Justin Bieber Is The New Lindsay Lohan

Gawker points out that not only did Rolling Stone commit a wrong by putting a wife beater on a baby, but they also recycled the “Hot Ready Legal” tagline they used for their 2004 cover of Lindsay Lohan long before coke granules ate her sense of reason and a mixture of meth, bad decisions and fillers bought from the Internet ate her hotness. So that means in a few years, Justin Bieber will get addicted to the bad shit (aka snorting Enfamil powder cut with cat litter), check into one of Montessori’s rehab facilities for junkie toddlers, get a few BWUIs (Big Wheelin’ under the influence), rage scissor with a DJ (I’m thinking Deadmau5) for a couple years, flash his ‘gina for the paps and then he’ll begin his big comeback to the spotlight by playing Sandy Duncan in a biopic on OxyWeTime (yeah, in the future Oxygen, WE and Lifetime will melt into one big fucking estrogen explosion of a network). The cycle will be repeated and we can all thank Rolling Stone for that!

And here’s Justin Bieber at some event in Sydney looking like Anybodys from West Side Story.