It’s The 2012 Emmy Nominations (Alternate Title: My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding Was ROBBED!)
When the Emmy nominations are announced every year, I already know that my face is going to fall into a puddle of cold disappointment, but only because 80% of the TV stuff I put my eyeballs on is made of one hundred percent shit and the only way they’d get any nominations is if the Emmy hos decided to do things differently by nominating the absolute worst. But this year, there are a few noms I’m happy about. YAAASSS at Zoey from Nurse Jackie! YAAASSS at Jessica Lange from American Horror Story! YAAASSS at Veep! YAAASS at Uma Thurman from Smash! I’m only YAAASSSing at the last one, because Uma was so damn terrible that she was kind of brilliant. Give her all the Emmys.
The list of who I think should file a police report for getting ROBBED is way too long to list. I mean, where’s a nomination for Madeline Stowe’s portrayal of an ice cube with a stick permanently shoved up its ice cold ass on Revenge? Where is the nomination for who ever’s responsible for the high budget production values on Ringer? Where the hell is RuPaul’s nomination? May every wig fall off of its owner’s head on Emmy night as punishment for telling Ru to sashay away.
But you know, it could be worst. At least the Emmys kept it Kuntrashian-free. That’s always the bright side of any situation that a Kuntrashian hasn’t shoved herself into. The nom list for the main categories is after the jump, but click here if you want to see the full list. JUMP!
COMEDY SERIES
The Big Bang Theory
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Girls
Modern Family
30 Rock
Veep
COMEDY ACTOR
Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory
Larry David as Himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm
Don Cheadle as Marty Kaan in House of Lies
Louis C.K. as Louie in Louie
Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy in 30 Rock
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper in Two and a Half Men
COMEDY ACTRESS
Lena Dunham as Hannah Horvath in Girls
Melissa McCarthy as Molly Flynn in Mike & Molly
Zooey Deschanel as Jess Day in New Girl
Edie Falco as Jackie Peyton in Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation
Tina Fey as Liz Lemon in 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer in Veep
SUPPORTING COMEDY ACTOR
Ed O’Neill as Jay Pritchett in Modern Family
Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family
Ty Burrell as Phil Dunphy in Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet as Cameron Tucker in Modern Family
Max Greenfield as Schmidt in New Girl
Bill Hader as various characters in Saturday Night Live
SUPPORTING COMEDY ACTRESS
Mayim Bialik as Amy Farrah Fowler in The Big Bang Theory
Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey in Desperate Housewives
Julie Bowen as Claire Dunphy in Modern Family
Sofia Vergara as Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family
Merritt Wever as Zoey Barkow in Nurse Jackie
Kristen Wiig as various characters in Saturday Night Live
DRAMA SERIES
Boardwalk Empire
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Homeland
Mad Men
DRAMA ACTRESS
Glenn Close as Patty Hewes in Damages
Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary Crawley in Downton Abbey
Julianna Margulies as Alicia Florrick in The Good Wife
Kathy Bates as Harriet Korn in Harry’s Law
Claire Danes as Carrie Mathison in Homeland
Elisabeth Moss as Peggy Olson in Mad Men
DRAMA ACTOR
Steve Buscemi as Nucky Thompson in Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston as Walter White in Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan in Dexter
Hugh Bonneville as Robert, Earl of Grantham in Downton Abbey
Damian Lewis as Nicholas Brody in Homeland
Jon Hamm as Don Draper in Mad Men
SUPPORTING DRAMA ACTRESS
Anna Gunn as Skyler White in Breaking Bad
Maggie Smith as Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham in Downton Abbey
Joanne Froggatt as Anna in Downton Abbey
Archie Panjabi as Kalinda Sharma in The Good Wife
Christine Baranski as Diane Lockhart in The Good Wife
Christina Hendricks as Joan Holloway Harris in Mad Men
SUPPORTING DRAMA ACTOR
Aaron Paul as Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad
Giancarlo Esposito as Gustavo ‘Gus’ Fring Breaking Bad
Brendan Coyle as John Bates in Downton Abbey
Jim Carter as Mr. Carson in Downton Abbey
Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones
Jared Harris as Lane Pryce Mad Men
DIRECTOR, DRAMA SERIES
Tim Van Patten, Boardwalk Empire
Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad
Brian Percival, Downton Abbey
Michael Cuesta, Homeland
Phil Abraham, Mad Men
MINISERIES OR MOVIE
American Horror Story
Game Change
Hatfields & McCoys
Hemingway & Gellhorn
Luther
Sherlock
MINISERIES OR MOVIE ACTRESS
Connie Britton as Vivien Harmon, American Horror Story
Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin, Game Change
Nicole Kidman as Martha Gellhorn, Hemingway & Gellhorn
Ashley Judd as Rebecca Winstone, Missing
Emma Thompson as She, The Song of Lunch
MINISERIES OR MOVIE ACTOR
Woody Harrelson as Steve Schmidt, Game Change
Kevin Costner as ‘Devil’ Anse Hatfield, Hatfields & McCoys
Bill Paxton as Randall McCoy, Hatfields & McCoys
Clive Owen as Ernest Hemingway, Hemingway & Gellhorn
Idris Elba as John Luther, Luther
Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock
VARIETY SERIES
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
REALITY PROGRAM
Antiques Roadshow
Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution
MythBusters
Shark Tank
Undercover Boss
Who Do You Think You Are?
REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
The Amazing Race
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef
The Voice
HOST FOR A REALITY OR REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
Betty White, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers
Tom Bergeron, Dancing With The Stars
Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance