Thursday, July 26th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By Gary Stretch
So this is what Paul from the Wonder Years has been up to.
Meet 41-year-old Gary "Stretch" Turner is unofficially the man with the world's stretchiest skin (and officially the man with the world's janked up teefs) and it isn't because he weighed 500 million pounds and lost most of it during a season of Biggest Loser. Gary has a condition called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which Gawker describes as "an inherited connective tissue disorder that causes his skin to be twice as thin as normal." And I describe it as having a built-in dental dam made of skin! If Gary's piece dare open their crotch to his tattered mouth situation, they don't have to bring their own rubber sheet of protection. Gary's got one already!
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Fred Willard is on Jimmy Fallon and he's making jokes about his bust!
_________________________
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
I` d fuck a cop. And all he would have to do is open his zipper. He can stay dressed, pretty please.
(not those two fuckers who wrote me my tickets, they can go fuck themselves)
Nite Dlisted friends...turning in. Peace to you all.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@Hotmami
That sounds really hot--*and naughty :p*
I wish I could tell about the worse thing I've done with a military guy but I'd have to allude to too much personal info so ill pass for now.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
*reads Hotmami's post. faints*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I had a friend (Air Force)that I had a "we fuck when we are both horny" kinda thing with, and our most memorable time was the time that I raced home to meet after work before picking up the little one,lol. We're still good friends, too.
He made me keep my uniform on. :) God, that day...*excuses self*
GG, OMG, YES. Cops are hot as SHIT.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Cops are hot too... :P
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Hotmami, that sure got GG's attention, didn't it?
If you don't want a real soldier, you could always play dress up, no? funtimes hahahah
*Likes uniforms too*
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Well EH, then my better half is the exeption...hes 21 years USN.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Yeah, you dont meet too many deep thinkers in the militay. Basically, if you can drink, fuck, shoot some shit and ride on the back of a motorcycle or Ford truck, youre in.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Bummer! Marines are excellent exercise - better than that PX90 shit.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
LOL, WR! GG, the Marine that I laid it down on ruined it. I will never look at a Marine now without thinking about him. Ugh.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Did someone mention HOT SPECIAL FORCES DUDES??? :P Ya know back in my whore days I "dated" jarines....mmmm hot hard marine bodies. They were prudy looking but damn you really couldnt talk to them unless it was about beer, shooting shit up or fucken'!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 9:59pm.
--
Did you mention hot Special Forces dudes? heeheehee Contain yourself Hotmami! You must at all times, conduct yourself in a manner worthy of your stature! llolol ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
UBF, the worst of the four was the Marine. I met him at a bar and forgot to pre-game before I got him to my house. I WILL NEVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Haha, hotmami, i stuck with Army all along. We have Airforce here on base along with Army but i never had the pleasure.
LOL, UBF. I've tapped the four major services. I'm good. :D
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
haha, hotmami, i believe it when i see it.....
I learned my lesson about marrying military dudes. My ex and I met in the military, and he got out after our first year of marriage and hasn't had a steady job since.
Ugh. No more military dudes.
Maybe. ;)
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Event Horizon on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 10:07pm.
Mmmm, soldiers but dating one is no fun.
........
Married one, hot as all hell :)
I'm a mom to 2 of them, that part is no fun :(
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Mmmm, soldiers but dating one is no fun. They deploy every freaking year so time spent together is always fleeting and my most recent bf has to get a 100,000 hours of flying time or something crazy like that so that makes couple time together even less! But he looks good, and I guess that means more to me than I know.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
So I'm on this work detail this month where I am issuing gear to soldiers. Special Forces dudes are so hot. The rest of it sucks,lol.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 9:22pm.
omg mike! You always have the best links! :)
Well I'm glad to someone appreciates my linkage. Night after night I give y'all GOLD. :)
Hiya Hotmami! A freakin' men to that!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Hey,everybody! I am SO GLAD tomorrow is Friday. I'm fucking BEAT.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
What's with China and the sex toys???
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
It hardly ever rains here, and falling asleep to raindrops on the window is one of the best things in life.....:(
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
This is the second story out of China in about a month detailing a sex toy being mistaken for something else. I don’t know if you caught it or not, but one Chinese television station sent out a young female reporter, Ye Yunfeng, to a remote village where a strange mushroom had been discovered.
“This looks like a type of fungus with mushroom heads on both ends. On this side, you can see what look like a pair of lips and on the other side it has a small hole that goes through to the other end,” said Yunfen as villagers are shown grabbing the shaft and poking at what is a very obvious (and dirty) sex toy floating in a bucket of water.
After the video went viral and the station was informed that what the villagers had discovered was a fake vaginaanus, they released a statement apologizing to their viewers and blaming Yunfen for being young and naive. Here’s the video in case you are one of the two people who haven’t seen it.
http://www.dreamindemon.com/2012/07/25/sex-doll-saved-drowning-18-cops/
Oh shit ahahaha
Cops In China Save Sex Doll From Drowning
ahahahahahahaha the deflated sex doll on the concrete bwahahahahahahahaha!
*bookmarks site*
omg mike! You always have the best links! :)
Mike, dang that site, you can never read just one story. Once you click, you can't stop... *gags* at least they're short and to the point, lol
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
GG, that sounds real nice. I'm sure he'd be proud you're able to do that for his scouts! Bet they appreciate your effort too. ☺
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
eeek:
http://www.dreamindemon.com/2012/07/26/sleeping-chinese-mans-penis-sever...
WR, I'm doing better. I have my moments. Thanks for caring babe, it means a lot.
I am working on my dads projects...he had many irons in the fire. He was a Boy Scout leader and did much of the regalia for them. So I made 4 goats, fixed a breast plate, and 5 sets of bells for the fancy dancers. THank god I watched pops in his man cave making all of this stuff or I would be fucked.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 8:12pm.
I'm with ya Hekki! Tornados a'comln'. It is starting to look pretty dark out there.
GG's right! Free yourself! LOL!!
Hekki go run in the rain naked! It's so liberating!!!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Oh la la! The storm is here! Crazy wind, the sky is black. Gotta go shut all the windows...
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 7:59pm
--
Not at all GG! Are you doing better though?
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
OLOLOL bebeh, you make me feel bad, but I still ღღღ you! So there! hehehehe
*sticks tongue out and wiggles mah fingers* Mind in the gutter! ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
I didnt mean to bum anyone out but I figure maybe if the universe can get Lilo put in the slammer it's win win for all of us!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Sweet GG, my condolences to you ;( ... happy belated birthday (I got the day wrong a while back) ... and very happy to have you back! Yes, the universe does owe you something for that, I vote we go get some milkshakes to mull this over! ❀❀❀
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
WR, I figure the Universe owes me big time for taking my pops on my birfday...so I came up with this instead of Courtney shinanegans...Lilo knocks over a 7-11 with a torn panty on her head to hide her identity, and winds up on the 405 going the wrong way in a high speed chase while driving a stolen Sherrifs car. Rams the cruiser into the Courthouse and while she stumbles out of the car she gives us one last beaver shot. Finally gets booked to the Halleljah chorus.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 7:35pm.
Submitted by beb on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 7:07pm.
Exhibits A, B and C, folks.
----
"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
lol Jazzy, well if no cost is what you're after, you could buy the curtain, add a rod and park it in your yard over the sprinkler system. That would work too...
Ugh beef curtains? Are they like tube steak? Nope, already ate today, ha
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Lol GG, fwiw, for me the Katie & Little Lord CO$ scandal has been the most surprising so far. The Jackson kiddie saga is absolutely turning into THE most amusing story of the year. I smell excellent WHERE ARE THEY NOW in 5 years! *shameface*
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 7:22pm.
Jazzy, have you ever heard of no curtain in the shower? *no double entendre here people* llololl
===
No beef curtains??
Yes, actually, and I would love to make a wet room. Just walk in the bathroom and get water everywhere.