Who Needs A Fanny Pack When You've Got Titty Pockets?
Jessica Biel has said in interviews that before she leaves the house, Justin Timberlake swishes into the room, puts his hand under his chin, sticks his pinky finger out and gives her the Suri look over to make sure she's keeping it cute. Well, the next time Justin tries to style her ass, she needs to tell him to suck on a dirty butt plug, because he's doing her wrong. Jessica wore this mess to the Total Recall premiere in L.A. last night and I'm guessing she wanted her to look to match the reviews. The whole thing is a rotten mess. This is what it would look like if someone barfed up Pepto-Bismol into a costume jooree box full of twisted pearl and rhinestone necklaces.
1. The face is just one color. Isn't there a Rite-Aid on Hollywood Blvd. where Jessica could've bought some hot pink Wet 'n Wild lip gloss or something?
2. The necklace is scraping three layers off of of my OCD nerve, because I just want to spend the rest of the day untangling it.
3. THAT DRESS. Does bitch need that many pockets? Bitch is just going to a premiere, she's not running away from home. The only good parts on that dress are the tititty pockets. I love a good titty pocket. It's the best place for you to stuff a Capri Sun pouch in, so you can sip up fruity deliciousness while keeping your hands free.
Jessica could've made herself look hotter, though, by standing next to Kate Beckinsale. Who ever told Kate that it's okay to skin an alien lizard from V in the name of fashion IS wrong.
Here's more pictures from last night's premiere, which brought out Jessica, Kate, Kate's husband Len (who directed that mess), Colin Farrell and Colin's sister.
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:48pm.
Salty, maybe you can answer me this...For a time he was EVERYWHERE then disappeared. What happened?
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He became a break-out star in his late 20's and his appeal was the drinking Irish bad-boy then became an alcoholic and pain killer addict and started getting less and less work. He went to rehab back in 2005 and since then has been trying to get back to the level he was at in like 1999-2003. I'm sure he's had he ups and downs since then but by all accounts since his kid was born a few years ago he has been very focused on work and his son.
GG - his son has Angelman Syndrome.
Thank you, ME!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:48pm.
Salty, maybe you can answer me this...For a time he was EVERYWHERE then disappeared. What happened?
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He had a kid, the kid has some sort of disabilities (not googling right now) he got clean and sober and knocked up another chick.
@ Jacko - I love me some Kenny Fucking Powers!
Sorry, but I like her looks. She's a natural beauty: athletic, and healthy. I think people are intimadated because she's not anorexic and she doesn't wear a lot of makeup. I love her cheekbones. You can really see the Native American in her, and that's beautiful!
Gah! WTF are those dresses? I'm kind of thinking that if you're gonna be rockin the titty pocket look you might save that for those in the itty bitty titty committee instead? Idk, just a thought.
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:50pm.
HATED IT!
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heeheehee!... i just had a flashback
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZHwxIL9oYo
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I wouldn't know this woman from a waitress. How could one even compare this plain Jane to a Gisele B.
Is this dress a Kunty? Remember the Chanel show had every model with her hands in her pockets on the catwalk, or aisle as it was held in a 747 jet or something.
Ha! Blohans crotch fumes made the demin in her shorts disintegrate!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I gotta come clean... there is one image in my life that consistently makes me happy no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image, is your big tits.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
HATED IT!
yes, ur right, I think the pee stain means it has a peen
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I like in seam pockets, but not folded over like this. It makes it look like you are wearing a housecoat or an apron. This dress is just so wrong. "Hmm...which dress will make me look completely washed out, take 5 inches off my height and as wide as possible? PERFECT!"
ETA: I HOPE that's a piss stain on Lilo's "friend".
Salty, maybe you can answer me this...For a time he was EVERYWHERE then disappeared. What happened?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
LiLo's friend has miniature schnauzer hair . God , the piss-stain .
hekki, yes, pockets are where it's at. I need somewhere to put my phone
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Among other things, the length of that dress makes her look like a stump - and she isn't short.
M.E. LOl are you sure it's a guy!?!?!?? I'm still not sure!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Athina on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:27pm.
For the life of me, I can't understand why Colin Farrell is still around. He's a terrible actor with a horibly boring, contrived "bad boy" image. He must either have a hell of a good agent, or some really good DS skills.
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He gave up that bad-boy act YEARS ago and has been working really hard to stage a comeback for well over 5 years now. He did great work in Crazy Heart, In Bruges, The New World, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (hate if you want, but he was more compelling than Depp or Ledger in that) and then he's done some fun stuff like Fright Night and Horrible Bosses
It's 2012 and people are still putting her in movies? I'll bet she fought tooth and nail to get her hooks back into Justin Timberdouche in order to use his waning fame to pull strings on her behalf. They need to stop trying to make her happen. Sorry, but "7th Heaven" is the pinnacle of your so called career, sister. Might as well go out to pasture with Mischa Barton.
I do not get Biel's appeal at all. She looks like she were not an "actress" she'd be a high school gym teacher.
OMG! The pee pee stain on Blohan's paying customer. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! Did she just get done blowing him in the car and he's still leaking?
UGGGHHHH!! GROSS!
I don't think that shade of pink flatters anyone over the age of ten. The pocket things on the dress don't bother me as much as the slit in the front. It's like a hospital gown worn backwards.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Jessica needs a stylist.. A new one. The fit also gives her camel toe panel. The dress was beautiful on the runway. Who ever was asking.. En Bruge is brilliant. Great cast in addition to Colin.
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
I hate anything that adds bulk to an item of clothing. Do women even put things in pockets? Why, when you spend so much on handbags?
Its Dior (Raf Simons) first Couture collection. Love the dress but dislike the jewelry and hair/makeup.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:33pm.
OFF TOPIC: scroll down and look at Lilo's "friend" WTF!?!?!? LOLZ
OMG! Look at the stain on his pants! I don't know whether to LMAO or shudder in horror.
Why did they remake this??? The original was fine and the people who saw it when it came out are barely 40!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Beckinsale is another untalented, overrated bitch who only gets work because she is fucking the director. Love her "derp" face in one of those pictures.
In interviews, you can tell she really thinks highly of herself, which if her opinion is based on her talent, she shouldn't.
Jessica Biel looks like a low budget Sophia Vegara impersonator in these pics. It must suck for her to have to stand next to Kate for an entire press tour who is not only better looking, but also always looks put together and polished something Jessica always fails at.
And if there is anyway we can will a Len/Kate/Colin sex tape into existence I think we should...damn those are some good looking people.
Uvy: LOL @ he/she/it
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Colin Farrell IS THE MOST GORGEOUS MAN ON THE PLANET AND I WILL CUT A BITCH WHO SEZ UTHA WIZE!
That dress is all kinds of wrong. As is her face.
I sorta like the dress, but it looks like she has one of those cage/bustle thingys under it which makes her hips look wiiiiide...or the fabric is too stiff for that cut, it just hangs all wrong from the waist down.
and I agree MK my OCD cannot look at that necklace! It get hard to breathe!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
is that true?... has she said that in interviews?... Timberlake checks her outfits?
now, not for nothing, but... well... i find myself to be a relatively normal,(shut up! nobody asked you!) average, everyday, kinda dude, and i have never even thought of checking any chick's fashion style before... something sounds very "Tom Cruise" about that.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
im glad jessica woke up to herself and stop trying to be the next meryl streep. at one stage she was sounding like the female james franco.
and i was like..bitch you were in 7th heaven!
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:33pm.
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Why is he/she/it dressed like an oversized toddler on picture day?
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I don't understand pockets in a formal gown to begin with. WTF?
Snowphat - Blohan's friend looks like her type of John.
snowy, CIJ: I love pockets, too. When JHud wore that dress with the pockets and the little bolero jacket, everyone ragged on it, but I loved that dress.
http://www.openentrance.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/jennifer-hudson-o...
I think she looks ok here, but the lady loves the cat as much as the peen , I would put money on it.
Biel is doing quite the morph into Sandra Bullock.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
OFF TOPIC: scroll down and look at Lilo's "friend" WTF!?!?!? LOLZ
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2182439/Lindsay-Lohan-stepp...
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Jessica Biel usually doesn't bother me but I cannot with that hairdo and dress color. Both look terrible on her.
Colin Farrell...yeah, I'd hit it. Despite Phone Booth, one of the greatest travesties in the history of cinema.
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"SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!"
In that first thumbnail she looks like a cross-dressing linebacker.
The necklace is so ugly. It looks like those "add a bead" twist 'em together necklaces from the early 80s. They were ugly then.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:27pm.
I can't hate, i love anything with pockets!
("you can put your weed in there")
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I love clothes that have pockets, especially little hidden ones. I also like "poison" rings and lockets.
why no pictures of the Beil's ass? that's her best feature!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Athina on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:27pm.
For the life of me, I can't understand why Colin Farrell is still around. He's a terrible actor with a horibly boring, contrived "bad boy" image. He must either have a hell of a good agent, or some really good DS skills.
Have you seen In Bruges? I think it was someone here on Dlisted who recommended it. It is a fantastic film. Colin is in it. But that's not why it is fantastic. If anything he was the weak link in the movie. He was so goddamn annoying in Minority Report too. So all he ever does is ruin great movies. He definitely sucked Pacino's dick.
KB's husbans is nice looking, her dress looks like she is competing in the Miss Amphibean Pagent
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky