Ryan Lochte Is Not A Hit And Quit It Slut
Mama Lochte joined Debbie Phelps in the spirit animal ranch in my heart the other day when she basically called her son a big whore who should win a gold medal in sluttin'. Ike Lochte told Today that Ryan doesn't have time for a girlfriend and the only thing he really has time for is to make orgasm waves with a one-time trick. UsWeekly decided to make shit extra awkward by asking Ryan Lochte what he has to say about his mom talking about his peen's travels. Ryan says he has never had a one night stand and that his mom is new to this media game and didn't really know what she was saying. Swimming answer's to Chet Haze put it like this:
"They took it out of context. My mom is really new to all of this and the media. She meant since the last 4 years I just wanted to focus on swimming, and I didn't really have time for a relationship. When I'm in a relationship, I want to give that person my entire heart and I wasn't able to ever do that because of swimming. I'm always on the go. So what she meant is that I do go out on dates. But its not that thing that everyone is talking about, because that's not me. I've never done that and never have been like that, so I don't want people to think that about me."
Maybe Mama Lochte is like my mom and sometimes she accidentally mixes up phrases. Like a couple of summers ago, I was going to the store and my mom was trying to tell me to pick up some fruit punch, but she told me to pick up some donkey punch instead. (!!!!) I didn't want to know how, when or where she learned that shit. I just blamed myself, because she probably learned it from listening to me and I made a mental note that if I ever come into a whole lot of money, I need to start a beverage company called Donkey Punch.
And really? "I want to give that my person my entire heart." That's what a slut says when they don't want to sound like a slut! They also say shit like, "I just don't have time for a relationship, but I do have time to hump on a new piece every night."
This ho is lying. I'm sure there are dozens of tricks out there who have listened to Ryan shout at them "I'm going for gold! I'm going to break a new record on your pussy, bitch" one time and one time only.
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Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:40pm.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch :
oddly, i am not at all surprised by this news
#smitehimbeforehebreeds
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Now that he's endorsement deals are in danger, he's back paddling. We know you're a man whore, and no I wouldn’t buy a box of Wheaties with your smug slutty face on it.
That's hilarious. *Drumroll*. It's only a matter of time before his hookups come out into the open ala Tiger Woods.
Anyway, there's nothing wrong with one night stands when you're single.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch :
Lochte just admitted to peeing in the pool.
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Ewww. That is the main reason I don't get in pools! What with if full of kids, it's just an enormous toilet.
I am sorry for what I said about our gold medalist. Ryan should get some PR ppl stat. Shut up Ryan.
Just smile! :-) :-) :-)
'heads into package store to get a grip on the state of Olympian character'
Reposted from previous BD sluts thread.
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With all due respect to my dear dlisted classy ladies, so much lust for the Lochtebag illustrate how women seem to be into the douchy, baddie, narcissist jock-type first. If he doesn't call you back the next day, don't complain! :D
I don't think his mom's comments are hurting his chances of hooking up in the least bit. I can imagine how many girls are lining up and sending him their phone number.
Somebody needs to make a meme about this idiot. He is this year's "Scumbag Steve".
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
Maybe Mama Lochte didn't fully understand what a ONS is. When I was in college, my mother innocently asked me what a dildo was. Something in me died that day.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:18pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:33pm.
He reminds me of the 19 -21 yr old douchebags that would come to the gym to lift weights and watch themselves in the mirror. They reeked of cologne and felt they were too cool to wipe their sweat off the equipment afterwards. I hated them with the force of a thousand suns.
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Hate them too...so Iz takes my time on the leg press machine then float a few air buscuits for good measure! Take that muscle douche!
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He does look like the "You see this? This is my new fucking haircut!" guy.
JAGERBOMBS!
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"SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!"
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:18pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:33pm.
let me guess -- those guys also grunted loudly from the first rep on, tossed the weights on the floor every time, and could not shut up about their "programs"
hi ladies!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:33pm.
He reminds me of the 19 -21 yr old douchebags that would come to the gym to lift weights and watch themselves in the mirror. They reeked of cologne and felt they were too cool to wipe their sweat off the equipment afterwards. I hated them with the force of a thousand suns.
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Hate them too...so Iz takes my time on the leg press machine then float a few air buscuits for good measure! Take that muscle douche!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I'd break my pelvis on that...
Yeah okay....you're a big ole slut, Lochte...own it!
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"SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
Your Mom is way cool in my book!
Great story lol
Submitted by JTROS: "A real man would own his sluttiness."
I agree. Nothing wrong with folks slutting it up if they're single, safe, honest and all parties are consenting.
Hey Easy! Been seeing your posts lately but haven't been around same time as you. Good to see ya dude.
Stupid men's beach volleyball, who want's to see this crap? USA is losing right now, two points from elimination. I'd rather see the girls play, any of 'em.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
LMFAO @ Jacko's mom.
*dies of embarassment*
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:59pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
Hey Jack, at least you never exposed mom to the wonders of Fix a Flat.
She'd probably get that mixed up and ask people "Would you like my son to give you a blow?"
Ha!!!
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god forbid they have engine problems! jack's mom's gonna be reaching for a wrench, and telling them "don't worry, my son will crank for ya!".. HAHA!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
you can hit and quit it with me anytime ryan!!! *wink wink*
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:43pm.
My mom,......
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LMAO...mom's can be so silly sometimes:)
Nice try Ryan, but when a liar starts covering the lie it only becomes more obvious! Loser no matter how many medals. Loser. Yes handsome and dedicated. Not enough. Grow UP!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
Hey Jack, at least you never exposed mom to the wonders of Fix a Flat.
She'd probably get that mixed up and ask people "Would you like my son to give you a blow?"
Ha!!!
***************
Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
Submitted by betseyfan2 on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:53pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:41pm.
Oh yeah, boinkfest 2012
^^^^^
Heard a "stat" on the radio yesterday that on average, 70% of the athletes have/will sex on another athlete at the games. How the hell they know this, I dunno. By counting used condoms??
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I'm sure it's just a lovely little arrangement in every room, a fuck basket, rather than a fruit one.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Dude tweeted himself a birthday message, complete with three hashtagged "Jeah"s. That tells me everything I need to know about him.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Riiiiiight, these athletes get more pussy than your local Humane Society, it's a badge of honour for a chick to get a "one off" from one of these chlorine monkeys you can be sure of that. They'd be lined up the block (cock) for this dopey fucker.
I'm calling serious bullshit on Lochte here. Nobody who poses for a photo like that doesn't fuck-and-chuck every now and again
I would hit it in a Mary Kay Letourneau kind of way, but I would have to be on top!
@ Jack
BEST STORY EVER!
P.S. Love your new avie pic. KENNNNYYYYYYYYYYY!
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You are all infidels and heathens.
Lmao @Jack & anno's moms!!!
Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:41pm.
Oh yeah, boinkfest 2012
^^^^^^
Heard a "stat" on the radio yesterday that on average, 70% of the athletes have/will sex on another athlete at the games. How the hell they know this, I dunno. By counting used condoms??
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
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OMFG!!!
*cries*
Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:41pm.
A former Olympic athlete guest hosted TMZ and said pretty much the same thing. "Your event only lasts two or three days, the rest of the time you're in a village with thousands of people in the top physical shape of their lives and they're giving out free condoms. What're ya gonna do? lols
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
HAHAHA!!... and jacko made ten bucks that day!.. HA!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
ROTFL!!!
Ryan Lochte you are no Tim Tebow so stop playin!!
So after the fashion line fails, dive straight to porn. Can't wait for Ryan Lochte staring in Semen and Swallows!!
MK, all of us in the UK are watching Princes William and Hot ginge being interviewed in the Olympic Studio on BBC One. Hot Ginge is looking scrummy!
Oh Ryan, sweetie, you are beautiful to gaze upon, but dahling, you must be gone when I awake in the morning. I certainly don't want to have to attempt to carry on a conversation with you, poor thing. We all know the F&R is mutually beneficial to us both.
---MK - I laughed and laughed at the Donkey Punch story
*****
luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:43pm.
My mom, STILL to this day, if her battery goes dead in her car she will ask you to "jack her off". I'm like MOM it's gimme a jump!! She was with me one time and this guy had his hood open and she rolled the window down and asked if he was having trouble... he said his battery was dead. Before I could roll the window up (and was also grabbing her arm going MOM, MOM, NO...) she said WOULD YOU LIKE MY SON TO JACK YOU OFF??? hahahahahahahahahahaa fuckin idiot!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
anyway i thought that was the situation when i first saw that main pic, i guess all douches are alike.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:23pm.
HE'S A FUCKING DOUCHTARD SUPREME!!!FUCK THIS FUCKING PREENING DICKHEAD!!!HATE HIM! And yes, I would!!!
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lolollool...that made me laugh. I would too - but he would need a muzzle. It would be a good hatefuck.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:39pm.
im a fan of the cheese platter with copious amounts of wine lol
Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:41pm.
yeh that was in beijing, in london they ordered 200,000 condoms, so that works out to be about 19 fucks a day.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:40pm.
You know, I can't see the hot in this douche bag AT ALL. If you look at his derp face on TMZ, it totally shows just how fucking ugly this brain dead idiot is.
I LOL'd when he came in third last night. He looked soooooooo confused! It was priceless.
Is it wrong to hope he accidentally walks in front of a double decker tour bus?
WHY am I starting to feel sorry for him? He is trying SO FREAKING HARD to be cool and it's just not working. It's like he's the Tonya Harding of swimming. Remember Tonya Harding's mom's interview she did in the fur coat with a bird on her shoulder?
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Submitted by suckandfuck; Tue, 06/26/2012 -
Length looks better for porn but the girth is what your anus will remember the next day.
@ Submitted by CindyBman on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:24pm.
I'm dying cuz my mom used to say "shoot your wad" and we would freaking HOWL! She meant it as wasted effort, not incorrect, but my brother told her to STOP SAYING IT.
God I miss that lady!!!!!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:39pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:21pm.
My Brazilian beach volleyball girls are kicking ass.
I need to watch that, but they're showing boring cycling here!
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oh poor you. I saw some of that earlier. borrrrinngggg.
Has Trojan ever had a famous spokeswhore?
DiamondDogs on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:36pm.
:P
well all the sudden lochte is trying to potray himself as Ryan Taylow Swift Lochte, "ohhh im a poor innocent guy with a hard dick, and girls are soo mean they push me over and mount me and then jump off and use me as a dirt rag...waaaaaaaaaa waaa"
im not buying it. a douche cannot change its spot.
A real man would own his sluttiness. We've all gone through moments in our lives where we were Grade-A horz**. No shame in that game, as long as you're honest about it.
I had no problem with him having one night stands because he's too damn busy being a world-class athlete (and douchebag) to put the effort into a relationship. Now he's back-pedaling for the stupid sponsors. Lame.
**except me, of course...I was as pure as the driven snow until I got married cuz' I'm a good Catholic girl ;)
Anybody remember they had 100,000 condoms for the Olympic Village, and halfway through, they ran the fuck out and had to get an emergency shipment? I think it broke down to 15 a DAY per person. Young, sheltered (while training at least) athletes with no parents or minders over them 24/7 while they're in the OV? Oh yeah, boinkfest 2012
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥