The National Enquirer Tells Macauley Culkin To Get Help

After The National Enquirer said that Macauley Culkin is filling his veins with heroin all day, every day, his rep slapped them down by saying the entire story was made of lies and if he was hooked on heroin, he wouldn't even use their trash paper to keep his heroin in. The National Enquirer isn't backing down, isn't issuing apologies and has really come for Macauley by publicly saying that he needs to get help before he ends up like one of his friends who recently died of an overdose. DAMN. You know that bitch ass little cousin of yours who caught you sipping cognac (don't judge, it was all my mom had in her "bar area" on top of the refrigerator) when you were 16 and told your mom about it? The National Enquirer is like that times ten billion. This is the "get help" open letter to Mac they posted on their website yesterday:

Our advice to Macaulay is to seek professional help to avoid the same tragic fate of other beloved celebrities, including Whitney Houston who died earlier this year.

We believe that the former child star should be doing everything he can to get the treatment he so desperately needs – and which could have saved the life of his friend Elijah Rosello.

Her family confirmed to The ENQUIRER that she did drugs with Macaulay before her drug-related death in March.

Should Macaulay’s representatives continue to deny The ENQUIRER’s accurate and detailed report, we are ready to offer him the opportunity to take a blood test administered by an independent medical lab.

It is a fact that as The ENQUIRER tracked Whitney Houston’s descent into her drug hell, she refused to admit she had a problem – and Whitney was represented by some of those people now denying Macaulay’s potentially deadly problems.

Yes, they brought Whitney Houston into this. My thoughts about this entire mess are best expressed through Kristie the Hutt's face.