Hot Slut Of The Day!

Maggi's's magical and wondrous mashed potato and gravy machine!

America, you disappoint! How is it possible that this watery potato of delicious wonder machine didn't come from you and came from Singapore instead? We're supposed to be the reigning royals of gross gluttony? I can't even look at you right now, America (which is kind of hard to do since I'm inside of you right now)!

This mashed potato vending machine comes from 7-Eleven Singapore and it's been there for a while. You just slip your cup under the spout, press a few buttons and out comes a cup of potato saliva and then the machine gets the runs when it shits out gravy. Instant deliciousness. You know this mess is good, because it probably looks exactly the same when it drips out of your ass later on.

HuffPo says that 7-Eleven has no plans to bring the potato Slurpee machine to the US, but I'm sure they will. And when they do, I'll take back what I said about being disappointed. Because the US version will fit a Big Gulp, have a button for melted cheese, a button for melted cheese, a button for blended bacon, a button for turkey meat pieces, a button for chunks of cranberry pie and a button for whipped cream. We'll be able to slurp up Thanksgiving through a straw. Oh, and there will also be a button to call for a 7-Eleven medic to stop your tortured heart from quitting this bitch so you can keep on slurpin'!

And here's the machine in action. I'm in love.