PBS Is Prejudiced Against Adult Theater Fappers
It's the Pee-wee Herman mess all over again. We obviously haven't grown as a society since 1991, because it's still an issue when a more than grown ass man leaves his fap juices on the crusty velvet seat of an adult porn theater. After 72-year-old Fred Willard was arrested last night for trying to squeeze out some party leche while watching porn at the Tiki Theater in Hollywood, PBS rubbed him out of their show Market Warriors. Fred was the show's narrator, but not anymore. The NY Times' Arts Beat Blog says that PBS told local affiliates not to air any episodes of Market Warriors until they've replaced Fred's voice with Mark "Not Marky Mark" Walberg who hosts Antiques Roadshow.
What a bunch of assholes for firing a senior citizen for masturbating in a porn theater. PBS should meet ole' horny Fred at the Tiki Theater tonight, because they need to loosen the hell up by busting one out. This is a non-issue. Everybody faps! (That should be the adult follow-up to Everybody Poops.) PBS is really acting like Oscar the Grouch hasn't rolled his trash can over to the next town's Muppet-only adult theater to temporarily fap his grouchiness away.
And in other Fred freeing his willy news, his lawyer tells TMZ that he is completely innocent of the lewd conduct charge: "With all due respect to the individual officer, our belief is that Fred did nothing in any violation of any law."
With all due to respect to Fred Willard, we all know he was whacking off in that theater. But that's what an adult theater is for. It's for old dudes who are scared of the Internet and want to jack off old-school style. This is why there should be a free class at the Learning Annex on how to turn your personal laptop into a one-stop fap place. Fred's mind (and other parts) will be blow when he discovers Internet porn. Fred no longer has to run up to the projection room to tell the dude to speed up the film to the money shot, because he's got a Bunko game in 20 minutes.
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Oh come on! Am I the only person on here who knows this is an obvious publicity stunt for his role in "Yank"? I can't with this! Seriously.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:50pm.
Good movie. But I don't even remember him in it.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:47pm.
I don't even know who this guy is. Meh.
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Oh doggie dear, haven't you seen BEST IN SHOW?
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"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin
Since he has a sense of humor I hope he turns this thing into major coin and tells PBS, "Fuck yo fundraising drives!". He should totally do a Funny or Die with Paul Rubens by the Fall.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
I don't even know who this guy is. Meh.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Fuck you, PBS. I bet they'd kiss Roman Polanski's ass.
TEAM FRED!
It's not like he's the pervy principal from Ferris Bueller. I have a hard time watching Amadeus because of him.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
PBS is living in fear of losing federal funding. That's mostly what this is about.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:42pm.
that'll teach him... i bet he never does that horrific deed again!
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LOLL, I stilllll don't understand who the hell snitched on him??? Was the PBS exec/board/co-worker(s) there too? The milk is crusty and ain't clean.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
@psl
I know how you feel...I coulda gone my whole life without knowing his personal shit. But its too late now...
Sis-boom-ba! Team fapper! Ra-ra-rah!
It turns out, to get the job, he told PBS he was gay, and when they found out he was spanking to some man-on-woman action, they felt betrayed.
Those socialist scolds at PBS are so arbitrarily puritanical.
that'll teach him... i bet he never does that horrific deed again!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I watched Market Warriors the other night and it was pretty meh without Fred Willard's commentary. Oh well. Next time he should do some single handed internet porn surfing at home like everyone else.
who goes to the theater for porn anymore?? doesn't he know about the internetz and what we do here?
*looks around the room, switches back to other tab*
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
I am still going to pretend this never happened.
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Oh, when I try to love
I can save the same man in the same bed, in the same city
But not in the same room, it's a pity
*reads nella's post*
oh fuck thats funny...fred fapper...
TEAM FAP!
So much for being presumed innocent until proven guilty.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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PBS jumped the shark awhile ago. They are chicken shits with no moral compass or courage. Stick a dick in it PBS! Poor Fred. Victimless crimes are a waste of police time.
HE WAS IN A GODDAMN ADULT THEATER FOR DAMNS SAKE! IF YOU CAN'T FAP THERE WHERE THE HELL CAN YOU?!!?! CHRIMINY FKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Team "let the man fap". Isn't that proper etiquette in a porn theater?
He's a fucking NARRATOR!
PBS is a bunch of uptight wankers. Go back to knitting toilet seat covers and waiting for the next donation drive.
Team Fred "Fapper" Willard.
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"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin