Suri's Going To Catholic School
So much for my comment about how Suri Cruise has been spared the torture of sitting in a ten hour-long Catholic mass. If The Los Angeles Times is telling the truth, then that whole rumor about how Katie Holmes and Tommy Girl have both agreed to keep religion away from Suri until she gets older is made of lies. Because according to The L.A. Times, Suri will become a Catholic school girl this September when she starts her first day of school at the all-girls Convent of the Sacred Heart in Manhattan. That's the same school Caroline Kennedy, Wonky McValtrex and Lady CaCa went to.
UsWeekly says that tuition is $38,000 a year and Suri will have to go to mass every single Thursday.
Why does Suri have to go to school anyway? Suri already knows how to stomp in heels down a hallway and that's the only valuable lesson you learn at school. Suri already knows everything there is to know about life. Although, sitting in Catholic mass for hours upon days upon weeks upon months upon years upon centuries did force me to learn a very important skill: how to sleep with my eyes open. Make that two very important skills, because I also learned how to roll my eyes on the inside. So there's that.
And you know that by the end of September, Suri will rule that school Regina George-style.
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I hope you guys aren't serious about using a ruler or paddle to get that smug look off of her face. She's a kid!! As far as I know, you all know her from pictures only. How do you know how she behaves in a personal setting without cameras flashing? If cameras were flashing constantly around my boy when he was that age, certainly tantrums would be caught on film.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:25pm.
....
THIS.
I went to Catholic School all my life, I can't afford it for my kids, but raised them with the same beliefs and standards for schoolwork and how you treat others in life.
I never instilled a fear but did instill repercussions for your actions. Whether through God, Grandma, or my chancletta.
I have polite, progressive children who respect others and have a belief that helps them through dark times in life.
However or whatever your belief is that helps you through dark times, I'm all for it.
I never understood people who think their way is the only right way, especially when it comes to religion, or who mock/insult others religious beliefs then wrap it in a "free thinking/higher plane" speech when in fact they are doing the very same thing they claim organized religion does...trying to stuff their beliefs down someones throat.
I know some kids that could use some kind of dam structure in their lives, whether in school or not, and I'm looking at suri thinking this might be good for her because obviously her parents are too screwed up in their crazy to provide that for her.
Remember, the pendulum swings way over into Co$ from Tommy, maybe she'll land somewhere in the middle.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:21pm.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:04pm.
catholic schools have always taken non-catholics - there's no faking required. in fact, at innercity catholic schools 90% of the student body is non catholic. your comment doesn't make any sense, but nice try
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Sounds weird to me, *Bernard*. Have you studied this to come up with such precise numbers? The catholic school that I attended for 12 years and the different ones my extended family attended, *all* required that you be a Catholic or you be a damn good faker.
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In most places in Canada, at least, you do have to be Catholic. I lived in a town with a regular public school and a Catholic public school(which gets additional funding from the church of course), and the ones who misbehaved too many times, got sent over to us. I have to say, they're behaviour WAS very scary.
They seemed to enjoy that we were provided with sex education from grade 8.lol. The Catholic school has NO sex or women's wellness education AT ALL. My Catholic friends were getting with way more people than my non-Catholic ones. Just sayin'.
unemployed_bum, I see what you're saying about Catholic guilt. I was raised Catholic and I often wonder how it has shaped my worldview. There is a sense of God always watching you (and all the sins you might be committing.) Because of original sin, the message is you were evil and screwed-up from the time you were conceived. No wonder I'm so neurotic.
And why can't women be priests already?!
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
I had to attend Catholic Mass thrice weekly in Mexico. I completely understand the meaning of hell. Minutes were hours. Hours were days.
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"That's what you said a week ago in Guadalajara." - Honey West
now Sur will have to wear thosse awful uniforms. Unless they let Vera do one for her.
hope Suri gets the paid lay teachers instead of the mean sisters, who weren't paid squat!
Do they email confessions now; I used to bore the he11 out of the priests on Saturday afternoons. I could spice it up for them now.. ;>
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"Five-card poker on a Saturday night, Church on Sunday morning" - LBT
"Yellers got hydraphoby!!" on Hallmark movie channel instead of ABC news; no thnks Time Warner!
I went to Catholic school and look at me I turned out fine.....ok.....maybe they do need to re-think this....
Those nuns are the ultimate meemaws, they are like super meemaws...i mean we had crazy ass nuns and creepy priests but at least there were no travoltas!
Submitted by BoredSlore on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:41pm.
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:30pm.
The Sister's used to tell us it was 'unnatural' and some crap about Satan using the left hand...dunno, they couldn't break my sister either.
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Oh I got the Satan Spiel. It was all based on the ~left handed people are in their RIGHT MINDS~ kind of thing. Left handers were *free thinkers* so couldn't be brainwashed as easily.
I lucked out and got a *Secret Sister* who was left handed, even though no one knew. I never learned how to write right handed... but I DID learn how to write upside down and backwards left handed. So, I would turn in work like that.
Possessed girls get kicked outta Catholic skul.
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They did that to one of my sisters in a non Catholic school. The logic her teachers presented to my parents is that writing with your left hand is so much slower that it can disadvantage people.
It worked well for her, actually. I think the problem with Ye Olde Time Nuns is that they were so obnoxious about it.
Submitted by BoredSlore on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:41pm.
"Possessed girls get kicked outta Catholic skul."
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Heh, wish I'd thought of that.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:30pm.
The Sister's used to tell us it was 'unnatural' and some crap about Satan using the left hand...dunno, they couldn't break my sister either.
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Oh I got the Satan Spiel. It was all based on the ~left handed people are in their RIGHT MINDS~ kind of thing. Left handers were *free thinkers* so couldn't be brainwashed as easily.
I lucked out and got a *Secret Sister* who was left handed, even though no one knew. I never learned how to write right handed... but I DID learn how to write upside down and backwards left handed. So, I would turn in work like that.
Possessed girls get kicked outta Catholic skul.
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ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:29pm.
Why would Catholic schools give a shit if you're faking it, anyway? They're getting your $30K per year regardless, so I'm sure they all just turn the other way while you flub your Our Fathers and sleep your way through catechism class.
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Actually, Catholic schools (*any* good schools, in fact) are massively over subscribed. They can pick and choose.
I don't know what it's like in the US, but my parents went to church explicitly to get at least some of us into the private religious schools. (There were other reasons, but that was a big one.)
In the British Isles, they *will* check your church attendance, amongst other things.
You do not have to be Catholic to attend Catholic school. I went to Catholic schools from first grade through college. Over 50% of the people in my grade school, high school and college were non-Catholics. Some were not even Christian.
You can go there without the beliefs but that doesn't get you out of mandatory religion classes or attending school Masses (snore.)
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:30pm.
They don't paddle kids anymore either. Tis a pity.
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All shades of this for EVERYONE.
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ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:04pm.
Submitted by waterbucket on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 4:58pm.
My cousin fakes being a Catholic so her children could go to Catholic schools in New Jersey. They're the best education someone could get in the area so my cousin thought "why not?". At get-togethers, we ask the kids to recite Catholic stuff they learn at the school and we laugh. Even the kids know that they're just fake Catholic. They sure get a good education though.
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catholic schools have always taken non-catholics - there's no faking required. in fact, at innercity catholic schools 90% of the student body is non catholic. your comment doesn't make any sense, but nice try
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I don't know the extend of her faking it but she and her children sure say they believe in God and go to services. So please take your condescending tone, put it in your personalized "St Angelina" box and smoke it. Condescending bitch!
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you could've just stopped at, "I don't know," 'cause clearly you don't, sweatpea.
Ignorance demands to be condescended to, so get used to it, little missie, 'cause you're bound to get a lot of it throughout your ignorant life
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
BoredSlore: they don't do that now. My eldest is a lefty. Not an issue.
They don't paddle kids anymore either. Tis a pity.
Submitted by BoredSlore on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:17pm.
And do they still try to make you right-handed if you're left-handed? They did that to my dad, knuckle raps and all.
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Tried it with me. I was too headstrong to let them *break* me....
But that was late 70s early 80s. Not sure if they still do.
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The Sister's used to tell us it was 'unnatural' and some crap about Satan using the left hand...dunno, they couldn't break my sister either.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Why would Catholic schools give a shit if you're faking it, anyway? They're getting your $30K per year regardless, so I'm sure they all just turn the other way while you flub your Our Fathers and sleep your way through catechism class.
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It's PHELPS time!
Catholic boys are the best kissers and lovers. They learn their moves early on. Reared as both Catholic and Lutheran, Catholic boys always win my heart.
This is a very nice school, trust. It's not nuns with rulers.
These fancy Upper East Side Catholic schools are more like private prep schools than the old style Catholic schools. They have Mass, but they are somewhat progressive, too. They're strict but it's good for the kids. My kids go to one (not as fancy as CoSH) and they don't MESS. The rules apply to EVERYONE But the kids are all happy and polite and they love the school. Kids need that kind of structure, I don't care what you say.
This might be the best thing that's ever happened to Suri.
My father was too poor to send me to Catholic school so he sent me to Catholic night school once a week instead. All they talked about was how everybody was going to hell for doing anything vaguely fun. Fucked me up enough that I still have issues with religion all these years later. I used to cry to get out of class but that only worked sometimes. Suri probably won't have the same problem though, because she seems like a hellion, and I was a timid kiddie with Aspeger's. Suri will probably be all "Yeah, fuck this shit" and go smoke cigarettes in the girls' room.
Tommy must be in near-nervous breakdown state over this...
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts
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Her marriage wasn't in the Catholic church so they won't count her divorce against her. Newt Gingrich was able to get married in the Catholic church to his 3rd wife (former mistress) because none of his previous marriages were Catholic ceremonies.
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If Katie ever wants to marry again and have a Catholic wedding, she will have to get her previous marriage annulled.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:17pm.
And do they still try to make you right-handed if you're left-handed? They did that to my dad, knuckle raps and all.
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Tried it with me. I was too headstrong to let them *break* me....
But that was late 70s early 80s. Not sure if they still do.
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ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:04pm.
Submitted by waterbucket on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 4:58pm.
My cousin fakes being a Catholic so her children could go to Catholic schools in New Jersey. They're the best education someone could get in the area so my cousin thought "why not?". At get-togethers, we ask the kids to recite Catholic stuff they learn at the school and we laugh. Even the kids know that they're just fake Catholic. They sure get a good education though.
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catholic schools have always taken non-catholics - there's no faking required. in fact, at innercity catholic schools 90% of the student body is non catholic. your comment doesn't make any sense, but nice try
******
Sounds weird to me, *Bernard*. Have you studied this to come up with such precise numbers? The catholic school that I attended for 12 years and the different ones my extended family attended, *all* required that you be a Catholic or you be a damn good faker.
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Considering the Kennedy's, the Hilton's and Lady Gaga went to the school, apparently you don't learn the Catholic religion there.
Has Suri even done anything remotely school related?? Did she go to a Sciento pre-school? Have a tutor?? Does she even know the abc's and such?
Wow. Is it possible? Suri actually looks...happy?? In this photo?
Seriously, wth was going on w. these people, and TC, in particular, that Suri looks (and has been looking!) so much more at peace now? (except when she's hiding from the cameras, but, whatever. I would too!)
Don't know how I feel about the Catholic school thing, though. A friend of mine converted recently and decided to go full throttle and not use birth control anymore. *sigh* Really?
And do they still try to make you right-handed if you're left-handed? They did that to my dad, knuckle raps and all.
Submitted by FluffKitteh on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:54pm.
True... though, in a way, isn't "satan" always hunting you down?
Even though the public school system definitely has it cons... would have rather gone there than learn science from a nun... or however that works out.
Submitted by FluffKitteh on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:54pm.
I don't agree with the posters who say Catholicism is as bad as Scientology. Catholics won't chase you down if you stop coming to Mass.
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I agree with that. But they do implant an eternal sense of guilt in one's soul.
*I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar*
I would have hated going to Catholic school. Luckily my parents didn't have the money.
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Happy Birthday Precocious Magpie!
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I went to Catholic School.
But that has NO BEARING on the fact I love being spanked with a ruler. None!
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ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!
I went to Catholic school for 12 years, which is why I hate religion.
Scientology has not for profit tax exemption, yet it charges you for the auditing sessions needed to help you achieve the "Churches Goal" for you. The Catholic Church dreams of having it so good.
Strict school!? Ha. The prestige factor for this school means Suri won't ever hear, no. Her happiness is paramount. These full-board tuition payers are the lifeblood of these NYC kiddie schools.
Submitted by bourgie on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:39pm.
Ironically Katie is technically out of the Catholic Church not because of "conversion" (cuz Scientology is not a church no matter what their asses say)but because she is now getting a divorce unless BOOM she asks for annulment!
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Her marriage wasn't in the Catholic church so they won't count her divorce against her. Newt Gingrich was able to get married in the Catholic church to his 3rd wife (former mistress) because none of his previous marriages were Catholic ceremonies.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by FluffKitteh on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:54pm.
I don't agree with the posters who say Catholicism is as bad as Scientology. Catholics won't chase you down if you stop coming to Mass.
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And Catholics don't blackmail you with your confession. Huge differences between the two.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
waterbucket - does your cousin attend church but not take communion in order to fake being Catholic? I can see a parent doing that to maintain the appearance of being a practicing Catholic.
I know in the past, the Catholic Church said you couldn't take communion if you were divorced. I've been divorced for a couple of years and still attend mass and take communion. And no one jumps out and tazes me for doing it.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
Meh, I went to Catholic school. I don't remember shit from religion class. Friday mass was cool, we went to mass then got out of school at noon. Yep...that is all I cared about.
Submitted by bourgie on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:50pm.
I went to school with a girl who transferred to Miss Porter's. She went in a normal (if a leetle insane) teenager and came out a vapid, pearl-wearing, snot head.
JFC.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I don't agree with the posters who say Catholicism is as bad as Scientology. Catholics won't chase you down if you stop coming to Mass.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
"Although, sitting in Catholic mass for hours upon days upon weeks upon months upon years upon centuries did force me to learn a very important skill: how to sleep with my eyes open."
THIS!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^
My parents are devout Catholics, but they always used to fall asleep at church. When us kids would fall asleep, they would elbow us and give us the shank eye and I would say, "But Mom, you're sleeping too!" and my mom would say, "I wasn't sleeping! I'm just resting my eyes!" Oh yeah sure, Mom. Jesus Christ, just because I was 7 didn't mean I was retarded. My mom would also balance her checkbook in church too. She would always insist on us going to the Polish masses even though we didn't speak enough Polish to know what the priest was babbling about anyway.
Good luck, Suri. You're going to need it. You have many years of rebellion on your plate.
*I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar*
A Catholic nun with a ruler is just what Suri needs.
You go Katie!
I graduated from an all girl Catholic school and look how well I turned out....BWAAAAAAHAAAA
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Better that Miss Porter's in Farmington. I did the Catholic thing all the way through college and at the time I HATED it for the restricted atmosphere. I thought the grass was greeneer with public school seeming to be cooler, they could wear real clothes instead of uniform, got tons of days off, free luches, etc... Now when I look back and compare, I am grateful. But not all schools are the same tho...Now these places called charter schools are everywhere trying to be like private schools w/out the religion. let's see how that goes.
Yeah really great Katie - way to go, you obviously learned alot about Religion taking over you and your childs life!
The more i watch that smug grin on her face the more i find myself leaning away from my original pro Katie position - also who goes from looking like a bag lady to being perfectly made up and ( for her at least) very well coordinated and dressed in the space of a week?? I thought she was supposedly traumatised by 6 years of ill treatment?
A born again Catholic is worse than a born again non smoker, Suri is fucked
Right on waterbucket.
Still indoctrinated by kooks, but at least she will be able to pass for normal.
I hope this isn't true. She got saved from the first crazy religion, now she's being sent to the next one... poor kid.
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I'm not a slut, I'm sexually liberated. There's a difference.
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Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
There's very few nuns left in the world anymore, much less teaching in a Catholic grammar school (I think they reserve the remaining oldest and meanest nuns to deal with Catholic teen girls so the sides are balanced). Suri might have a hard time adjusting initially, but I agree that she'll turn into Regina George by the 5th grade.
Please God let the paps be around to snap her in her First Communion finery - TC's little Thetan head is gonna blow right off his shoulders!
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
I still say Suri looks like a twisted wolf-girl....and she is clearly one EPIC brat in the making.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:04pm.
Submitted by waterbucket on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 4:58pm.
My cousin fakes being a Catholic so her children could go to Catholic schools in New Jersey. They're the best education someone could get in the area so my cousin thought "why not?". At get-togethers, we ask the kids to recite Catholic stuff they learn at the school and we laugh. Even the kids know that they're just fake Catholic. They sure get a good education though.
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catholic schools have always taken non-catholics - there's no faking required. in fact, at innercity catholic schools 90% of the student body is non catholic. your comment doesn't make any sense, but nice try
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I don't know the extend of her faking it but she and her children sure say they believe in God and go to services. So please take your condescending tone, put it in your personalized "St Angelina" box and smoke it. Condescending bitch!
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The man's as gay as a picnic basket.