Open Post: Hosted By GOOPY's Boss Nuit Commercial
You're not the only one who read that as Boss Nut. Boss Nut sounds like something John Travola would be the face of. Anyway, every now and again we're reminded that GOOPY Paltrow is just like us and sometimes she has to do things to keep a $5,000 bottle of vintage Italian wine and a crystal bowl full of caviar-stuffed truffles on her custom made table that costs more than all of your student loans combined. Case in point: Here's GOOPY peddling to the poors in a new commercial for Boss Nuit.
She really is the greatest actress of our time, because notice how she doesn't immediately scream at her assistant to hose her off with the distilled amniotic fluid of a beluga whale after she sprayed herself with that low-budget stank water. And I heard that throughout the entire shoot, she somehow kept herself from breaking down and crying over the fact that she's actually starring in a commercial for a perfume that's sold at Macy's! She is so brave. If GOOPY can do this, we can do anything!
But I am side-eyeing Hugo Boss. I mean, "pour femme." Kick a GOOP while she's down, why don't you? Couldn't they have changed it from "pour femme" to "riche femme"? Cold bitches.
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Yayayayayayay!
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It's already tax time again!? Guess I gotta get my trusted tax adviser, Stephen King, on the phone STAT.
Lucy♥, *changes into something more comfortable...* would you like your strawberries WITH or WITHOUT creme?
I know, it can be a drag to finish something in the dead of summer... that's why I avoid thinking about it, until I absolutely have to!
OffT: Anybody hear about those hoaxes going around about Gotye, AHA HA HA HAH first he's dead, then he's not, now he's getting a sex change, but he won't discuss it, he loves the attention, of course he's not. WTF, is up with this guy? :D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 7:02pm.
I am and I'm not. We have a project (potentially major) and are not receiving any direction. The uncertainty is killing me. Not sure if I'll have to put in time this weekend to keep afloat.
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:16pm.
We have them here, and it is one of my biggest fears. I've been bitten twice by a different spider, and it has left scars. So that really freaks me out. :(
Oh my God, that is horrible. I'd be living in constant fear! AND I like spiders!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:59pm.
You personify willpower, and I admire you for that. ;-)
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Same here bebeh bebeh! Got done a bit early today as I had to go to the DREADED dentist, so now I'm done and and enjoying the foolery on here. *wine in hand, clink-clink*
Glad it almost Thursday! You too? lmao
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:44pm.
ITA Lucy♥, I can't with grossness. People sure got a stronger stomach than me cuz I just can't handle the truf! hahaha
I just typed and deleted a long post proving how squeamish I am, because I realised it made me look like a freak.
How are you today anyway? ♥
I'm sick, I can't get any work done, and there's nobody here to hand-feed me strawberries.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:19pm.
SDR, I'm heading to your part of Texas. It's a warm 110 degrees right now.
I'm going to Texas too!!
Which part?
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
Nada, hot as BALLZ here in TX. Other than that, just being lazy.
Submitted by beb on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:57pm.
Haha! I have yet to see the Blue Waffle thing and never plan on it.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:52pm.
I just went back to see what y'all were talking about. After Googling and subsequently vomiting in my mouth, I now know there is a reason that I like the peen.
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Hi UBF! What's new?
Evening, horz. How is everyone?
The last time I googled something gross that a dlister talked about, I about passed out from the sheer horror of what I saw. It was before I even registered to comment, and I still cannot get the image out of my brain! *shudders*
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:42pm.
*wipes tear*
Now I feel guilty for bitching about my mom! She was very ill a few years ago, and now you just reminded me WHY I talk to her 3 times a day.
Sorry for your loss, and thanks for sharing your story, because now I know I should just STFU and be glad I still have a mom to yell at me!
Hanging in there WR. Happy that work is ovah for the day and that I can have a nice glass of wine. You?
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Hi bebeh, Hi bebeh, Hi bebeh!
How you doin', sweets? <333
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:11pm.
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ITA Lucy♥, I can't with grossness. People sure got a stronger stomach than me cuz I just can't handle the truf! hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:17pm.
I absolutley HATE talking on the phone. She can take a simple one question telephone call and turn it into a half hour of fuckery
M.E. Please don't get pissed. I really don't want you to think I'm preaching. What I'm going to say is something really important that I have lived through.
My Dad, who died 4 years ago this coming week would call me EVERY night and yak and yak for
sometimes an hour. I'd make faces, I'd huff and puff and I'd bitch up a storm after I hung up.
Not every nite, just the ones where I was just tired and didn't want to talk or listen. Sometimes because I was even just wanting to watch TV. Anyhow, I cannot even express to you the longing and desire I have to hear his voice again--just one more time. and I wish I was so much more patient than I was.
He lived alone, I was his only child. He just wanted to be apart of my life and he was so lonely. I now get it. I hope for you M.E. when you get mad or irratated at her just rambling on and on (sort of like this) that you will remember what I say. When they are gone, trust me, you will long for that voice.
((LaChaylo)), that means you are going from extremely f'n hot to CERTIFIABLY mother f'n HOTTER?! Good luck! Well be thinking of you, please don't melt! olol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hi all! What's going on?
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:17pm.
Hahaha! Loud talker! I know what you mean about the LOOOOOONG conversations. I do not mind them when they are fun and when I have the time, BUT like last night. I was home after dealing with the rental fuckery. I was hot, itchy (from taking out bags of SMELLY awful, filthy trash) and tired. All I wanted was a cool, relaxing shower. My mom calls and wants ALL the details of the rental drama. I did the Cliff's Notes and then kept saying "Well, I need a shower and some dinner" An hour later, I finally got a tiny bit snappy and just said I was getting off the phone to shower and eat. She was all hurt, and I guess that is why she is being hateful today.
@SDR- My mom and I are like sisters (not like Dina and Lohan). We are very close, which is why she gets so mad at me sometimes. Like I have NOT told her about FedEx, because she would be very judgemental about his "job", and I do not want to hear it. LOL@ that quote. I just don't want kids, period! You poor thing. My mom can be "nutty" sometimes, but she isn't a nut. I feel for ya!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:25pm.
too old to remember if it was me or not, but what I really love about them is how easy they were for such a good result.
This weekend we are going to try the No-Knead bread recipe the Times has, it looks easy too.
I bake fancy ass cakes for a living, and I really want my bread goods to just be easy for a change.
http://video.nytimes.com/video/2006/11/07/dining/1194817104184/no-knead-...
under the video is the link for the recipe.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Whamo, I you LUUURVE Goopy. If she's not flogging outrageously expensive stuff (in a recession), I actually like her. Plus, in Sliding Doors, she was pretty gotdam good. Now about this lust bone? *wonders what it looks like, and if I have one?* hehehe
@mefunigirl, IKR? I was like Wham you ditz, but of course, it's said with utter love! lmao
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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SDR, I'm there! I'll take some Maker's and treats for your four-legged family members!! *shuts door quick*
I haven't been down that way in awhile, so I need to just go and have some Gulf Coast sea food. Yummm. The heat is awful and oppressive here, like a lot of places! August in Texas should be called hell month.
mefunigirl: We're using Alton's recipe here, on some Dlister's rec. Was it you?
I'm not eating wheat, but I had a tiny bite and they ARE good!
Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:05pm.
I have read several by Koontz, but not any of the Odd ones - they didn't sound that good. Some of his are really good though !
Come on down LaChaylo!
*throws sawdust on barn floor*
*get 30 pack of Beast*
Yeeehaw!
Yeah, ok, not really. More like crank that fucking a/c down and close the blinds. Hurry and shut the door. Your not trying to a/c the WHOLE WORLD now are you?!?!
Whatcha doing down here? Anything fun?
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:07pm.
Aaah! Definitely not Googling it, but it doesn't actually sound that bad.
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LS Trust, it is flat out fucking NASTY!!!! Especially that close up shot!
SDR, I'm heading to your part of Texas. It's a warm 110 degrees right now.
As for POOP, which is probably what her eau de crap smells like, shouldn't a fragrance sold at Macy's affect her snob cred?
haha Within! I went back to see who this jake she was talking about was.
but I'm often confused in these threads.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Evil - I think all mothers can be that way.
I absolutley HATE talking on the phone. She can take a simple one question telephone call and turn it into a half hour of fuckery, because when she starts blah blah blahing I start ignoring with timely placed Uh huh, yeah. Uh huh. Ok. Really? She's also really LOUD, I have to turn the volume on my phone down to almost zero.
Lucifer...I sometimes feel like I could look at anything, but even the brown recluse bite pics get to me too. We have them here, and it is one of my biggest fears. I've been bitten twice by a different spider, and it has left scars. So that really freaks me out. :(
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Ugh Cuppy, I feel for you. I heard a great line once. "People with mothers like mine don't have kids."
In my case it is totally true. Sometimes I envy those with close parents. I have one left and she is a nut.
:-/
Ok, I think I'm gonna go collect another 4 legged child now.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:03pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 5:45pm.
I'd just leave the wart there try to grow 20 more and tell her I was wearing a french tickler
This is the grosses thing I think I've heard in awhil
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Lol, I was hoping someone would get that one Pushy:)
LOL @ Whamo calling Jack Jake! OK, Whim!
Out of everything yesterday, I got one thing, when Jack said he cared but didn't want her to know. That told me everything I needed. :) *big smile* #like
heheheh sorry Jake, I totes understand!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 5:46pm.
My MIL doesn't play those stupid mind games. She tells me straight, which I like and she doesn't hold shit back.
Brutal honesty, the way I like it. It may sting for a second, but it's not all sugar coated with fakery
I don't blame you. It's the fake sugary ones you have to watch, anyway. At least with the other ones you will always know where you stand. I'm glad I don't have to deal with one anymore.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:07pm.
Aaah! Definitely not Googling it, but it doesn't actually sound that bad. I thought it'd be one of those fucked up things like a brown recluse bite, where there are holes in the skin with eggs and shit inside. Urgh.
ubmitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:01pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 5:17pm.
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Lol ya I know she can come off a little pompous at times but I'm loyal to a fault once I like a woman so she'd have to do an awefull lot for me not to like her. I have always thought she was pretty. I have seen pictures of her wearing less than flattering things for sure but when she does it up right she melts my lust bone, what can I say??? Lol!
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 5:32pm.
OMG LMAO!!! Lord, give her mighty BJ powers.
Thanks again for the birthday wishes, everyone!
LMAO at M.E.! I forgot about you and clowns. So there might be some issues inserting Mr. Duckbill??
dlaugher - it's not a myth! It's a vagina infection!
And yes, the Rausings, sad story, but fuck me they had everything, EVERYTHING at their disposal and still fucked it up - drugs don't discrimiate
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Certified Slore
@EvilShoe- To make matters worse, my mom became friends with my boss! When my mom comes in to town, tey hang out, and they email and chat on the phone all the time! Don't ask me HOW that got started.
@SDR- My mother cannot enjoy life. Especially lately. She is fun to be with BUT watch the fuck out when she gets in a mood. WHOA! I had a good time with her and my dad on my vacation when I saw them, but man, she was on my dad like a mad woman. Grant you, my dad deserved it SOME of the time, but not the whole damn trip!
@M.E- My mom isn't bitchy all the time. About once every 6 months she flips out on me and makes me furious, then we get over it pretty quickly. Today she didn't rage at me, but was just snippy enough to annoy me. I guess I have to give her some slack, because she has a very close friend who has only a matter of days to live, and this woman's husband has gone nuts and is raging at my parents, thinking they are in a conspiracy against him with her kids from her first marriage. My mom hasn't seen these 40-50 yr old kids since she was in London 5 yrs ago, and only exchanges Xmas cards with them. DRAMA!
Dlaugher...I read about them too! Some ppl are bizarre!
www.poopreport.com :)
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You know what Jack in the Hat? Underneath all the snark and manly gruffness you are a bit of a snuffleupagus aintcha?
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Certified Slore
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:04pm.
Submitted by dlaugher on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:01pm.
They were/are actually billionaires (his side of the family) and living in Grosvenor Square of all places. Sorry but no sympathy from me. I hope he goes to prison for a long time.
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Oh, i'm not so much sympathetic as utterly disgusted!
To all the blue waffle folk, when i googled it, a website called "the blue waffles myth" came up. a woman is on a mission to debunk this urban myth.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Lucifer...if you are easily grossed out then don't look at those images!!
From what I could gather in the two minutes of hell on my eyes, blue waffle is an std that happens when ones vagina is overly dirty. Waffle is a slang term for vag, and it turns blue from bruising. Ugh.
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 6:02pm.
M.E. - That weather sounds awesome! Ugh, I envy you.
I found out going to the box doc on Halloween is fun. My doc was in costume last year. I got a pap smear from a clown.
<-----------------This would be terrifying.
Brown Eyed Girl - you won't be disappointed!
I just read a Dean Koontz (hur hur, sounds like cunts) call Odd Hours - wasn't that impressed, anyone else?
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Certified Slore
Louise, forget the MIL today, it's your birthday! On a different day, people like that need no encouragement, just ask a question, and in pour the complaints, ahaha :)
@agirl, you don't need ANY prayers for that. Believe in yourself, world-shattering bjs are completely in your power to give! Hope you get some back too! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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