Some whores (aka me) say that Shannen Doherty has already won the lottery a million times over by getting cast in Heathers, getting cast in Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, getting cast in Charmed, getting cast in Little House on the Prairie and getting paid to spit her signature Brenda Walsh bitchiness at that bland tramp harlot whore Kelly Taylor (short version: Shannen Doherty won the lottery by being born as Shannen Doherty), but Shannen Doherty doesn’t think this.
On Friday’s The Talk (via Contact Music), Shannen said that during her Charmed days the crew and her would buy a bunch of lottery tickets together every time the jackpot reached a fever pitch. This one time, the jackpot was at around $50 million and the crew fucked with her emotions by giving her a fake newspaper with the fake lottery numbers on ’em. I’ll Shannen tell you the rest, and warning, reading the following paragraph of words might make you want to start a GoFundMe page to benefit Brenda Walsh’s broke ass:
“I jump up – I’m screaming hysterically – I run out of the make-up trailer, I run to my trailer, I gather up all my stuff, I run to my car, jump in, put it in drive, and start peeling out of the lot. (The cast and crew) come running after my car screaming, I stop really quick, and I’m like, ‘What?’ And they’re like, ‘Where are you going?’ and I’m like, ‘I won the lottery, I quit!’ They had to tell me that I did not win the lottery and I was still broke and I still had to work. I actually cried hysterically, I had tears pouring down my face.”
BROKE?! What about that Brenda Walsh money? Or that Jenny Wilder money? Or the full Cabbage Patch bank I sent her as a kid to thank her for making my life complete by being Brenda Walsh (I didn’t do that, but I should’ve)? I mean, BROKE? Did the producers of Charmed make her put a dollar in the slap jar every time she put five fingers on Alyssa Milano’s face, because that’s the only reason I could come up with for why Shannen Doherty would ever be BROKE.
But whatever, you know that saying? When one door closes repeatedly on a crew member’s head for pranking the wrong bitch, another door opens in an Education Connection online classroom.