."hmm, did I do thaaat"

The guy looks like a creepy child toucher, I half expect to see him milling around a swing set!

He also looks like that booger eating "Kenny or Leonard" kid we all had in grade school. You know, the ones that picked their nose, pulled out a booger, inspected it real slowly and closely to make sure it had a nose hair in it...then ate it while the three buddies you elbowed to watch this nastiness all broke out laughing only to be told to shut up and get back to work from your teacher..ya that that kid! lol!!

Twat Muffin's picture

EC -- no, no other word. I just heard about Marvin Hamlisch -- I'm shocked. Did you know he started going to Julliard when he was 8 years old? What a loss to the music world!

O/T- Composer Marvin Hamlisch has died.

Get Serious's picture

Uh, no, sorry; you don't give yourself a nickname. That's not how that works, brainiac...

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

guest's picture

Why bite the metal? Making sure it's not chocolate? :p

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 10:28am.

Is there any other way to describe him?

Twat Muffin's picture

EC -- OMG, great minds thing alike. That's exactly what I was going to post -- "fug." LOL!

Cowjam's picture

Old birthday boy Mulder has a hotter body than this Olympic gold-medalist.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 10:13am.

Can you imagine what the other competitors looked like if this dude is the gold medalist?

I would like to punch him in the face. Irrationally so.

Nanners's picture

I'll take the thumbnail #4 version because he's creepy as all hell in the main picture.

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/07/2012 - 10:02am.
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Thank you EC!lol,

WTF is going on with his weird pasty chest area?

Nice shoulder there buddy, look it's the human bullet!

loopygorilla's picture

Hell who am I kidding? I'm hit it.

in fact id do it just for the taste for it.

Cute! And lol at "won a gold for jumping into a sandbox."

TexnDoc's picture

He turned years of running away from bullies and leaping through the first open window into gold. KUDOS, Soulless Ginger!

Fug.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

White men CAN jump.... who knew.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers