Hot Slut Of The Day!
Dr. Fredric Brandt, world-renowned cosmetic dermatologist and a fantastical beauty I thought only existed deep within the mind of J.K. Rowling. You probably can't get up right now, because looking at that precious picture of Dr. Brandt made your asshole pucker so hard that it suctioned itself to your chair.
Every weekday morning at 11, I keep The View on in the background, because the sound of rabid, crazy hens hysterically pecking at the same seed really helps me to work. And about halfway into yesterday's show, the high-pitched pecking suddenly stopped and was replaced by the ethereal vision of a shining albino sun whose shooting rays of beauty covered my retinas with perfection. I don't even know what the hell Dr. Brandt was on there to talk about, because I temporarily lost my sense of hearing to focus on taking in his radiant gorgeousness with my eyes. But after his segment ended when he disappeared in a cloud of star dust, I Googled his ass and found out that he's the greatest cosmetic dermatologist who has ever lived, or something. Dr. Brandt is like a plastic surgeon, but instead of using a scalpel as his paint brush, he uses a needle full of injectables to create his masterpieces. Apparently, Madge is one of his clients and so I guess she's the Mona Lisa to his da Vinci. Makes sense since Madge looks like Mona Lisa if you recreated Mona Lisa's face using creamed veal, spray lacquer and the butt cheeks of a newborn baby.
If you mixed together the potent essence of an Austin Powers villain, the charisma of Lucius Malfoy, the grace of Glenn Close as Albert Nobbs, a drop of blood from a vampire swan and the judgmental gaze of a snobby ostrich, you still wouldn't come close to matching the overall majesty of Dr. Brandt. J.K. Rowling so needs to rewrite the ending to Harry Potter, because it should end like this: "And as soon as Harry came face to gorgeous face with the Death Eaters' answer to Aphrodite, Dr. Fredric Brandt, he dropped his wand, got lost in the doctor's beauty and surrendered himself. Oh, and Dr. Brandt totally fixed that scar on Harry's forehead in just a few office visits. The end."
And somebody please tell Lucius Malfoy to cancel his appointment at Supercuts, because he could never pull off a bob the way Dr. Brandt pulls off a bob. Excuse this Death Eaters' beauty.
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Seems like a nice boy.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Well at least he acts and dresses his age! Oh, wait...
Wow, I guess tomorrow DOES belong to him. What a beautiful Aryan creature.
Yeah, but his man tits are awesome ...
He reminds me of Rev. Henry Kane from Poltergeist II...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlDH8jaQZN0&feature=related
What a fucking horrible creature.. thing. Who in their right mind could take a look at the mirror and say "I look presentable, beautiful, normal, attractive, etc."?. These plastic surgery addicts are fucked up in the head.
I wonder if Angelina Jolie will look this in about 10 years.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Handsome Squidward lives!!
Wow, looks like "Bruno 2032" just found it's leading man.
Submitted by Mirooshka on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 4:48pm.
"If anything, Madonna’s 2 cheek cushions are a bad publicity to the Doc..."
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I think HIS face should scare away his patients.../shiver.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Patients who are having all these cosmetic procedures are nothing short than an addicts. One just isn’t enough. At a certain point, the cheeks look puffy and over-stuffed, creating the pillow face look.
And Botox is no better. What the dermatologists fail to tell you is that this wrinkle blocker is actually a toxin extracted from clostridium botolinum, the food poison bacteria.
If anything, Madonna’s 2 cheek cushions are a bad publicity to the Doc because they are an indication to an over enthusiastic-star stricken Doctor who uses no ethical judgment with his clients. Unlike Hollywood, in medicine not any publicity is a good publicity. A bad procedure indicating a bad doctor. Who is going to see Michael Jackson enabler cardiologist who administered him propofol?...
GAH what is that thing!?
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It's PHELPS time!
*wide-eye stare*
*hugs Obagi products*
I'll stick with what I've got, TYVM
"Dr Frederic Brandt has several claims to fame. He is, for instance, the largest user of injectable collagen and Botox - in the world. 'I just love fillers!' he tells me. And how. When we meet at his New York clinic he wastes no time in revealing that he regularly injects himself.
'The last session I did was six-and-a-half vials!' His face is a smooth, jowl-free mask. Imagine a tub of frozen yoghurt, not a single line or wrinkle. He is cosmetic medicine's Peter Pan.
In fact, in the 25 years since he began practising (Brandt set up shop in 1982 after completing both an oncology and dermatology residency at medical school in Philadelphia) he has personally tested every procedure and product he uses in his clinics - on himself.
All of which has made the 59-year-old Brandt surreally young-looking, and very rich. He is the Baron of Botox, the King of Collagen. His clients pay up to $7,000 for a full face of injections and come to him from all over the world, some as often as six times a year."
full article here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/sep/07/beauty.women1
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Dr. Perricorn (typo and it stays) is based here in CT. He's like a hero round these parts.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Nanners on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 4:09pm.
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 3:51pm.
Oh, he's THE Dr. Brandt?! I'll be sure to stay away from his products if this is the result.
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Yup, the one and only. I read New Beauty magazine, which has a lot of good articles on anti-aging products and the newest procedures, and he's in the back of every issue in the "Find a provider" section.
I've tried some samples of his products for enlarged pores and oily skin and they were pretty good, but then I remember what this dude actually looks like. If you're going to have your own line, at least take a page from Patricia Wexler's book and look halfway normal.
I'm not gonna lie, I use the hell out of his 'Pores no more' products. They work crazy good,especially for something made by Riff Raff's ghost.
I was watching the View yesterday as well, and kept wondering how they morphed Carson Kressley and Nicole Kidman into one person, and, perhaps more significantly, WHY?
Almost as kreepy as Kunty Karl
Yup I knew about this slit, I've got lots o' his poisons in my medicine cabinet (cabinet of Dr. Caligary more like) but I had not seen some of these more terrifying Dark Crystal pictures. He is so a Froud creation.
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" I don't care what anybody says about me, as long as it isn't true."
Dorothy Parker
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 3:51pm.
Oh, he's THE Dr. Brandt?! I'll be sure to stay away from his products if this is the result.
Dr. Perricone also looks weird to me - http://www.perriconemd.com/category/the+doctor.do
I'll stick to Dr. Hauschka.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
He looks embalmed!
Man or woman? The truth is in the middle...
Ya know, here in Nowheresville, USA, I got a little Botox from a well-known area practitioner and not only did he leave me with enough movement to look natural, but also he admitted to using it himself and he only looked refreshed, not frozen.
And then you see this big doctor-about-town looking like this? How on earth is he successful enough that you see his name in magazines and he even has a popular skincare line? I don't get it.
The kind of dermatologist you meet in some hellish Silent Hill dungeon.
Evidently he is his own best customer. Ahhahahahahah his own facials!!!
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
Pepaw kinda reminds me of Hannibal's "fourth victim." Skewrry.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 3:30pm.
Whether he is or he isn't shouldn't interest you since he isn't a toddler, pedophile. I see the police haven't caught up with you yet. Still trying to get back into NAMBLA?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Is Dr. Brandt a homosexual?
creepy. really creepy.
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
Of course Madge goes to him. Most people don't get their car fixed by a mechanic with a busted car but I guess the rich are different.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
The content, the writing of this whole post made me giggle a LOT. I'm still smiling a bit too much for a bit too long (ow,dammit, it kinda hurts, all this smiling so early in the morning. Yes, anything pre-noon is early in the morning, what? Plus it's Saturday. Sit down & drink ya vino, nothin to see here).
*continues grinning like an idiot*
Michael K, you are such the brilliantist! I love you & your writing style, so. *kisses*
I am scared.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
What I want to knowis why when men have work done on their face they look more feminine, but when women have work done they look more masculine?
Why do people do this to themselves? He looks like a freak straight out of an Austin Powers film. Obviously, he's had extensive plastic surgery; you can see the face-lift scars near his hairline.
He's 63ish, according to an article wrttien in 2008, that said he was 59 at that time.
Yeah, he can keep his crap away from me.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Albert Nobbs+ Bruce Jenner= this bitch
Dad, is that you?!
xoxo,
Austin Scarlett
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
He makes Joan Rivers face look natural. Holy shit.
He looks like what Gary Oldman's old ass Dracula with the butt hair would look like after getting some work done.
Holy fuck that is disturbing!
This dude looks like if John Tesh was in a really bad house fire and had to have his whole face reconstructred. HORRIBLE.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
A few years ago when I lived in Chicago, I went to a highly recommended derma doctor for a facial and to look into Boxtox, etc.
The ladies in the office were great, the facial and massage were great but when the Dr. came in to look me over... he looked very much like this guy. Pulled and stretched beyond the limits of human skin, acting like a rock star with a bunch of pretty young assistants fluttering all around him.
I was so horrified that I don't even remember what his treatment suggestions were. No way was I going to let him near me with anything more dangerous than a sponge.
I use one of his face creams... His scary face is on the box lol.
...the fuck?? THAT FACE!
I first read that as .. world-renowned cosmic dermatologist ....that's fitting. that face is cosmic.
that thumb where he's in the white jacket with silver tie, is some Peter Facinelli/Carlisle Cullen-looking shit going on..
ugh he looks terrible, injectables may be less invasive than a face-lift but the results are no less grotesque. I would never do anything to my face more drastic than microdermabrasion
Thumb #1 looks like he's wearing a human-skin coat and his little metal-tipped peen is hanging out of his trousers.
I'm getting flashbacks of the Human Centipede
WOW
Triple post
Yikes
That's what I'm going to look like when I grow up.