The Voice Of Reason As Always
While most of the Jackson family wrestles each other on a mountain of Michael Jackson's fortune, we've all been wondering where the only Jackson we care about has been. Where was La Toya Jackson? Was Detective La Toya so deep under cover that the only way to contact her was to pass notes to Bubbles? Did crazy Randy Jackson kidnap La Toya too after realizing that she's the crown jewel of the Jackson family and the executors of MJ's estate would hand over everything to get her back? Has La Toya been oblivious to all of this foolery, because she's been holed up in a German plastic surgeon's office getting another pair of rubber testicles installed in her cheeks? The correct answer is: None of those!
TMZ says that La Toya has been missing in action, because she's been too busy thinking with her brain unlike the others. La Toya is reading all the Jacksons and is telling them to turn down the crazy and stop fighting in public. TMZ's source says that La Toya isn't taking sides and is shaking her head at her brothers and sisters being fame whores by putting their family disputes in front of the cameras. La Toya has told all of them to handle this far away from the media.
Yes, La Toya is coming out of this as the sane one. You should probably hold on to something sturdy, because the sheer force of minds blowing over this will make the earth tip over. When La Toya looks deep into your insane eyes and tells you calmly that you're a "crazy fame whore," you need to start whistling out steam, because you're a fucking kettle. It's that serious.
In other Jackson family mess news, UsWeekly says that Katherine Jackson and TJ Jackson will file for joint guardianship of Paris, Blanket and Prince. As long as Katherine and TJ both agree to keep MJ's kids far away from Jermaine's scary hard nipples, this could work.
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LMMFAO at UVY!!!! hahahahahahaha Elliot
thanks, foxxy :)
On topic: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Elliot
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Nancy grace needs to get on this.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:27pm.
I'm back in the office where my old, bald, fat ass belongs!!! Not out working in the heat on jobsites tryna keep up with 25yos!!!!
*rests bucket of chicken on belly*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Christ in a sidecar, who cares? The entire family can fuck off, except LaToya. She can hop in the basket on Elliot's bike and go get me some Reese's Pieces.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:17pm.
welcome home Jack
/i now need a tissue too
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
M.E. - did you have Linda Ronstadt on EIGHT TRACK!?
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
"You need to start whistling out steam, because you're a fucking kettle."
LOL! That might be one of the funniest things MK has written in a while. (And there have been a lot of them....)
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:25pm.
Jacko, you're alive!!!! Thought perhaps you were the victim of an unfortunate incarceration!
I bet when the Olympics start about half way through two stories that would have fallen off the radar almost completely are the Jacksons and Chick-fil-A.
Something's going to happen or some interesting person or group will emerge.
somewhere in the corner of the OWN Network moving sale, Oprah is pissing herself with anticipation...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:12pm.
I watched that Apprentice shit and she came across as a gentle and docile person with her head and her heart in the right place, if a little slow to think. I like her. I bet that, among the Jackson kids, she was the one that got bullied most by the others.
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I was pleasantly surprised by Miss La Toya too. Thought she'd be a diva but she was really quite sweet and sensitive.
LaToya might be getting her sanity back in check but that's still a horrible wig on top of her head.
LOL at old ass M.E. and her VCfuckingR!!!
*sticks hand up the leg of your shorts and plays with your boobs*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:18pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:14pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:12pm
oh no no no no no you don't! who was it that cried out for more outrageous gossip news than lohan and that ilk? who was it again? lol ;-)
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Yeah, yeah, what Foxxy said!
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You're right I am an IDIOT, what the hell was a blabbering on about. lol!
Everytime I see her I remember when Nene leakes called her casper. Bitch just stared at her from the corner like a ghost and didn't say anything. Yet as of now she is the most normal jackson.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:20pm.
Get me a oija board. Ima gonna summon MJ to settle this bullshit.
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Hahahaha!! Bitch needs to come back from the grave stat!
So, after years of people calling MJ and La Toya the crazy ones in the family they now seem normal by comparison. People now understand why MJ kept away and to our surprise La Toya has not been doing every interview under the sun over this situation. Yup when La Toya is the voice of reason you need to reevaluate your life.
Get me a oija board. Ima gonna summon MJ to settle this bullshit.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by ewe on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:13pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:10pm.
JFC! Why don't we just cue Stefano and a possessed Marlena while we're at it.
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Bwahahahahhahah... *dies*
That will forever be the most spectacular thing I have ever seen on television. EPIC TV-MAKING!
And when Marlena was kidnapped and John has some glasses that made him able to see her...
Ahhh, Days of our Lives. We actually cut uni lectures to sit home and watch that shit
*********************************************** Yep. It was on at 3pm here. I used to set the VCR to automatically record it.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:18pm.
Maybe it would be best in the long run if Granny kicked it.
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I'm pretty sure she is already seated in God's waiting room.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:14pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:12pm
oh no no no no no you don't! who was it that cried out for more outrageous gossip news than lohan and that ilk? who was it again? lol ;-)
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Yeah, yeah, what Foxxy said!
Maybe it would be best in the long run if Granny kicked it.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Tito, get me some tissue.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Foxxy - :D
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:12pm
oh no no no no no you don't! who was it that cried out for more outrageous gossip news than lohan and that ilk? who was it again? lol ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:10pm.
JFC! Why don't we just cue Stefano and a possessed Marlena while we're at it.
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Bwahahahahhahah... *dies*
That will forever be the most spectacular thing I have ever seen on television. EPIC TV-MAKING!
And when Marlena was kidnapped and John has some glasses that made him able to see her...
Ahhh, Days of our Lives. We actually cut uni lectures to sit home and watch that shit.
Maybe they will all go away and the world can re-gain it's sanity. Good lord the whole thing is just so completely cra cra crazy on ALL sides.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:10pm
and you win dlisted for today lmfao
/actually i think its more like original dark shadows but carry on ;-P
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Wow, the Mayans must have been right. This is a sure sign the end of the world is coming soon.
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"I'm a vegetarian. It's okay to eat the egg, because the cow doesn't take care of it." - Girl Behind Me At IHOP
I watched that Apprentice shit and she came across as a gentle and docile person with her head and her heart in the right place, if a little slow to think. I like her. I bet that, among the Jackson kids, she was the one that got bullied most by the others.
I say give the kids to La Toya!
JFC! Why don't we just cue Stefano and a possessed Marlena while we're at it.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:07pm.
now, see, when i want those assholes to tweet something they're quiet. i would LOVE to hear some of the voice messages she left for her dear siblings
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The world can now breathe a collective sigh of relief!
I am surprised they didn't kidnap her and force her into a heated game of UNO!
*exhales*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The library is OPEN
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Oh thank God!
You know the jacksons are bunch of psychos when latoya becomes voice of reason.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
We can all go home now indeed, when Latoya is smart enough to publically keep her mouth shut,if only for image sake, in this whole mess.
Also I have to el oh el at the fact that in that picture of the book she's holding,it's called "Latoya Jackson: Starting over" and on the front cover is a picture of Michael. Got damn these people really did use his ass as a means to support themselves didn't they?
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
When I was a young child and watched LaToya and her creepy husband on Geraldo I never would have guessed that she would become the voice of reason in the Jackson famiy. WTF IS HAPPENING?!!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
As long as LaToya's face is around I will always feel like MJ never really left us. They probably all looked at her and for a second saw the ghost of Michael and it shut them all up.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.