Monday, July 23rd 2012
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For July 20th!
The famous Inflatable Unicorn Horn company sadly went bankrupt after ten-head Rihanna sued them for false advertising. Apparently, one size does NOT fit all. - Wanted
Runners-up:
Sarah Jessica Parker still cringes at her first modeling job. - Spkheller
The model on the box proves the myth is true: only a virgin can tame a unicorn. - Rosemary Young
After choosing to live with her mother, Tom was quick to inform Suri that she is no longer entitled to every toy in his closet. - SteelCityGirl
via PIU
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The 11 words that John Travolta NEVER wants to hear during a massage: Objects In Rear View Mirror May Appear Larger Than They Are
"Finally I can ride Front Saddle" - Tommy Girl
Sarah Jessica Parker still cringes at her first modeling job
Travolta did return later to make a purchase. Seems the double-fisted appeal of adding a new dimension to his wig game, combined with the chance to walk around sporting 11 inches, was too good to pass up.
Archie Smalls: I'm not just a client, I'm the horny president.
This was Mel Gibson's first acting gig. And 45 years later, he's still living the dream!
After choosing to live with her mother, Tom was quick to inform Suri that she is no longer entitled to every toy in his closet.
Finally, something all Dlisters can agree with.
Desperate Star Trek fans during Comic-Con prove easy pickings for Archie McPhee.
We can all have our dreams.
In an unrelated story, Lisa Frank just came.
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
Uni-porn.
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too!
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!
Later, after several injuries and lawsuits due to improper usage, Archie McPhee decides to subtly add, "but have a backup plan" to the packaging.
When a Scientologist asks, "Will you give me a heads-up when you're ready?," it has a special meaning.
David Arquette really has too much free time post Courtney Cox.
One size may fit all, but it wasn't enough to make Travolta cum.
"Daddy just needs it for a few more minutes, Suri "(distantly, behind closed door).
Brought to you by Scientology, Inc.
Thoroughly tested and approved!
Oh, me so horny? (Sorry.)
The inflatable horn lost its air as soon as the pony turned 33.
The inflatable horn was all fun and games until Archie found out that unicorns also come with a lubed fist of love.
"Hey, Katie, look, I am finally feeling horny." Tom Cruise's last words before Katie filed for divorce.
Is there no end to the products that Sarah Jessica and Matthew will endorse?
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
11 inches? That's what *she* said.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Caution: Objects in this picture are gayer than they appear.
Finally an answer to the question: What are they gonna do with those Edward Cullen specials when this Twilight fad dies?
there's no "don't insert into anus" warning on the box this time.
One size fits all.*
*Not intended for use on the chin. We're looking at you, Bristol, Jay, and Tater.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Oh! So that's why Katie Holmes cut Suri off from the play room! All that child's daddy does is buy toys that can double as butt plugs, I swear.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
The famous Inflatable Unicorn Horn company sadly went bankrupt after ten-head Rihanna sued them for false advertising. Apparently, one size does NOT fit all.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
And just like that, Archie McPhee became one of the top leaders of Scientology.
The model on the box proves the myth is true: only a virgin can tame a unicorn.
I ASSUME MILEY WANTS ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY AGAIN....
Having no political aspirations of his own, George W. Bush's bastard love child dabbles into the world of erotic toy making.
well my Christmas gift list is complete -
Khloe Kardassian and Steve Buscemi both dispute the "one size fits all" claim.
Ryan Gosling also insists that his new movie, The Ass-tour, isn't about Scientology, either.
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
The newest Chik-Fil-A anti-gay ad campaign "Eat mor Unicornz' has really gone too far.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
You just KNOW he won't be wearing it on his head!
"I can't tell you how many times I've heard 'But the box says "One Size Fits All"' tonight. These fuckers need Anatomy 101 more than we ever did.". -- EVERY ER DOCTOR
They went out of business for leaving off the "Not to be used as a floatation device" and too many of their customers drowned.
Uh, exactly what is he doing with his hands?
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
The My Little Pony fanbase loved these, but protested the manufacturer for false advertising when five members wound up in the ER within days of its release.
One wonders just what "Live the Dream" refers to here.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
"I loved it so much...I bought the company!" - Tom Cruise
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
The only way Anderson Cooper can have sex?
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Has TRAVOLTA found out about it?
It makes sense that Tom would turn from women - and towards another creature whose horn and its use have long been questionable.
Love Archie McPhee!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light