Antonio & Melanie Aren't Getting A Divorce, So Says People
Depending on who you ask, Melanie Griffith is either throwing a "Pendejo, wipe the skank stank from your chorizo, because I can smell it here from here!" side-eye at Antonio or she's making a "No, I'm not throwing a side-eye at Antonio, I just made the mistake of Botoxing my eyeballs because they looked wrinkly and now they're stuck like this for a while" face.
Radar says that Antonio Banderas is thisclose to biting on a black rose, arching his back and salsa walking directly to a divorce lawyer's office. A source says that Antonio and Melanie's 15 year marriage is about to crumble into a pile of dusty memories and they've been in counseling to try to save it. There's been rumors that Antonio's wandering peen is the reason for all their problems, but the source says that their problems started a long time ago. The source went on to say this shit:
“Melanie is absolutely distraught. This was her fairytale and it’s falling apart. They’ve been through rough spots before, so there’s always hope that they’ll get it together and fix this, but right now that is definitely not looking like that is the case. There’s still a lot of love there though, that’s for sure.
It’s not a case of them hating each other but it’s a very hard time for everyone right now. No one really wants to accept that it’s happening, that’s why they’re still keeping it all under wraps."
But wait! A difference source (aka Melanie and Antonio's rep calling from a pay phone while wearing a disguise) tells People that Melanie and Antonio are fine and their marriage is not dying like most of the feeling in her face. Antonio is just in Hungary shooting a movie and they'll be together again soon. "They're really happy, they're fine and blah barf blah," said that source.
Usually, when a source tells People that everything is heart-shaped, rose-scented queefs and that Antonio is not dicking every trick in a 4-mile radius, it's not a good sign for a marriage. That could just be a PR fart in your eyes. If it is, then hopefully Melanie Griffith will pull herself together, take the Staten Island ferry to Manhattan and start her new life as a serious business woman. Leeeeeeeeeeet the river ruuuuuuuun!
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These marriages tend to collapse for the fact that no one is pretty much interested in castIng them anymore.
The divorce rate is sky high IN THIS ECONOMY from what an acccountant buddy told me. Especially amoung those couples where the wife's usual shopping spree used to be three or four thousand dollars a pop.
THIS IS NEWS! FINALLY AN UPDATE ON THESE TWO! THAT BATMAN SHIT HAS BEEN CLOGGING UP THE AIRWAYS!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Scary thought: That's the POST-surgery face & neck she's rockin'. Egads.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Antonio could never divorce Mel because he knows she would go completely batshit crazy if he did. She's barely hanging on as it is. From what I hear (and we know I have an inside track right. lol) anyway from what I hear she is one of those insanely insecure women he has to pander to 24/7 so she doesn't melt down on him and "commit suicide 9 time in one day" to get his attention.
Her face has been punch by ever plastic surgeon known to man and apparently some NOT known to man from the looks of thing so he's stuck with this nutbar and will continue to fuck whoever he has to.
i don't care about these hasbeens.
ALTHOUGH SHE'S ONLY 3 YEARS OLDER THAN HIM, SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD BE HIS MOTHER. AND IM SURE ANTONIO'S MOTHER LOOKS EVEN BETTER... TALENTLESS HAG, CRAZY BITCH, POSTER WOMAN FOR BOTCHED SURGERY. ANTONIO CAN DO BETTER AND HE WILL....
Why does he have that haircut? They are remaking "Spartacus"?
I HOPE THEY FINALLY WILL....
I'm sure these two are the answer to any number of blind items, but I do not care to Google, alas.
Antonio is HOT though, and yes, I WOULD HIT IT.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Maybe I'm wrong, but didn't he leave his last wife for Melanie? If that's true, then what did she expect? That's like saying Eddie Cibrian will stay faithful to LeAnn.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Melanie suffers from a lethal combo of drugs+booze+cigs+bad plastic surgery, (with a smidge of the crazy).
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I'm sick of that stupid haircut Antonio has been rocking for years. Melanie looks like an old hooker.
I'd like to think that that's not a good pic, and her eyes don't normally look like that. I'm doubtful, however.
it's only been 15 years? feels like 30. they certainly look like they've aged that much...
Speaking of tragedies, Melanie Griffith's face.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
AntoniO could still get it.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
I couldn't give any less fucks about these two's marriage. They both cheated on their spouses and left them for each other. Dry them tears Melanie! If he'll cheat with you he'll cheat on you. FACT.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Wow. Neither of them has aged well.