On the left is Lycia Naff as the iconic three-tittied hooker from the original Total Recall, and on the right is Kaitlyn Leeb as the new (and not improved) three-tittied hooker from the PG-13 rated Total Recall remake. Never mind that both trio of chichi balls look more natural than anything on LeAnn Rimes’ chest, the new three-tittied hooker never stood a chance. It’s not because she sort of looks like a humanized version of Sarah Larson. It’s because of one very important, the only important, thing: NIPPLES!
Since the shitafied remake of Total Recall is PG-13, they can’t burn the innocent eyes of 13-year-olds with the image of three rubber nipples on the Triplets of Titville. Why even bother remaking this mess if they’re going to censor the best part? The three-tittied hookers’ three breasts (aka a motorboater’s wonderland) were definitely the first triplet titty balls I’ve ever seen and they might’ve been the first chichis I saw in a movie. It was so shocking to me and it blew my mind as a kid. I can’t with any of this. Why can’t they let the “three times a titty” hooker be great? And I don’t even want to know how they fucked up the fat ginger beauty.