Here’s NKOTB giving us 5 flavors of stache in a picture that looks like it was taken during a Freddie Mercury look-alike contest at the local bathhouse. Joey looks like a 70s gay porn star who mostly plays a cop. Jonathan looks like an emotionally tortured German poet from the 1940s (or Adrien Brody after a nose job). Jordan looks like a cockatoo twink trying to butch up his look. Donnie looks like a cocky dom top who is getting ready to double fist a trick. And Danny looks like he’s about to fuck you up if you don’t give him his money.
Since I’m a Brodysexual, I’ll say that Jonathan won this stache battle.