Birthday Sluts

HB to Lisa Ann Walter. Girl, you deserve a much bigger career than you've had. Funny, funny lady.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 11:09am.

Ok, like who here HASNT fucked a cutie for their looks and body rather than their personality or lack ther of...we dont want to dork him for his conversation but his 6pack and his bulging junk.

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*raises paw*

Girl, I Did it. Don't regret it. Had a helluva lot of fun and the sex was TO DIE FOR. Athletes...they're just a box of fun. Just know they're not in it for the long haul and you'll be fine.

*salivates in corner*

Can't help it, I'd hit it, so help me God. And I'd enjoy every minute of it. *shameface*

Ryan better start charging for his one night stands or get his ass on Rentboy 'cuz the bank is trying to kick his momma Ike out of her house.

She's in the hole for $250,000.

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/olympics/london/story/2012-08-04/Ryan-Loc...

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:19pm.
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Sal baby, just foolin' on here... you know that, right? I meant to ask you, what does it mean to be salacious? Is it sth to do with salt? ololol *muah* #classylady

ETA: Happy Birthday Rdeadline too!

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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they've already stopped running the Lochte ads - a lot of ad execs will be looking for new jobs on Monday ... no ability to spot a douchebag = no job

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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.

Dude's got some Tragic Mike moves.

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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Lol at the Lochte comments! Have you no shame? Ok, don't answer that!

HB to Evangeline Lilly, her sexy body is so...

Passionate double buttcheek birthday fondles to Reezy!
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 12:01pm.

Terry, same reason I fucked A LOT of hot dumb jocks...THE VISUAL WAS AMAZING AND THE WORK OUT WAS TO DIE FOR!!! Now just TRY and even remember their names - I dare you!

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I remember names.....but I'm afraid to gooogle because I know as dumb as he was, he's got to be asking ppl if they want fries with their order. and i need to remember him the way he was.

Have you SEEN how Alabama football player look? Good Lord almighty they live in the gym when not hooking up.

happy birthday paquita & rdeadline!

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:19pm.
With all due respect to my dear dlisted classy ladies, so much lust for the Lochtebag illustrate how women seem to be into the douchy, baddie, narcissist jock type of guy first. If he doesn't call you back after hooking up, don't complain! :D
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I agree. However, at the same time they (not all of course) will vilify men who want to fuck women like Megan Fox, Courtney Stodden or Pamela Anderson.

kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it before it multiplies!! sorry the condom broke, Mr. Lochte, Sr.

HB to Pacquita(!), the national treasure that is Tony Bennett (Team THC!), Spinderella (aka "the normal one in that group" lol), and a special HB to DENNIS THE MENACE!!!!

and you all better wish Martha a happy birthday or she'll shank you.

great parenting there, Sheen. ll three of those sons have been through hell, but seems only two have made it out. think about it on your birthday asshole

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

sal - note that I never stated I would.

And I wouldn't. Seems he'd be a selfish lay anyway. A race to the finish, leaving the lady unfinished.

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:19pm.

Which is why dickmatizing a bitch is such a crime :D

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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

With all due respect to my dear dlisted classy ladies, so much lust for the Lochtebag illustrate how women seem to be into the douchy, baddie, narcissist jock type of guy first. If he doesn't call you back after hooking up, don't complain! :D

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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.

Ryan Lochte!! I would spank him with a feather whip & make him call me,"Mommy!"

Ryan L is a gorgeous homosexual!

Are there nude photos?

Snowpiece, what girl hasnt had this conversation in her head?!?

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

GG look at mine!

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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

"I would hit it like a Jeopardy buzzer. Over and over again. I'll take Walk of Shame for 1,000, Alex."

THIS, should totally be someone's siggie!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

In this gif Lochte is giving me the Channing Tatum vibe.

I love this comment, by the author of the Jezebel article:

"I would hit it like a Jeopardy buzzer. Over and over again. I'll take Walk of Shame for 1,000, Alex."

Me too, Erin, me too.

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"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 10:18am.
Every interview I've heard with Ryan Lochte is a train wreck. Does this idiot have 3 brain cells left in his head? Way to represent UF.

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Awwww. Poor Ryan. LOL.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 12:35pm.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 12:20pm.

Thank you!

South Texas is freaking hot. I am sweating the alcohol from last night. Still, I can't read the posts. I feel dazed.

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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!

Paquita, you hot slut, happy birthday! I hope south Texas is treating you well!

I cant believe James Hetfield isn't on this list.....:o(

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

happy day, Paquita!!

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Its mah bday!!!
Paquita (29)

I will sex that Lotche stupid (which he already is)

Happy bday to me. I am still drunk from last night. WIN!

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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!

Submitted by girlfromipanema on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 11:45am.
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Exactly!!! I thought I was the only one

Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 8:36am.
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I know right? Like what's the use giving medals out for all these strokes? Do they have practical uses? What stroke should I use to avoid a shark attack? I mean really.

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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."

Terry, same reason I fucked A LOT of hot dumb jocks...THE VISUAL WAS AMAZING AND THE WORK OUT WAS TO DIE FOR!!! Now just TRY and even remember their names - I dare you!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Oh my god, between the flashing Lulu's ad, the bug bite thing, Courtney Stodden and now the Lochte gif, I'm having a seizure today.

Time to start drinking.

Why do I lust for this dumb jock? Oh, yeah...its because in college I fucked a dumb as a box of rocks football player and looking at Ryan reminds me of that body...Oh that body....

Oh my..it's rather warm in here.....

Damn, this looks like a birthday list for the Handsome Guys Club.

Out of all of them I wanna say a special HB to Isiah Washington due to his brilliant career.

Smart move, dude, losing a part on a now long running tv drama after calling one of your co stars a faggot.

How you like that dick in your ass Hollywood producers been fucking you with ever since?

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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."

I think *somebody* got their Special Olympics entry card mixed in with the real Olympics by mistake.

Is it wrong to want to screw the bejesus out of a mentally handicapped stud? If it is .. then I don't wanna be right. :(

I'm getting serious Channing Tatum vibes from Lochte in this GIF.

HB sluts, especially Spinderella!

ha ha Janey, someone just sent me that, I chose this as my new siggy
"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by Rdeadline on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 10:49am.

Happy Birthday!!

And Ryan looks like Magic Mike trying to get a loan in that gif. Hahaha.

@MJT

Thanks for that! I was laughing so hard that my assistant asked if I was choking... :)

MissJane - thank you for the link... hilarious!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Ok, like who here HASNT fucked a cutie for their looks and body rather than their personality or lack ther of...we dont want to dork him for his conversation but his 6pack and his bulging junk.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

I hate myself for thinking Lochte is hot because I know he's a dumb, narcissistic, douche. Gah! It's like I'm a freshman in college again -- thinking the jocks are hot even though I know (a) my IQ is about 50 points higher than theirs, and (b) they probably wouldn't be that great in bed.

/hangs my head in shame

http://jezebel.com/5931055/10-reasons-ryan-lochte-is-americas-sexiest-do...

BWAHAHAHA.

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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012

Submitted by KG on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 10:12am.
I really want to slap Ryan Lochte upside the head with a sock full of D batteries. After, of course. ;-)
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I too, would. He's definitely beautiful. But if given the choice between him and Phelps, I'd choose Phelps. Good looks and sex appeal don't always go hand-in-hand, and sex appeal counts for so much more.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

Impyvixen, puhleeze add Beach Volleyball to your list of summer camp activities elevated to Olympic status.

'goes off to add childhood sports in the olympics to 'stop pissing on my head and telling me it's raining' list.

Olympic rant caution

Too much joohree on everyone. Too many sparkles. This is not serious. What true athlete wears jewelry? Stupid and trashy. I am over this grand spectacle. It does absolutely nothing to help children as advertised.

Childhood obesity rates have more than tripled in the past 30 years contributing $150 billion a year to cost of U.S. health care.

Olympics are big business. Not about health. The behavior is not inspiring. Every night I turn it off disappointed .

Rant over please resume regularly scheduled penis envy. Ha ha. :p

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 10:46am.

Little Gabby bounced her way into my heart yesterday.
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Amen.

HB to Lochte and the rest anyway. I'm so glad homeboy gave up that ridiculous grill.

Submitted by Rdeadline on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 10:49am.

Happy Birthday - Hope it's a sexy one!

LOL I bet that Ryan dude is a total A hole since he was born today. It's my birthday too,yipie!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 10:46am.

HB Martha Stewart!!! I cant wait til your Halloween issue!

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I buy her Halloween issues too! They are awesome!

Ok now I know he's an Olympian and a hot body but he's STILL a DOUCHTARD!!!

Cant stand him.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012