The Photoshop Lifetime Achievement Awards: Mimi's First American Idol Promo Picture
Let's all take a moment of silence for all the feeling Mimi's full-time, personal Photoshop artiste lost in his fingers after spending hours upon hours erasing all pixels of reality from her first American Idol promo picture to make this gloriously fraudulent masterpiece. Mimi's Photoshopper used the hell out of the de-rib tool and pinched her waist so much that it looks like her intestines escaped up to her chichis area to keep from suffocating. Even that sun looks skinnier.
Everything about this is perfection from her HERP DERP hand poses to the sun setting in the background to the blurry puddle of Photoshop sloppiness in the water on the left. It's as if the late Bob Ross and the late Thomas Kinkade joined artistic forces to paint a portrait of Mimi using only melted wax and lies.
via Wetpaint (Thanks, Lane)
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Hello, it's been a while since I had not come on that is still - perhaps more - beautiful.
To regret not spending more time to give my news to the community, I wish you good day and tell you congratulations for this wonderful work!
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Submitted by moonmaid on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:17pm.
Mariah's diva behavior doesn't bother me. I am cool with people playing the diva when they really ARE divas.
J.Lo irritated me for that very reason, because bitch has NO singing ability, yet makes ridiculous demands as if she is some rare, delicate, once-in-a-millenium talent.
Personally, Mariah gets under my skin with her "I'm a 6-year old girl and aren't I precious?" thing. She is WAY too old for that.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 12:30pm.
Oh, you! Too funny. She sure does think she's a pretty, precious princess (you can tell from all that dumbass glitter! and butterflies! and rainbows! and unicorns! crap) and she is actually somewhat busted. I have always maintained, even before her ill-advised boob job and weight gain, that she does not have a pretty face. She has a moonface with no visible cheekbones. And I agree with you that she definitely looks better with curly (or at least wavy) hair. The straight hair only emphasizes her angle-less face.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I've seen dolls that look more human than this. I can't with her.
You can tell her dress is photoshopped to the extreme. The right side by her butt you can see the actual fabric on the edge of the dress, but on the left side and upper right of the dress is completely smooth on the sides. I guess they were trying to go for hourglass figure - but it really looks bizarre. And what happened to shrink her head? I think a new nose also.
I will watch her on AI though. She is a true diva and will be so entertaining.
janice? http://cdn.crushable.com/files/2011/09/Janice.jpg
Total Chandler smile.
At least she asked for the Jessica Rabbit, no? But what an ODD pose! Obviously whoever did this wasn't expecting you to look too closely MK... THEY WERE SO WRONG! hahaha ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Capitanne on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:26pm.
"Miss Jay on Project Runway would tear her a new one for that pathetic tranny pose. "
he'd also tear you a new one for saying that he was on Project Runway, lol ;-P
get yo' gay men straight [see what i did there] -- J is on ANTM, the national treasure that is Tim Gunn is Project Runway
OT: Mariah is crazy and "thick," but she can sing circles around all of us
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:11pm.
photoshop is as evil as crocs...
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With or without the fur trimming?
What more can I say Top Billin'... Audio Two
Sigh... Mariah isn't ugly, although she should give her photoshop crew a break and just do some aerobics and use some Spanx if she is going to insist on them making her that small.
My biggest issues with her appearance is the fact her face NEVER manages to deliver the "sex kitten" feeling that she keeps trying to put out there with her body. I know she feels like she was being fake when she was lighter, thinner, and had more volume to her hair, but her current look is so, SO fake looking.
I bet Mimi has everything in her house bedazzled with diamonds and gemstones.
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"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin
Between all the fukery going on, I'm glad Mimi could brighten my day with her Barbizon modeling glamour.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Her hubby is cuter than she is. She looks like an ugly pornstar by day who works 3rd rate casinos at night. Why does Mariah make herself ugly on purpose? Beyonce is starting to do this also. She should get a makeover before she hits the primetime: Darken the hair or put more honey brown and get rid of the porn star ashy hay yellow, change the makeup palette, reduce the boobs if she's not still breastfeeding. they make her look fat and addd weight to her linebacker shoulders. You are a diva, wear glam clothess not what cheap motel hookers would wear. Sigh but she sure can sing. That's no lie.
It looks like a Sears Portrait Studio.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
You know those illustrations of historical or funny characters, with cut-outs for the heads and hands for people to use as photo ops in tourist locations?
Well, Mimi here looks like she's at one of them, but the illustration board is her own photoshoppedness.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
oh now I see that is the tranny Mariah...the real one looks much much worse.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:06pm.
Is THAT a new nose?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
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It does look more petite. I get back spasms looking at this mess.
BTW, I'm honored that you quoted me, GG!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
BITCH IS UGLY AND STILL FAT AND WILL BALLOON BACK TO HER NORMAL 200 LBS. SOON ENOUGH!
Does this trick think she's Jessica Rabbit or what???
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
they must have broke the Photoshop machine on this one...or the program or whatever..already over AI and now REALLY over AI..Mimi is an exhausting person to look at and hear.
picasso photoshop.
homegirl gotta alot plastic surgery.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Im the Mary on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 2:16pm.
Why is she clenching her teeth so hard?
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Because the 5 layers of Spanx she is wearing is cutting off all blood circulation to the brain.
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:52pm.
Mimi looks like she has a bad case of scoliosis going on.
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Lol. It's a medical condition!
Somebody poured 60 minutes of extra sand into the glass.
I thought she went on Jenny Craig?
Y'all are making me pee my pants with these comments.
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Why is she clenching her teeth so hard?
If this is the shot they picked, I want to see the other ones!
Mimi looks like she has a bad case of scoliosis going on.
She has meaty hands.
"Melted wax and lies." HAHAHAHAH!!
who stands like that? and why do her hands look so huge and her head look so small?
wow, fail.
I usually like Mimi but this photo does her no favors. What's up with that hand placement? It's like she wanted to leave her middle free for photoshopping. And she has a nice smile, what's with that trying to hold back a turd look?
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elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 12:43pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 12:26pm.
I wonder if she'll be carried to and from the judging panel?
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She'll be carried by 8 buff dudes in loin clothes, one will follow with one of those huge white (purple in her case) feathers fans on a long pole, She'll be fed grapes the whole time people are singing and it'll be in her contract she must have a camera on her at all time and take up half the screen even when some one is screaming (singing..especially when someone is singing) and all the contestants will only be allowed to sing her songs.
Judging by her QVC appearances, she will be even more entertaining to watch than Paula..
I'm sure she'll be on AI's ass about lighting and angles etc.. The live camera don't lie.
EC -- Choupette's a crafty kitty! I wish I were one of her attending maids -- what a life!
Miss Jay on Project Runway would tear her a new one for that pathetic tranny pose. Even her hands look like a man's.
That has to hurt! The fact that the "real" you is not aceptable so they have to do this fuckery to the pictures is sad.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:16pm.
EC -- at least Choupette is adorable & sweet & deserves her own umbrella man!!!
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She's smart too. She knew which side her bread was buttered on, and decided to schmooze Karl while she was in his care, totally ding-dong ditching her previous owner.
She knew how to charm the old man, and live in luxury! I applaud her crafty cat game, and wish I had her life!
I gotta give her a pass. Because she has actual talent as a singer, is a decent songwriter and was fairly helpful when coaching the AI contestants a couple years back. Yes, she is an over the top diva, but at least she has something to be a diva about. She should really rethink the size of her breast implants though, imho. More talent than JLo, who couldn't sing her way out of an autotuned paper bag.
I agree wholeheartedly. She can be a diva because she has the chops to back it up. JLo isn't even in her galaxy talent wise. Photo looks stupid though.
EC -- at least Choupette is adorable & sweet & deserves her own umbrella man!!!
She looks awkward.
I cannot stand big-boned figures.
If she was really this thin, they'd still be showing her Jenny Craig commercial.
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Now when you look at me, you're condemned to see
The monster your mother made you to be
And there ya got me, that's how you got free, you got rid of me
photoshop is as evil as crocs...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Even with 50 pairs of Spanx on, she would not look this, uh, skinny. Heffa has the body of a linebacker.
BTW, I am so tired of her opulent diva schtick.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 1:03pm.
Hahaha! You are right, BUT I think that Karl's umbrella holder also double duties as his Diet Coke server as well, and don't forget, there is also Choupette to now cover with the umbrella, unless she has her own umbrella man.
It is work being the slave of divas. I am sorry, but I might opt for poverty over being some slave holding a cup, can of coke or an umbrella.
I wonder how much PDiddy's umbrella holder makes. After all that was what Diddy was to Notorious B.I.G, if memory serves.
Is THAT a new nose?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012