Afternoon Crumbs

GOOPY Paltrow continues her obsession with poop by selling turki shit for the rock bottom, peasant price of $240. And turkis are just like turkeys, but they’re fancier and exclusively from Europe or something. – Lainey Gossip 

That glazed look of sweaty shame on Mila Kunis’ face tells me that she’s definitely humping on Ashton Kutcher and she’s not proud of it – The Superficial 

Roseanne needs to start a band and she needs to call it Aborted Chicken Fetus Anus – Towleroad

I totally thought this was a still of the Joker as a nurse from The Dark Knight – Hollywood Tuna 

Things that still happening: RiRi being a swimsuit, RiRi being on vacation, RiRi being a drunk and RiRi being annoying through pictures – Drunken Stepfather

Poke at me when somebody makes the real life version of Bianca Dupree’s mansion from Beverly Hills Teens – The Berry 

John Travolta is ready to sword fight Tommy Girl to be Scientology’s pin-up of choice – Celebitchy

The Dancing with the Has-Beens: All-Has-Beens cast was announced – Just Jared

And when The Lesbeaver landed, his au pair Selena Gomez made him suck off a bar of soap – ICYDK

Bane. A Baby in a Bjorn. Rapping. That is all. – Videogum

Hayden Christensen is really making that Star Wars money stretch – Moe Jackson 

Grey’s Anatomy will be McSteamy-less next season – I’m Not Obsessed

Mischa Barton swimsuit pictures just aren’t the same without her screaming at the paps for trying to get close-ups of her cellulite – Popsugar

Katy Perry’s in a two piece – Popoholic

They say Lady CaCa is making her acting debut in Machete Kills, but hasn’t the bitch been acting this whole time? – Hollywood Rag

Something tells me Bruno Mars and Windex are about to become best friends forever – Cityrag