Well, Well, Well....
For the first time in YEARS, a dinner date kissed Katie Holmes on the cheek and afterward her face didn't smell like sweaty balls and peen nectar (aka Tommy Cruise breath). I know, I'd be disappointed too if I was her, because when a dinner date kisses me on the face I pray it'll make my cheek smell like sweaty balls and peen nectar.
Katie Holmes, who hasn't stopped smiling ever since she learned how to naturally smile on her own (seriously, she's just showing off now), went to dinner last night in NYC with a bunch of friends including a dude everyone is calling a "mystery man." They make it sound all sexy and shit. That's not a mystery man. That's a manager, agent, lawyer, publicist or some other kind of business type. I know this, because if he was trying to get on her like that, he wouldn't be awkward smiling like me on kindergarten picture day when I was scared of the camera and didn't know how to form my mouth into a smile. That's not a smile of seduction. I also know this, because it's probably been a long time since Katie has gotten good dick, bad dick, soft dick and any kind of dick. If this was a special kind of date, she'd be so excited that she'd be air kissing him with her cooch. But really, who cares about the mystery man thing when there's something more important to scream at. I'm talking Katie taking a cab...AGAIN.
I'm hoping that somewhere between that restaurant and her apartment, she traded that cab for a Bentley. The last thing Suri needs is to know that her mother is making a habit out of taking cabs like a commoner.
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 4:55pm.
Big fucking deal Gladys, if you have been here 5 minutes or 5 years.
You are still an ignorant, uneducated bigot.
By the way dim wit, I'm a girl. Seriously, you have been here so long and know NOTHING about this site at all. Clueless swine!
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Remeber what you told me in the Jackson thread Cuppy? Ignorance is igorance, and this person is either a troll or ignorant. Don't waste your time on this bufoon girl. She's clearly just baiting to get a rise out of people.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Big fucking deal Gladys, if you have been here 5 minutes or 5 years.
You are still an ignorant, uneducated bigot.
By the way dim wit, I'm a girl. Seriously, you have been here so long and know NOTHING about this site at all. Clueless swine!
Sticks and stones may break my bones but I have been here longer than you Mr. Cupcake.
Submitted by gladyslove on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 4:41pm.
YET AGAIN, HERE YOU ARE POSTING ON A WEB SITE OWNED BY A GAY MAN.
WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU BRAIN DEAD TROGLODYTE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE POSTING YOUR BULLSHIT ON SOME WHITE SUPREMICIST WEB SITE OR HANGING OUT AT THE WESTBOROUGH BAPTIST CHURCH?
Edited to add: But I am sure you witnessed you daddy humping those sheep pretty good though. Beastiality is probably cool in your eyes since you are part jackass.
Submitted by bigorexia on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 3:11am.
gladyslove, ya fuckin' bitch - homosexuality has been recorded in over 1,500 species.
I call total and complete bullshit on this supposed 1500 species have homosexual sex. I read the study and I call bullshit on the study as well.
If gays want to compare themselves to animals go right ahead but you are not ever going to convince the majority of civilization that homosexuality is anything but perverse.
I have lived my entire life in and around farms and not once have I ever witnessed male on male intercourse or female on female sex. Complete nonsense.
Submitted by K2 on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 3:15pm.
Love how Karma works. Nothing like a front row seat to witness someone else getting payback. He blindsided Nicole with a divorce after 10 yrs of marriage and jumped into the arms of Penelope Cruiz shortly after. Watching Katie take control of the reins the way she has and screw him over at his own game is priceless ! How does it feel Tom?
Even Nicole must be doing the slow clap for her ..
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...and then go back to sexing Keith Urban. I think Nicky did alright for herself post-Tommy Girl!
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It's PHELPS time!
He caught her on the rebound but one fact remains: Katie has never looked so happy and healthy!
"Mystery Man" is wearing a wedding band.
Katie just got some competition in the newly single group - Octo broke up with her man!!
Love how Karma works. Nothing like a front row seat to witness someone else getting payback. He blindsided Nicole with a divorce after 10 yrs of marriage and jumped into the arms of Penelope Cruiz shortly after. Watching Katie take control of the reins the way she has and screw him over at his own game is priceless ! How does it feel Tom?
Even Nicole must be doing the slow clap for her ..
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:59pm.
LaChaylo & Loopy
Pale, hairy doughy untoned beer belly, big clumsy sausage fingers, lots of huffing and puffing, stiff uncoordinated limbs, mickey mouse grunts and yes b.o.
Quelle horreur.
*hahahahaha*
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Ahahahaha!
The guy who was hitting on me at a recent party wore a navy blazer and his shoulders were covered with dandruff. Argghhhhhh
Yay LaChaylo! Yours truly, HSIC ;)
Now we need to work on the Loop, he has senior sluttiness experience and I want him in. hehehehe
*pulls out Jakey Gyllenhaal recruitment paraphernalia*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 2:11pm.
Bernie is one of those, who if playing a game of telephone, gets EVERYTHING wrong. It was widely reported the dude was her attorney, dining with Katie and HIS WIFE. Not quite sure how he all of a sudden became a gay man who Katie jumped into a relationship with?!
Bernie seems rather bitter towards women in general, when isn't she one herself?
Within, I'm totally in! Team No Put Up!!
LaChaylo & Loopy, lolllol
LaChay, that is the grossness. Girl, I urge you to join.
Loopy, please apply for our vacant position of dating and foreplay coordinator. We'd love you to bring in your well-cultivated talents as well.
*muah*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:59pm.
there goes my appetite.
Within, the stuff of nightmares, which also closely describes the last guy to ask me out. Mind you, I think he was asking every girl there with no date.
LaChaylo & Loopy
Pale, hairy doughy untoned beer belly, big clumsy sausage fingers, lots of huffing and puffing, stiff uncoordinated limbs, mickey mouse grunts and yes b.o.
Quelle horreur.
*hahahahaha*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 2:37am.
she just got out of one relationship with a gay man, why rush into anothrr?
plus, this guy is liking the pap attention just a little too much
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Why am I not surprised that BernardProfitendieu the woman who thinks she is cooler than EVERYONE else, spends her Saturday nights trolling around a celebrity website? Nice way to announce to the world that you don't have a man in your life.
And there'd be nothing wrong with that if you hadn't spend so much time consistently mocking all the the other people who post on this site for being losers.
Next time you troll around here hating on people I think I'll use that opportunity to remind you and everyone else what it is you do on your Saturday nights bitter, middle aged single lady. I bet you spend EVERY weekend here.
No wonder you hate Jen Aniston so much. She's probably the same age as you, but has the life you'll NEVER have.
LOL.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:20pm.
lol
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:16pm.
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Ugh no, I'm with Lucy♥ on this. Team: NO put up.
LaChaylo, you're invited. Please drop by with all your paperwork.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:16pm.
i dunno how you ladies put up with some of these casanovas.
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Oh, Loopy, if you only knew...
*takes out Singleton lifetime membership card*
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:13pm.
Love your bit about his sweat dripping on her boobs. And that's not during sexy-times, it's at the hello kiss. ahahhahahaha
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ohhhh nasty! lol seriously there are some nasty straight guys out there :O
i dunno how you ladies put up with some of these casanovas.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:04pm.
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Katie's biting the inside of her mouth at being papped with Lovitz over hear (credit someone else).
You're right her PR team is working overtime. Enough already. I was asking about TammyGirl yesterday, just imagine!
Love your bit about his sweat dripping on her boobs. And that's not during sexy-times, it's at the hello kiss. ahahhahahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 12:19pm.
there is that scenario as well lol which at least means Katie has to be abit of the work.
Submitted by dementa on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 8:07am.
Submitted by bigorexia on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 3:11am.
Your bigotry makes you no better, douche. Religion won't be the fall of mankind - mankind itself will be. Anything we touch is corrupted.
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THIS^^^^^^^^^^
Oh look: Gladylove is trolling about the "gays" again. Must be a day ending in "y".
Submitted by Twas Brillig on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 11:40am.
I totally agree. The commentary on any subject gets so ridiculous, that it eventually makes the actual news story seem like a cartoon. Don't get me started on all the "psychology" experts, who chime in on "what were they thinking" when such and such took place. Just because you have some degree from a University, does NOT mean that you know WTF anyone was thinking when they did what they did!
@kate773, Doritos makes everything better.
This guy is married and the dinner was between him, Holmes, and HIS WIFE. Of course the media doesn't show the wife in the picture, that would ruin the whole, "Katie might be dating her lawyer!" shenanigan.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:07am.
Why dont you go burn some witches while you're at it.
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*throwing a side eye at all these rude motherfuckers following me around with lighter fluid and sticks*
WHAT THE HELL?
Submitted by radiogrl1 on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 10:53am.
Has no one noticed that the guy is wearing a wedding ring?
If this *is* a date, they're doing it wrong.
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Totally...
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 9:48am.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 9:37am.
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Your descriptions are disturbing but no sex can or will take place between Katie and this man. LOL
But if pressed, here it is, he'll ask her to tie him up and spank him and call him a little pig while he kisses her shoes. Katie will roll her eyes and gag behind his back. A well-know type ugh hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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That's her divorce lawyer, Jonathan Wolfe; I guess his wife was at the dinner, too.
Star headline: "KAT ON THE PROWL ENJOYS DELICIOUS BIG APPLE THREESOME."
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 10:58am.
Submitted by kate773 on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 10:39am.
There is no actual "news" anymore. It is all celebrity nonsense, food and beauty segments. The days of informative, thought provoking, gripping news stories are over.
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And if something big and newsworthy does happen, they beat it to death with inane commentary from every half qualified twit instead of a few compelling educated experts who actually know what they're talking about and aren't just spouting nonsense for airtime.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 10:59am.
@kate - WHAT'S UP BABE!!! HOW YA DOING? LETS GO GET SOME GREASY HOME FRIES AND FRIED EGGS FOR BREFAS....!
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That sounds fucking awesome. I need someone to make me home fries and eggs. And an English muffin with butter. Unfortunately there is no such person and I will have to settle for the Doritos and leftover Thai food. All I need to do is get off the couch and throw it in the microwave. Which right now is easier said than done.
@kate - WHAT'S UP BABE!!! HOW YA DOING? LETS GO GET SOME GREASY HOME FRIES AND FRIED EGGS FOR BREFAS....!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I'd like to bend her over and show her what she's been missing. Bangy, bangy, bangy.
Submitted by kate773 on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 10:39am.
There is no actual "news" anymore. It is all celebrity nonsense, food and beauty segments. The days of informative, thought provoking, gripping news stories are over.
Has no one noticed that the guy is wearing a wedding ring?
If this *is* a date, they're doing it wrong.
It's her lawyer, Jonathan Wolfe. Grinning like a fool to be hanging out with her.
Ugh.
People should concentrate on the new testament. That's what it's there for. I mean, if youre going to use the bible, you know to make people feel like shit and all.
So, I'm totally hungover this morning. I just chugged a bottle of cocoanut water and now I've got my extra large coffee and eyeing the bag of Doritos I just bought. I may have to dive into that.
Also trying to figure out why Katie and Suri taking a fucking cab is actual news. Seriously, it was on the ABC News website yesterday. And that was the headline. Have we sunk that low that that is actually news?
I am hungover as shit as well. I can't leave my bed. I feel better after reading that I'm not the only one.
I'd kiss the lawyer who got me out of that crazy cult and away from that crazy lunatic, too. That lawyer has earned his dime.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 9:37am.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 9:04am.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 8:52am.
The main picture is the only picture where he looks good.
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cuz 80% of his face is covered :P
Exactly - ha!
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i hope katie isnt getting on his train, because judging from his looks and my past experience tells me, i can tell he is one of sweaty brows noisy selfish types, and keeps talking about how amazing it is and saying how wat a great screw this is, but he can't even screw a bottle top. but he thinks he is casanova.
And Katie would be under him, looking at the ceiling, sees a tiny spider crawling, and she closes her left eye and sees that the spider above the guy's ear, and when she closes the right eye, the spider dissapears!
and then she looks at her nails and thinks "damn that hollywood nails place didnt do a good job on my middle finger"
and the guy is done, sweaty, stinky, and his forehead and brow sweat drips all over Katie's tittays.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 9:04am.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 8:52am.
The main picture is the only picture where he looks good.
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cuz 80% of his face is covered :P
Exactly - ha!
Submitted by urmomma on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 1:50am.
*gets on one knee and proposes*
that was amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzinnngggg
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 8:52am.
The main picture is the only picture where he looks good.
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cuz 80% of his face is covered :P