The “Man Of Steel” Teaser Trailer Is With Us

July 22, 2012 / Posted by:

And that there is pretty much all the Superman you’re getting in this shit. Here’s the Lana Del Ray (aka “Llama Del Meh” – MK) video-looking teaser for Man of Steel. The clean laundry blowing in the wind, Americana doggies and the lickable Henry Cavill playing Superman working undercover on Wicked Tuna didn’t really give me a geek erection. As a dour friend said – “nothing happens, and then he flies.” But there’s a butterfly!

Fuck Llama Del Meh – it’s Superman climbing The Tree Of Life! Where the fuck is Lex Luthor? Will Amy Adams be spelling “Pulitzer Prize” and “Nobel Prize” over and over while hanging off the Eiffel Tower elevator? Margot Kidder was so fucking good in Superman II. She was such a pointy bitch. She smoked. We need a Lois Lane who smokes. Oh, and Sarah Douglas as Ursa! That ho was hot! “SSSSUUUUPPPEERRRMMAAANNNN!” she called in a mocking, vicious manner as she flipped up the manhole cover and flung it at Supes (6:10). How that doesn’t make the opening reel of Hollywood classics at the Oscars every year I’ll never know.

Er, here they are. Kevin Costner does the voice-over for the first one. There’s an alternate version with Russell Crowe under it. I guess it depends on which voice you want to fap to? They’re both pretty boring.

Seriously, he’s a tuna fisherman?

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