Every driver in Los Angeles should just go ahead and cover their car in rubber bumpers and wear a helmet every time they drive, because if Lindsay Lohan’s stupid ass won’t crash into them, then Amanda Bynes’ stupid ass will. If you’re driving around L.A. and see Amanda Bynes or Lindsay Lohan driving behind you, pull over and pray to all the saints, because you’re in danger, girl. Case in point:
TMZ says that a woman named Kisa became the latest member of the Victims of Amanda Bynes Club yesterday afternoon when Amanda allegedly rear-ended her Toyota Corolla on Venture Blvd. Kisa says that after Amanda’s black BMW punched her Toyota, they both got out of their cars to see how serious the damage was. Kisa says that she didn’t recognize Amanda Bynes at first, because she “looked like a hot mess.” Um, here’s a little tip. If the bitch who just hit you looks like the kind of mess that can make thermometers explode, then it’s either Amanda Bynes or Blohan. Kisa went on to tell TMZ that there was damage to her Toyota’s bumper and a lot of damage to Amanda’s BMW. But Amanda told Kisa that the damage to her Toyota wasn’t that bad and that mess tried to push her bumper back into place.
When Kisa asked Amanda for her insurance information, that bitch got shifty and didn’t cough it up. When Kisa kept trying to get Amanda’s information, she said that they didn’t need to exchange info since the damage wasn’t that bad and then she jumped into her car and drove away. Kisa called the police, filed a hit and run report and here we are now.
In pre-school, there was this tricycle track in the school yard and my teacher gave us these fake tricycle drivers licenses with our pictures on them. Amanda doesn’t even deserve one of those! Bitch shouldn’t have any kind of license. What a dumb bitch and she’s an extra dumb bitch, because she didn’t even try to get the heat off of her by shouting, “I’m Lindsay Lohan, the cops know where to find me!” before running away. But whatever, Amanda doesn’t have shit to worry about. Because I’m sure that right at this very moment, President Obama is down at the police station declaring to the cops that he has officially pardoned Amanda Bynes of all future charges. I mean, Amanda IS his number one priority.