Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

July 24, 2012 / Posted by:

What Real Housewife has secretly been taking birth control pills without telling her husband. He thinks they are trying for a baby. She thinks it may be time to get divorced and wants no part of a baby with him right now. It’s not RHNYC or RHATL. (CDAN)

It’s not Alexis Bellino from Real Housewives of Orange County, because I doubt she knows where babies come from let alone that something called a birth control pill exists. If the dumb bitch knows about the birth control pill, she probably thinks it’s something a knocked up ho in labor takes to slow down labor so she has enough time to get her nails done, wax her coochie, slip on her Alexis Couture diamante birthing gown and get her make-up done for free at the MAC counter at Nordstrom. Always gotta keep it glamorous, even on the birthing table.

It’s not Teresa “Gorilla Head” Giudice and Joe “Lame Chimp” Giudice, because I read in National Geographic, or something, that Animal Control caught those two in the wild, tagged them and sterilized them both so they can’t spawn anymore.

So, my official guess is Melissa and Joe Gorga?

This A list R&B singer has always shown he can and is an a-hole, but even with his past track record this might have brought him to new levels of a-holiness. His now former girlfriend is telling everyone that for the past year she was forced to watch the singer have sex with at least one person a night if she wanted to stay with him. She put up with it because he would pay her and give her gifts and she always thought he loved her. In addition to this demeaning activity, he would also make her have sex with his friends because he was not always up for having sex with her. With other people yes, but not always her. I hope you see where I am going with this. When he couldn’t perform with her he would yell and scream at her and blame her. He tried to not hit her. Most of the time. (CDAN)

When you put the words “R&B singer” and “a-hole” in the same sentence, only one name come to mind: FIST BROWN? The bad news is that Karkuchie Tran (or whatever her name is) thinks she’s digging for gold, but she’s digging up a whole lot of bad memories wrapped in shit instead. The not-as-bad news is that since that anus of a beaver doesn’t want to hump on her, she doesn’t have to worry about riding his gross inner tube dick.

Which seemingly innocent Teen Mom star likes to mellow out with marijuana? “She’s a good girl, but she does fall prey to the pressures of her troubled family,” a source tells Star. (Star via Blind Gossip)

I hate when people say “ALL OF THEM,” but is there any other answer? Don’t all Teen Moms turn their baby’s bottle into a bong at one point or another?

Which member of One Direction seems to want to be such a prolific shagger that access to much of UK’s female population might not be enough for him? Some photos of him have been floating around on Gaydar. (Popbitch via Blind Gossip)

There’s not many things I’m proud of in life, but one of the things I am proud of is the fact that I don’t know any of those One Direction twinks by name. My guess is: whichever one is having a high-pitched tantrum on the floor right now, because he can’t connect to Grindr.

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