Here are some highly important, very detailed and not-at-all blurry pictures of Little Lord Tommy struttin’ his ass in front of the paps for the first time since Katie Holmes won the first battle against him by getting primary custody of Suri. These pictures are important (not really), because after days upon days of suffering by being forced to walk on the hot, gross, hard sidewalk, Suri is finally back in the arms of her own personal donkey chariot. Katie really makes Suri walk too much on her own. It’s unnatural! Walking is hard. Traveling via Tommy Donkey really is the way to go as long as Suri wears a tin foil bonnet so Tommy’s Thetan whispers don’t penetrate into her brain. Especially after a garbage man (aka Xenu in a green jumpsuit) sideswiped her chauffeured Mercedes last night, Tommy Cab is the safest way to travel.
And I can’t wait to see the pictures of Suri throwing a Veruca Salt-approved “You know I was going to get my way. You should’ve never doubted me.” wink at the cameras as Tommy hands her a Morkie puppy with a bow around its neck.