John Travolta Has A New Best Friend

August 1, 2012 / Posted by:

A little over a week ago, JLo’s leased piece Casper the Friendly Gold Digger was caught by a pap’s lens sashaying into a peep show on 8th Avenue in Manhattan. Many of us figured that either Casper was there to live out his dancer dreams of recreating Madonna’s Open Your Heart” video for strange men or it was just a staged STUNT QUEEN stunt to stroke away the gay rumors. But Star and InTouchWeekly say neither of those are the reason why Casper found a way to slip out of the toddler leash that his sugar master JLo is always holding on to. Star says Casper was just doing a little gay glory hole trolling and InTouch says he was just getting the John Travolta special from a WOMAN! That tingle you feel dancing around your ear holes is the glory hole gays cackling at that last part.

Let’s get InTouch’s story out of the way first. Bibi, a worker at an appointment-only exotic massage parlor in the building Casper went into that day, says that JLo’s paid toy was there to get his body worked on and he was only there for around 10 minutes. Bibi didn’t say if she’s the one who put her fingers on JLo’s ho, but she did say that he’s “a nice man. He has strong muscles.Don, who works below the parlor at the gay peen show (on purpose typo), co-signed Bibi’s claim and says that he’s seen Casper going in to get a massage at least twice this month. JLo’s spokeswhore denies all of this and says that he was just there to get a tattoo on his finger. More like he was just there to get a finger in his toot, which leads me to Star’s story…

One of the gay peep show regular’s told Star that he has definitely seen Casper use his allowance money to get into the peep show and he was probably there for more than just a level 1 Fred Willard:

“Yeah, I’ve seen him. He was in here about three weeks ago. This is a gay cruising spot. You go into the booths, then you get all kind of tapping on the wall and propositions. It’s like zombies.”

JLo’s spokeswhore jumped in and said Casper does not make out with peens and the hos spreading the gay rumors are just jealous.

First of all, will somebody please print out the exact location of that peep show and give it to Fred Willard, so he has a quiet place in NYC to furiously hand hug his pepaw chorizo without worrying about the damn police screwing with his fap time. Second of all, whatever the truth may be, John Travolta is still going to slip a note in Casper’s mailbox at the Scientology Center inviting him to the men’s sauna meet (John’s Scientolohole) and greet (it with his peen).

Here’s a few pictures of JLo and her piece on her birthday. It was nice of that selfish heffa to give Casper a quick massage right there in front of the paps, but I’m sure he’s thinking to himself, “Um…can you go a little lower and also, somewhere between my shoulders and b-hole, can you magically transform your lady hands into man hands?

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