....The Hell Kind Of 69 Position Is This?
A few minutes ago, if you told me that you had a picture of Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender 69ing in W Magazine, I'd prepare for the fapocalypse by sending my dog to the boarders before ordering tubs of lube, replacing my bed sheets with plastic tarps and telling my neighbors that they should either somehow catch a cold that stuffs up their noses or they should go ahead and visit their parents upstate. Well, here's the picture and.......huuuuuuuuuuuuh?!
Why are they fully dressed? Like they're fully FULLY dressed. They're even wearing shoes! Why does Charlize's eyes look like they just made out with Taylor Momsen's raccoon eyes? Why does it look like there's a Kindle hanging from Charlize's crotch and Michael Assbender is catching up on some reading? Why is Charlize pointing her open mouth away from Michael Assbender's crotch? When your mouth is open and Michael Assbender's peen is within beej distance, your natural instinct should be to introduce your tonsils to his peen head. That fake fire in the background must be letting out some toxic fumes that are making both of them hazy in the brains. That's the only explanation.
But the rest of the pictures are much more faptastic (especially this one which I'm turning into ceiling paper) and have convinced me that Charlize and Assbender need to star in 50 Shades of Grey together and that the 50 Shades of Grey movie needs to take place in Freddy Krueger's nightmare lair. That's where they are, right?
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Michael is such a Mo and Charlize is such a Lez, but I appreciate the fantastical effort of W magazine.
Submitted by Juniperjump on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 6:28am.
Oh come on - these are hot. Love the one where he's grabbing her arm
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^Oh yes.
I wonder why Theron had to be shopped to hell and back, not like she'd look like horrible without.
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2 for the price of 3!
Oh come on - these are hot. Love the one where he's grabbing her arm.
yawn... boring....arty farty high fasshuuuunn shit.
its something tyra banks would have made 2 clothes hangers (i mean models) do on some shoot, hanging from the world's tallest building, whilst a water cannon blasts them, and they each gotta carry an animal, a hand bag, payless shoes, and pretend they are fairy alien goddesses from egpyt.
I love Charlize just like everyone here, but the photoshop fuckery is a boner-killer. Fassbender needs it because he's damn ugly and the artists had to reduce the length of his 9-head otherwise it would've taken half of the shot, but sweet beautiful Charlize could've done without it.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
They've accomplished the impossible: making a Charlize Theron - Michael Fassbender sex pose look anything other than blazingly erotic.
Team No 69. It's too awkward for me. Although the BF likes it....so I'm happy to oblige ;)
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It's PHELPS time!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 5:26pm.
et tu, IV???
and you think you know a slut...
*mopes off to the disgusting 69ers lunch table*
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Giggle. I don't think IF is a fan of it either, if I recollect rightly.
*simpers to dainty lady lunch table*
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Really HOT
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Is that really Charlize??? Doesn't look one bit like her :S
Whoa. Her face is Photoshopped way beyond necessity. Still.. pretty hot. Needs less clothing. I'd buy it!
These two obviously have very vigorous sex off screen! I'm jelly.
Who is that chick? And why is she trying to 69 with her ankles crossed?? DEPRESSING. :(
Cover...fairly hot. Thumb 1...getting warmer. After that...you lost me.
lol chewinsmoke! Luckily I'm a slut too, so I understand. ;)
sexy should not be so forced...cause then it's no longer sexy
too over done, too photoshopped hdr..unless, is this suppose to look like robots from the future?
that would mean a feigned attraction, no baths and a dark and gloomy post war dirty look to everything, and THAT they hit spot on.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
I'm getting a headache trying to figure out what's going on in these pics. What a pity - to take two of the world's most beautiful people and render them unrecognizable.
Yeah, Charlize has definitely got the hots for Fassy. Anyone see the interviews they did together promoting Prometheus? Charlize can barely contain herself. Shameless hussy.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 5:31pm.
Lol Jack, such a wicked lil slut you are! ;-)
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 5:29pm.
LOL... not only do I want her ass in my face I wanna... ahnevermind
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 5:26pm.
et tu, IV???
and you think you know a slut...
*mopes off to the disgusting 69ers lunch table*
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/shoves Jack over and sits down.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
et tu, IV???
and you think you know a slut...
*mopes off to the disgusting 69ers lunch table*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 4:37pm.
Do people actually enjoy 69? I don't want anyone's asshole in my face.
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We discussed this here not long ago. Several peeps were of the opinion that they did not want dangling bits or an asshole in their face. And that it was too hard to pay attention to what you're doing AND what the other person is doing to you. A lot of non-69-fans here, me included.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
what movie did they do together? and when?
i don't like this photo spread. seems like everyone involved was trying to be so edgy, and instead they just made crap. -tho i also admit for some reason /not sure why/ Charlize has always irritated me. something about her combo perky/tough communication style in interviews.
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
Michael K, again you are BRILLIANT! I was thinking the same thing you were about 50 Shades of Grey, except they are too old for the characters.
That photo shoot is crazy and I have NO IDEA who's clothes they are modeling, but obviously Charlize has had a taste of the Fassbender family jewels and she like it.
A lot!
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 4:37pm.
Do people actually enjoy 69? I don't want anyone's asshole in my face.
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My goodness... It appears as though you have had a less than pleasant experience. Let me show the way, grasshopper.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
ubmitted by M.E. on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 2:14pm.
Isn't W Magazine the one Brad and Angie did the whole husband and wife/family photo shoot right after he split from JA?
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Yep. The loonies bought all the copies, stuck them on their walls, and lick them daily. W should be so proud.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 4:37pm.
Do people actually enjoy 69? I don't want anyone's asshole in my face.
^^^^^^^^
Lol. I kinda have to agree. Plus it gets me distracted-- am I supposed to think about myself, or them, or both? What if I come first and can't finish them? It's a lot of work.
Don't like these pics and have never like Charlize Theron. She is too pretentious and bitchy.
She has been trying to get Fassbender's cock ever since the movie Shame. She has even made comments about it.
Wonder what his girlfriend thinks.
PLUS, he looks better in clothes. I'm sorry, but men should not be that skinny. I should not be able to play an xylophone on a guy's ribs. Just gross!
My panties are not getting the hot-and-steamies I thought they would when I saw these. In fact, he seems....well...rather "queer" to me. Like, he is not about the vagina at all.
Just sayin.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 4:37pm.
Do people actually enjoy 69? I don't want anyone's asshole in my face.
I do! *SLUUUUUUUURRRRPPPPP*
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My Lover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
Do people actually enjoy 69? I don't want anyone's asshole in my face.
Submitted by idiots drive me loco: "Hekki--Erika Jong for the MF'ing Win"
Right? Fuck that 50 shades pablum. Although the Erica Jong ref makes me feel OLD.
Gael Greene's "Blue Skies No Candy" was some hot shit, very similar to "Fear of Flying". Good times.
69 makes me vommy.
Next...
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Dark-sided!
I haven't seen Prometheus, but if this is the art that W comes up with for a photoshopped to hell promo...dunno if I want to. Charlize is gorgeous and this looks nothing like her.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Hekki--Erika Jong for the MF'ing Win
Holy hell, who on earth would not want to a part of that hotness?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Meh.
Submitted by Dannii on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 2:48pm.
Lmao! You brought that avie back! *apologizes for misspelling your user name yesterday*
The first one is hot, I guess. Otherwise fug.
But the rest of the pictures are much more faptastic (especially this one which I'm turning into ceiling paper) and have convinced me that Charlize and Assbender need to star in 50 Shades of Grey together
Ugh, not you too Michael K.
needs less clothes and more cowbell
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
WOW
I haven't purchased a magazine years, but that's about to change.
hot!
Maybe this is a form of therapy for Charlize after her "rich people can rape too" experience.
She is taking back her power in a rich people can be freaky too way.
Straight-For-Pay obviously.
Love that V cut on guys *suck on ice cube*
This all looks a bit too post-apocalyptic for my taste, like Mad Max sex.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 2:48pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 2:40pm
they didn't need to. the photo of Leslie Howard and Olivia DeHav riding Hattie McDaniel bareback was sufficient.
Mmmmmmmm Hattie!
Charlize v Noomi = Win for Noomi OF COURSE!
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My Lover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
I don't know/care about this Fassbender person and Charlize looks nothing like herself, so meh.
Jesus Christ... Michael Fassbender. I WOULD. OVER AND OVER.
Oh, I thought this photo was from the new season of Top Model...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 2:40pm
they didn't need to. the photo of Leslie Howard and Olivia DeHav riding Hattie McDaniel bareback was sufficient.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
This would never work. he can't have a stiffie if all the blood's rushing to his head.
just sayin'
i ♥ Fassie though. I. SO. WOULD.
Where's her whip?
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 2:20pm.
.
Charlize has the kind of body men crave and women want. It is long and lean like a feline. purrrr
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Long and lean and not too far in between LOL