PBS Is Prejudiced Against Adult Theater Fappers
It's the Pee-wee Herman mess all over again. We obviously haven't grown as a society since 1991, because it's still an issue when a more than grown ass man leaves his fap juices on the crusty velvet seat of an adult porn theater. After 72-year-old Fred Willard was arrested last night for trying to squeeze out some party leche while watching porn at the Tiki Theater in Hollywood, PBS rubbed him out of their show Market Warriors. Fred was the show's narrator, but not anymore. The NY Times' Arts Beat Blog says that PBS told local affiliates not to air any episodes of Market Warriors until they've replaced Fred's voice with Mark "Not Marky Mark" Walberg who hosts Antiques Roadshow.
What a bunch of assholes for firing a senior citizen for masturbating in a porn theater. PBS should meet ole' horny Fred at the Tiki Theater tonight, because they need to loosen the hell up by busting one out. This is a non-issue. Everybody faps! (That should be the adult follow-up to Everybody Poops.) PBS is really acting like Oscar the Grouch hasn't rolled his trash can over to the next town's Muppet-only adult theater to temporarily fap his grouchiness away.
And in other Fred freeing his willy news, his lawyer tells TMZ that he is completely innocent of the lewd conduct charge: "With all due respect to the individual officer, our belief is that Fred did nothing in any violation of any law."
With all due to respect to Fred Willard, we all know he was whacking off in that theater. But that's what an adult theater is for. It's for old dudes who are scared of the Internet and want to jack off old-school style. This is why there should be a free class at the Learning Annex on how to turn your personal laptop into a one-stop fap place. Fred's mind (and other parts) will be blow when he discovers Internet porn. Fred no longer has to run up to the projection room to tell the dude to speed up the film to the money shot, because he's got a Bunko game in 20 minutes.
• 
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:37pm.
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:20pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:16pm.
Stay in the doghouse Whamo, it's safer in there. I'll join you and bring the beer.
-------
Pizza, and some whiskey, you know to wash all that beer down with
========================
fair enough, good call Spider:) I might as well just say sorry now because whiskey makes me do stupid things sometimes lol!!!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:42pm.
I'd hate for such a stellar career to be defined by this stupid but harmless unfortunate incident.
------
JFC if this goes the way of PeeWee I'll be LIVID. He was in an adult theater watching a porn movie. ARG!!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:48pm.
------------------------------------------------
Judging by the reaction around the interwebs I think he might just pull it off (sorry I had to)
People seem to have this "ok while embarrassing WTF who cares he's not hurting anyone" attitude which is nice to see.
I'd hate for such a stellar career to be defined by this stupid but harmless unfortunate incident.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:37pm.
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:20pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:16pm.
Stay in the doghouse Whamo, it's safer in there. I'll join you and bring the beer.
================================================
OK then, It's a nice dog house actually, I've been in there enough so I built an addition complete with a couch, big screen TV, and seating for 7 or 8 people (aka assholes ) so thank you for the beer have a seat and can I get you anything while I'm up?
-------
Pizza, and some whiskey, you know to wash all that beer down with.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:20pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:16pm.
Stay in the doghouse Whamo, it's safer in there. I'll join you and bring the beer.
================================================
OK then, It's a nice dog house actually, I've been in there enough so I built an addition complete with a couch, big screen TV, and seating for 7 or 8 people (aka assholes ) so thank you for the beer have a seat and can I get you anything while I'm up?
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:44pm.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:43pm.
i've rubbed out several over the years watching pbs masterpiece theater. all those hot chicks in 18th and 19th century frocks with little waists and creamy, full bosoms on display. and how they act like they don't want it and then given in at the end.
______________________________________________
Charlie, did you catch any of the ladies of Downton Abbey? You know prim and proper Lady Mary is a hellion in the sheets...
_______________________
oh, yeah. but the one who was especially hot to me was lady sybil. she had all that hot dark haired, mysteriousness, englishness going on.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:25pm.
"Well anyway, dude just needs to visit a more private masturbatorium. If I can still flog the old fella when I am in my 70s, I guess I won't be doing too bad."
---------
No doubt on the age thing, good for him I say...I'm thinking maybe he just has a fetish about doing it in public, you know? I'm sure he must know about the internet by now?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:06pm.
A Mighty Wind is really fun, too.
"Thank God for the model trains, you know? If they didn't have the model trains they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains."
================================================
seriously, how funny is that!! lol!!!!
I worked some bills with a few Folkies, you know - "Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him!" I used to say "If he's got a long enough hose, he's gonna have a lot of friends in the shower room." Folk audiences hated that joke.
I visited one of these sex stores that had different departments, like a home depot of chicken choking. In on room they had these little wanking booths with curtains where one can put money in and see a video loop, or maybe a live stripper. There was a mop and bucket prominently by the wall, and the place smelled of tons of disinfectant. Some lucky bastard makes a living mopping the spoo out of the wanking booths.
I was a bit more disturbed to see them selling little single use KY tubes by the door to the wanking area. And then in the glass case full of dildos, I noticed a life-sized rubber fist with about half a forearm on it. I wasn't expecting that, so got a little queasy (I was a young pup at the time).
Well anyway, dude just needs to visit a more private masturbatorium. If I can still flog the old fella when I am in my 70s, I guess I won't be doing too bad.
PS--this motherfucking spell fixer changes all my words and I have to re-write every post. Don't know if its safari, the web site, or my mac, but I'm gonna find the off button.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:16pm.
Stay in the doghouse Whamo, it's safer in there. I'll join you and bring the beer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
And another thing. It barely needs saying, but I will: It's not like he was at the Quad Cinema during a screening of "Madagascar 3".
I can't give a fuck. And I didn't when PeeWee Herman was caught, either.
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:06pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:50pm.
TEAM BIG AND LITTLE FRED!
-----
Ditto, the LAPD seriously had nothing better to do? Fuck PBS.
----------------------------------------------
yup, I'd fuck PBS but I might get arrested!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:04pm
Sooo..am I out of your dog house or shall I stay fucked off? :P
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 8:04pm.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_surgery_(female-to-male)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
A Mighty Wind is really fun, too.
"Thank God for the model trains, you know? If they didn't have the model trains they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains."
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:50pm.
TEAM BIG AND LITTLE FRED!
-----
Ditto, the LAPD seriously had nothing better to do? Fuck PBS.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
This is a stupid question but could someone answer it: If a girl wants to be a guy, they have their boobs surgicaly removed. I get that part. What about the peen? Can they make a fake one? Inquiring minds want to know. Thanks.
Spinal Tap was the best IMO
Best is show was brilliant as well though. I loved how all the guys kept running into Catherine O'Hara and talking about how wild and of a fuck she was. lol! Watching Eugene Levy's reaction to all the stories was so hilarious!
that is a really good point Mike. the Republicans currently have yet another bill that includes taking funding away from PBS and NPR and Planned Parenthood.
'
Submitted by mike on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:57pm.
PBS is living in fear of losing federal funding. That's mostly what this is about.
'
===============
"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
TEAM BIG AND LITTLE FRED!
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:43pm.
I don't think it's even half as funny as Spinal Tap.
FREE FRED'S WILLIE
Dog, how have you never seen Best In Show?!?!?
Change your username!!
Fred was not having a wank but mearly went to the theater to get massive amounts of free world wide publicity for his new movie "Yank"
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:43pm.
i've rubbed out several over the years watching pbs masterpiece theater. all those hot chicks in 18th and 19th century frocks with little waists and creamy, full bosoms on display. and how they act like they don't want it and then given in at the end.
______________________________________________
Charlie, did you catch any of the ladies of Downton Abbey? You know prim and proper Lady Mary is a hellion in the sheets...
_______________________________________________
It's PHELPS time!
Best in Show is the best Christopher Guest movie, IMO....but they're all hilarious. Ever see Spinal Tap? OMG that's some funny shit.
_______________________________________________
It's PHELPS time!
i've rubbed out several over the years watching pbs masterpiece theater. all those hot chicks in 18th and 19th century frocks with little waists and creamy, full bosoms on display. and how they act like they don't want it and then given in at the end. and you just know what happens. it is better than porn. porn is boring. landwhale and i have been watching masterpiece classics for years. and when i know the good parts are coming up, i go get her some ice cream so she is distracted. but i think she knows.
TEAM FRED and I love Best in Show, too.
"We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about."
"Bratwurst and shillelaghs... paging Dr. Freud."
I love Best in Show, too. "Busy Bee. BUSY BEE!!!" Felt so sorry for that Weimaraner...
Team Fred.
And Dog, you HAVE to see "Best In Show". It's one of the movies I never get tired of watching, and will whenever I can, no matter if it's the last two minutes. SO FUNNY.
In a year or so there will be a documentary on Fred's peen. It will be the life and times saga covering the ups and downs of a man's penis, through its hard times and unfortunately not so hard times finishing in the climax that was the Tiki theater, a gripping tale to be sure!
Submitted by C6 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:24pm.
OMG YES! I need that movie in my life right now.
And you're cooking too, oh my! ♥
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:47pm.
I don't even know who this guy is. Meh.
------------------------------------
Doggie you HAVE to see Best in Show! It's a fake documentary about the Westminister dog show (not sure the real name of show) the people and characters that bring their dogs to it. It's basically improvised from start to finish and it's an absolutely classic satirical send up. I really think you'd like it!
{{{LS}}}}
LET'S WATCH "IMMORTAL BELOVED" (or some other Oldman film)!
*fires up dvd; begins bbq chicken/mash potatoes dinner; passes glass of vino to you
____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
I SEE YOU DOWN THERE {{{CAPPY}}} ♥ ♥
LET FRED WILLARD'S PENIS BE GREAT!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
PBS needs to listen to the J-Roc...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urZukvTwvfQ
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 7:07pm.
do you expect guys to do in a porn theater, floss their teefs?
______
And rinse with what??! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE??*vomits
____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
LOL. read that description on TMZ of him having his pants down and his lawyer saying there is an explanation.
immediately went back to my dad long ago who used to periodically pull his pants down a bit to tuck his shirt in.
do i get my detective la toya hat?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light
I can't believe there are still porn movie theaters. How can they make enough $$ with free porn online? I mean, Netflix's (and others') streaming movies put a hurtin' on Blockbuster a while ago, but porn theaters are still around? smh
And anyway, what do you expect guys to do in a porn theater, floss their teefs?
And I like Fred Willard - good for him that he can still rub one out at the age of 72! No crime here.
I do not want my ears raped by a perverted self-toucher while I'm trying to fall asleep watching PBS!
Fuck the police. Senior fapping harms no one.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:59pm.
Fred should write a letter to PBS
-------------------------------------
i'm sure he will... when his hands are free.
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Fred should write a letter to PBS and tell them to suck his dick.
On letterhead, of course.
________________________________
"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin
Submitted by lilywhiteclass on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:56pm.
I'm also pissed at the cops who busted him for this.
****
Probably had to justify their "extended" lunch break.
----
"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
LMAO @ "With all due to respect to Fred Willard, we all know he was whacking off in that theater."
The lawyer didn't deny that Fred had little Willie out; he said that Fred wasn't in violation of any law.
I'm Team Fred, too. PBS can kiss my lily white class.
I honestly feel sorry for this guy. So he went to a porno cinema to get off, so WHAT? I'm also pissed at the cops who busted him for this.
Fappin' Freddy fingered his flute, then found himself fined and fired. "Fuck your fundraising!" flapped Fred.
It's nice to see that violent crime has been eradicated and that there is no matter more pressing than arresting 100 year old for wanking off in a wanking theatre.
Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:52pm.
Oh come on! Am I the only person on here who knows this is an obvious publicity stunt for his role in "Yank"? I can't with this! Seriously.
-----------------------------------------
and the many sequels to... uuh... err... come!... heeheehee!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
It was an adult theater, you uptight PBS assholes!
Not like he was fapping at Disneyland.