If you’re trash like me, then I’m assuming that right now you’re wearing a yellow t-shirt that used to be white and stained sweat shorts, and you just finished flossing your teeth with a toe nail that you chewed off with your own mouth. If this is the case, you’re gross and I’m gross. Also, if this is the case, then watching the new trailer for TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will make you feel like a sophisticated, refined and pristine royal dignitary. This trailer even makes the Cyruses look like the Middletons! This mess is The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia meets every episode of Maury meets the Gummi Bears meets the end of civilization.
In the trailer, Honey Boo Boo Chile introduces us to her 12-year-old sister Pumpkin, her 17-year-old knocked up sister Chickadee, her 15-year-old sister Chubbs, her 32-year-old mama and her 40-year-old daddy Sugar Bear. I would let out a bald eagle tear over Mama June being a grandma at 32, but I’m too mesmerized at the fact that her layers of saggy chins are only a few inches away from becoming one with her fupa.
Even with the subtitles, I don’t know what they’re saying. If you’ve been looking for a trick that makes Nell sound articulate, then you’ve found a few of them.