Tuesday, July 24th 2012

Afternoon Crumbs

Katie Holmes did an interview with C Magazine just a day before she knocked the plug out of Tommy Girl's butt by filing for divorce and she managed to get through it without screaming, "I'M ALMOST FREEEEEEEEEEEE!" - Lainey Gossip

This is the look: Jennifer Aniston as a Volvo-driving, sandwich crust-cutting, KMart-shopping, 50 Shades of Grey-reading mom - Celebitchy

The Carly Rae Jepsen beej tape that doesn't really star Carly Rae Jepsen. I think. - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

David Beckham makes children cry, ladies swoon their nipples off, eyeballs pop out of sockets, etc.... - Towleroad

But the real story here is, how did Casper Smart's toddler frog looking ass get into an adult store without getting carded? - The Superficial 

I see someone was inspired by Courtney Stodden's opulent arm bracelet - Hollywood Tuna 

BREAKING: Lea Michele manages to pose in front of photographers without busting out a sexyface - Popoholic

Chris Evans must really want to get them zits popped proper - ICYDK

DO play this prank on your wife - Videogum

Boy George does Blahna Del Meh's Video Games - Just Jared

Panty Creamers of the Day: Men in mantyhose - The Berry 

"Ohshit, I have to fly commercial too?!" - Suri Cruise - Popsugar

I think I spot Latrice - OMG Blog

Correction to my previous statements: Stacey Dash CAN do wrong and she has with this mound of musical dingles - Crunk + Disorderly

How Jennifer Aniston spends her Sunday afternoons - Cityrag

Jon & Kate + 8 - Jon + Some Dude - I'm Not Obsessed

Hermione Granger might get tied up and slapped around - Hollywood Rag

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Doll-Parts's picture

One of the best-written celebrity articles ever re: Katie Holmes: http://www.vulture.com/m/2012/07/katie-holmes-cruise-has-left-the-buildi...

"This world is a whore."

Submitted by Daniee on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 10:21pm.

Yeah, she should have just left her nose alone, IMO. But I think about everyone basically. Everyone wants a barbie nose.
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Wow!!! You're right, she DID have a nose job. Thin noses are sooo overrated. Her old, wider nose gave her that softer, much younger look. Thin noses can age you. I could see her getting one if she was not pretty, but she was so pretty and sexy.

skabazzle's picture

Haven't read Fifty Shades, but I believe Christian Grey is supposed to be a ginge? That said, if Ian Somerhalder is in ANYTHING acting like a sexy man-slut, I am down.

The dog birthday parties were cute - particularly the little bulldog in Thumb #5 wearing a dress, a Spongebob hat and a FML face - and Thumb #8 with a little puppeh that looks like my munchkin in my avie :)

Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 9:00pm.
LOL Whamo at "my Gwenny" hehehehe
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She really did look gorgeous Reason you'll see, I'm sure MK will put it up and all the D horz will call her names and hurt her feeling and I'll ride in and save her from all the meanies lol!

*said with the conviction of grade 7 innerself*

PrettyHateMachine's picture

Katie Holmes is boring and a less than stellar actress. No one gives a fuck about her without Tommy Girl, that's why she is forever dragging Suri around with her. If Suri was Katie and someone else's daughter, no one would care about her either.

Daniee's picture

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue
She was. No one cared about Michelle until Heath Ledger died.
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When you are just talking in terms of celebrity, then I might agree, but Michelle was getting a lot more buzz and probably call backs from auditions than Katie in her indie film work pre Brokeback Mountain.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by Daniee on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 10:57pm.
Katie thought she was the real 'star' of Dawson Reeks.

She was. No one cared about Michelle until Heath Ledger died.

Two years from now when no one is mentioning her name anymore, I bet Katie would be thinking "I should have killed Tom and made it look like an overdose!"

Daniee's picture

I have to say that I do believe the part about Katie being pretty jealous of Michelle Williams success, even though I hardly pay much heed to Lainey's rantings. Katie thought she was the real 'star' of Dawson Reeks.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by ewe on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 7:44pm.
Oh but you forget, she has "survived" Tom and Scientology (even though she walken willingly and open-eyed into that arrangement). People root for her, innocent as she is in all this.

LOL'd

The fact that this all died down so quickly reinforces the very first thing I said about this divorce: carefully orchestrated. So LOL @ all the Run!Katies.

Love the dress. Had something very similar in the late 1980s, light wool jersey with zippers on both sides. My mother stopped by one day, decided to "help" with the laundry and threw it in the machine. ON HOT. It came out toddler size.

The cover looks almost exactly like a W mag cover.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 10:44pm.

Oh I didn't even see that link! I definitely spot Latrice, and unfortunately, I see Phi Phi there too. Also see Alexis Mateo and Raven. The one in the afro is either Willam, Manila or Juju.

TexnDoc's picture

Latrice is definitely in RuPaul's next series. Hope that wasn't PhiPhi I saw there, although you have GOT to bring back the evil queens, too.

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 6:19pm.
I'm guessing they imagine themselves in the role. That's why ladies read romances, right? So I'm guessing they want to cast someone who's relatable for their housewifey audience. Which could mean, maybe women who have watched Hermione grow up? Just guessing.

I haven't read it and won't, but isn't Steele supposed to be an innocent (a virgin?) whom Grey introduces to all nasty, worldly things?

justincase's picture

She looks a bit like Demi Moore in that picture - same plastic surgeon or photo-shop technician perhaps.

TexnDoc's picture

I've been in that situation where I pulled up on a highway with a tow truck towing one of those big rigs hooked up in the opposite direction and it scared the shit out of me too for a couple seconds. (Videogum)

Daniee's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 5:52pm.
Katie has completely lost that soft, naive ingenue looks she used to have.
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Yeah, she should have just left her nose alone, IMO. But I think about everyone basically. Everyone wants a barbie nose.

Jennifer Aniston always looks the same to me and pretty good. I think I like her better without the golden tanned look however.

P.T.Bull's picture

As to the comment on riri's outfit--she has a world class butt, and judging from concert footage I have seen, she knows so and makes it the star of the show. So, when she parades around with her tiny titties in tiny tops, it is a yawner. Can see a hundred like that downtown at lunch hour.

I think she looks pretty great here. Her hair is very pretty.

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 7:27pm.
Sans Fards: her line is (I believe) sold at Barney's. It's expensive. I think it's very wearable stuff but I don't know if it will catch on. It needs to be a little more distinctive at that price.

I think she should position herself in a Tory Burch kind of slot. Pricey but within reach. Although maybe she likes the snob appeal.

She's showing this fall and I'm actually paying attention to see how the collection is received.

ETA: I predict she'll be the darling of the press. She's on a hot streak.

______________________________________________________________

gotcha...I didn't realize she already was already selling her stuff. Barney's is pricey and so yeah, I won't be going there. Better that than a line of perfume, which any ho these days can get.

Jessica Simpson's shoes are actually really cute! I was all prepared to give them the side eye like I usually do with celeb fashion, but my interview black heels have gotten me two jobs, so far.

_______________________________________________

It's PHELPS time!

WithinReason...'s picture

LOL Whamo at "my Gwenny" hehehehe

Katie looks great!

Caspa looks bored to freaking death. lmao

*Applauds* Boy George showing Del Meh how it's done, she won't listen. Dumb

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

LaChaylo's picture

I highly recommend the article greeneggs posted. It definitely calls out Katie on her own opportunistic ways, i.e.parading Suri like a prop in her own Not Without My Daughter. Not that Tom's a saint, but I totally believe she's in control of the spin at the moment. My favorite tidbit is how some insider says she's jealous of her Dawson's Creek costar getting Oscar nods.

Anyway, Tom and Katie are just a couple of famewhore idiots who got married for their careers.

cdawg's picture

I almost want to send Carly Rae a video of me giving a beej so bitch knows how to get it done. I'm a proud slut and that video gave me a case of the sads.

be cool about fire safety

Juniperjump's picture

Can't believe that MK didn't include Katie's hat pic! She looks good but WTF???

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 7:38pm.
Sans: I've heard really good things about Jessica Simpson's shoes. They're cute and comfortable and affordable.
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Well they are designed for elephants so I would think they have to be durable and comfortable:)

ewe's picture

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 5:43pm.

I don't see that Katie Holmes will ever have anything resembling a "career", as, going by that picture alone, she is the quintessential "average brunette" without a single distinguishing feature to set her apart from the millions of other average brunettes.
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Oh but you forget, she has "survived" Tom and Scientology (even though she walken willingly and open-eyed into that arrangement). People root for her, innocent as she is in all this.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

well, gee. I could look like a supermodel too, if someone AIRBRUSHED THE SNOT OUTTA MY PHOTO.

Katie always looks like a bag of dirty laundry left on the street. She does NOT look THAT. GOOD.

goddamn fashion magazines suck.

chezchez's picture

Oh Lord, the Carly Rae Jepson sex tape is just horrible.

Whamo's picture

Katie looks very pretty and damn hot in that shot, Yeeeeeeeoooowsa

I saw on TV just now my Gwenny will be on the cover of Elle next edition and she looks Hooooooot:P

Now call her names in 3...2....1.,

Hekki's picture

Sans: I've heard really good things about Jessica Simpson's shoes. They're cute and comfortable and affordable. And comfortable.

And three's something for everyone. There are sluttacious shoes and stuff a virgin could wear to church. Good business.

Hekki's picture

Sans Fards: her line is (I believe) sold at Barney's. It's expensive. I think it's very wearable stuff but I don't know if it will catch on. It needs to be a little more distinctive at that price.

I think she should position herself in a Tory Burch kind of slot. Pricey but within reach. Although maybe she likes the snob appeal.

She's showing this fall and I'm actually paying attention to see how the collection is received.

ETA: I predict she'll be the darling of the press. She's on a hot streak.

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 6:53pm.

I have this theory, which I'm going to stick with till the box office proves me wrong, that the movie won't do well unless Steele and Grey are as most readers imagined them. I'm hoping bored moms didn't have the chick from Harry Potter in mind as they read.

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 5:57pm.
Submitted by Puppy Love: "I've always found her very attractive, and she's already had a decent career (though YMMV and obviously does). Now, the question is where will she go from here--her ridiculous level of fame can both hurt and help her, depending on how she uses it I suppose."

I think Katie will focus on her fashion stuff, and maybe get into "designing" other things. She's pretty much set for money and can do whatever she wants. I think she'll get Suri into a schedule and less jet-set lifestyle and hit the NYC social scene.

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That could work. If it's non-shitty stuff people would actually buy, like Jessica Simpson's shoe line (I have three pairs, don't judge) or Daisy Fuentes for Kohls, hey, I wouldn't say no to a Katie Holmes handbag or necklace.

If it's like the KKKartrashian Kollection or whatever the hell it's called, well obviously that's set up to fail.

_______________________________________________

It's PHELPS time!

M.E.'s picture

Stupid hormones

*wipes tear*

And Becks is a nice guy too????

*swoons*
(with ball gag)

SANS FARDS's picture

bahahaha at the guy's reaction on seeing Becks! I'd probably faint on the spot (as long as he didn't open his mouth and speak with that....VOICE of his)

Rihanna should just keep her hair au naturel. None of that bright red clown shit.

Casper Smart is really the best J.Lo can do? smh.

I don't mind Jen's bangs, but that outfit makes her look 10 years older than she really is.
_______________________________________________

It's PHELPS time!

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 5:34pm.

Emma Watson as Anastasia Steele? That's who bored, unfulfilled moms imagined in the role?

______________________________________________

Terrible choice IMO. Emma Watson can actually act. I was picturing Kristen Stewart...she's perfect for the role, like she was perfect for the uninspiring-yet-slightly-bitchy Bella Swan in Twatlight.

_______________________________________________

It's PHELPS time!

M.E.'s picture

What is going on bitches?

Haribo's picture

katie looks good! i think breaking loose from tom is really paying off! she can be herself at last!! wear what she wants, raise suri the way she feels is appropriate and just do whatever the heck she wants.
off topic...i don't know how i did it but i came across this vid on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-1lao5UUac

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

IHateCharityChic's picture

Katie Holmes was boring before Cruise and she is only slightly less boring now. But that will pass. She will be incredibly boring once this divorce drama dies down.

And while some may portray her as a feminist hero, to me she will always be the girl who dumped her friends and her family for weirdo Cruise and then willingly played a five year fake marriage con on everyone. Why is that OK now? Because you hate scientology? Can't you hate Scientology AND think she's a con artist all at the same time?

Holmes hired a new security team and then tried to pass them off as Scientology goons who were stalking her. She learned a lot of manipulative PR shit from Cruise that she is now using to reel in all of her new "fans". The woman actually has people believing that her daily photo-ops are a form of protection from Scientology. I bet Kim Kardashian would give her right arm to use an excuse like that for her famewhoring ways.

crazyinjapan's picture

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 5:34pm.

Emma Watson as Anastasia Steele? That's who bored, unfulfilled moms imagined in the role?
_______________--

I'm guessing they imagine themselves in the role. That's why ladies read romances, right? So I'm guessing they want to cast someone who's relatable for their housewifey audience. Which could mean, maybe women who have watched Hermione grow up? Just guessing.

That picture of Katie grimly and determinedly pulling a shocked and horrified Suri through an airport is funny shit! The looks on their faces!

I saw a mention of Courtney Stodden's arm bracelet. What is that girl up to? I'm using to seeing her softcore porn every few weeks. I kind of miss her goofy ass.

Kizzy's picture

Werk that hawt look, Katie girl, WERK IT!!
Take THAT Tommybitch!!

************************************
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

Orangina's picture

"It's ME time." -Kate Gosslin, everyday when she wakes up and looks in the mirror

Hekki's picture

Submitted by Puppy Love: "I've always found her very attractive, and she's already had a decent career (though YMMV and obviously does). Now, the question is where will she go from here--her ridiculous level of fame can both hurt and help her, depending on how she uses it I suppose."

I think Katie will focus on her fashion stuff, and maybe get into "designing" other things. She's pretty much set for money and can do whatever she wants. I think she'll get Suri into a schedule and less jet-set lifestyle and hit the NYC social scene.

12stepstohell's picture

I want 50 shades of grey to just go away. So go ahead and make the movie already and get it over with.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

That's KATE Holmes to you !!

Cretins!

Hekki's picture

Katie has completely lost that soft, naive ingenue looks she used to have.

Stacy Dash must have a painting in an attic somewhere. I don't know her except from "Clueless" but I like her a lot.