“I believe you, Blohan!” said absolutely no one last month when Lindsay Lohan blamed crashing into a semi on her rented Porsche’s brakes. It turns out we were all right. One of the many shitty excuses that dribbled out of LiLo’s ass after the accident was that her brakes failed to brake when the semi-truck cut her off on PCH. Well, TMZ says that Porsche heard about LiLo putting the blame on the brakes and decided to check it out. You know where this is going and you already know it’s going to end with LiLo screaming, “Porsche is out to get me!“
Porsche picked up LiLo’s bruised and busted car from the place she rented it from and ran a few brake tests on it. Shockingly, the brakes worked fine and Porsche couldn’t find anything wrong with them. So the only thing broke is LiLo’s ability to barf up the truth.
Why did Porsche even bother? Testing those brakes was a waste of time and money. Don’t they know that if you put one of LiLo’s excuses in Google Translate and translate it from Lohanese to Truth Talk, the exact opposite of what she said would pop up in the right hand box. Bitch can make a lie detector machine combust just by opening her mouth. Every day is Opposite Day in LiLo’s head.