Horny People Of Walmart
You know those people at the grocery store who eat the grapes in the fruit section, because they say they need to sample the goods before buying? (Don't shake your head no. I know you have a relative who does that. We all have a relative who does that.) Well, that's basically what 35-year-old Tina Gianakon and 22-year-old Julian Call were doing at a Walmart in Kansas on Sunday night. Except they weren't sampling grapes, they were sampling KY instead.
The Smoking Gun says that Tina and Julian were just doing what most couples do on a Sunday night in Kansas: they were strolling the aisles of Walmart looking for some sex syrup to sample. After they settled on a tube of KY, they squirted a little of that sticky fun in their hands and started making a cleanup on aisle 12. You'd think that the least offensive thing in a Walmart is the sight of two horny hos openly fondling each other, but I guess it must've been a slow night for foolery. Because somebody called the police. Fred Willard feels their orgasm-blocking pain. The cops showed up, double gloved up, picked stray pube hairs off of Tina's hand and then put the both of them in handcuffs. Tina and Julian were charged with lewd and lascivious behavior (that's legal talk for "hand boning each other in the middle of a Walmart") and theft for stealing that KY tube.
This is an injustice! If you can't jack your piece off with stolen lube in the middle of a Walmart, where can you jack them off? It's Walmart's fault for being filled with so much sexy (see: POW). Being in a Walmart just makes your hand want to do the back and forth slip 'n slide on a peen. I mean, why do you think the Walmart smiley face is always smiling? Uh huh. It's fapping right there in the middle of the aisle all day, every day. Rollback....and forth.
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These hicks are gross! Couldn't they just go to a theater like normal people!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
My mom would sample the grapes at the supermarket all the time. I have a gf who can make her way thru Costco and turn sampling into a buffet meal ! I'm embarrassed to admit that I know these people and I'm related to the later.
What some people will do to get something for free ?! Smh under a velvet blankie.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
I accidentally drank some random Wal Mart persons pop. I had a diet coke and took a huge slug off someones orange soda. After I realized what i did I looked around.Each person was worse than the next I started to panic and I could feel my heart beating in my eye sockets. I left without anything I'd come for. Haven't been back since. I can't.
Why do ugly people insist on having sex
The cookie aisle always makes me hot.
Heck its Kansas u know. She doesn't look 35, nor does he look 22 IMO.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
I am jealous of their randiness. Le sigh.
LMAO.
Atleast go to your car in the parking lot. People are so dumb.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
What is really offensive here is that those two look related. Bloody Hell, they were having sex in Walmart, they probably are!
Funny, that's what their "O" faces looked like too.
It seems more like they were sampling X and went to chill at Wally World...
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”
― Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 7:30pm.
LOLOLOL.
Um, honey? Get me the suede floor mats and the Little Trees. We're gonna make a memory!
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Not in a walmart!!!
Although I have done it on the beah and a car
A store its just soo.... Ummm too risky
Take it to the fitting room!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
this is why I stopped going to Walmart...its all about target now
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
COME ON! You can go to the back parking lot to do your sexytimes, you can go to the Automotive section late at night, handcrafts section's not really happening after dark either. LOTS of PLACES, dumbasses! olol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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*sigh* I remember being that young and that horny for each other.
now it's
Him: "I'll be over in the electronics section"
Her: "yeah whatever"
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Man, you'd think they would go into the Garden Center...at least they'd have a little ambiance there.
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
I'd blow him.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Papa Bacon does that. With the grapes, not the lube, you sick horz.
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!