People have been choking the peacock (and not in a sexy way) over NBC airing Olympic events 45 hours after that shit happened and then spoiling the results of each event before airing that event (True fact: Spoiled news is extra spoiled when delivered by Bob Costas and the newly dyed wooly mammoth pube bush on his head). But NBC gets points last night for keeping a camera on the parents of U.S. gymnast Aly Raisman as she did her uneven bar routine during the prelim competition. If you ever wanted to see what it would look like if two people with Tourette’s rode on an invisible roller coaster while holding grenades between their butt cheeks, click play on the pricelessness above.
Lynn and Nick Raisman are going through it like a 10-year-old circa 1992 playing Super Mario Kart. They are in it and I bet they were so clenched that their b-holes almost suffocated and fell off during that 50-something seconds. Shit is intense. I love Aly’s mom for screaming “STICKIT!!!!” with feeling, I love Aly’s dad’s “power bottom trying to have ass sex while holding in the wettest fart” facial expressions, I love them both for getting subtle shank eyes from the people around them (the lady in the pink is my shank eye-throwing favorite) and I love Aly’s mom again for ending it with a silent f-bomb.
And Kristen Wiig quit SNL a season too early, because Lynn Raisman is all her.
via Yahoo Sports