Lindsay Lohan has just finished her first week of shooting Bret Easton Ellis’ low-budget, soft-core mess The Canyons with porn star James Deen, and the movie’s director Paul Schrader is so crackstruck that he’s dribbling out LOL-inducing words of fuckery about her performance on the movie’s Facebook page. LiLo’s performance as a drunk L.A. slut whore is so complex that if you peeled away the thick layers of her performance, not only would you find a thin film of slightly-dried ass wart pus, but you’d also find shades of Gena Rowlands, Ann Margaret, Faye Dunaway and a bunch of other actresses she should never be compared to.
This note from Paul makes so much more sense if you picture him typing it while White Oprah stands next to him, threatening to flash her tit bags at him if he doesn’t spread the delusion:
LINDSAY. Seven days in, first full week completed. Lindsay Lohan is a huge fan of Hollywood glamour and performances from the Golden Era. Working with her every day on varied scenes I’ve been making a mental checklist of classic movie performances she’s touched upon. There’s has been a lot of Ann Margaret, some Gena Rowlands and Faye Dunaway and of course some bits of Liz Taylor and Monroe as well as a little Rita Hayworth and even Gene Tierney (although the last may be more my creation than hers). Oh yeah, and Angie Dickinson. And Lee Remick. And Shelley Winters… . Paul S.
That really took Paul a lot of keystrokes to simply say: “I just smoked up the greatest crack in the city with Blohan!”