Saturday, July 14th 2012

Guess What? LieLo Told A Lie

"I believe you, Blohan!" said absolutely no one last month when Lindsay Lohan blamed crashing into a semi on her rented Porsche's brakes. It turns out we were all right. One of the many shitty excuses that dribbled out of LiLo's ass after the accident was that her brakes failed to brake when the semi-truck cut her off on PCH. Well, TMZ says that Porsche heard about LiLo putting the blame on the brakes and decided to check it out. You know where this is going and you already know it's going to end with LiLo screaming, "Porsche is out to get me!"

Porsche picked up LiLo's bruised and busted car from the place she rented it from and ran a few brake tests on it. Shockingly, the brakes worked fine and Porsche couldn't find anything wrong with them. So the only thing broke is LiLo's ability to barf up the truth.

Why did Porsche even bother? Testing those brakes was a waste of time and money. Don't they know that if you put one of LiLo's excuses in Google Translate and translate it from Lohanese to Truth Talk, the exact opposite of what she said would pop up in the right hand box. Bitch can make a lie detector machine combust just by opening her mouth. Every day is Opposite Day in LiLo's head.

Posted by: Michael K


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karen's picture

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs

Porsche brakes don't fail, lindsey Lohan was probably high on some pills she has legal scripts for.

P.T.Bull's picture

Its kind of a chicken and egg thing to try and see whether the compulsive lying lead to the addiction or vice versa.

Porsche does have a lot of skin in the game--not wanting billionaires to feel its unsafe--so it was worth it for them.

Sadly, Celeste Holm just passed away. R.I.P. to one of the screen's greats.

In stark contrast, we are forever stuck with this one and her endless stunts.

Mani6's picture

Submitted by LA me on Sun, 07/15/2012 - 2:44am.

Shirley Manson still rocks. I always liked her alternative style music and now she seems to be collaborating with newcomer Sky Ferriera...maybe some new greatness to come.

Nobody believed that the brakes on the Porsche failed anyway but I'm sure that company takes claims against them seriously.

Get Serious's picture

I agree, Colt13; they have to protect their design & reputation from the scurilous & dishonest assertion of a pathological liar. At this point, I don't think a single person on planet Earth believes anything she vomits out of her cokehole, but better to be out in front of this coming catastrophe than caught up in lie-low's mess...

--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

I like what Porsche did. They are a premium brand, and have much more to lose than Toyota, mainly because of the limited production. So this had nothing to do with Lohan, just protecting their good name.

jussayin's picture

better suck that same dick that gave you rent-a-
Porsche money for fix-a-Porsche money, Linds.

crazyassmom's picture

Yo!! LAME one! You still around? Haven't talked to you in ages!!!
Tmom =•}

====================
"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK

Mani6's picture

Lindsay could have driven in this one. The Cardigans actually showed some promise too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zOEJ1HdSts&feature=related

Great driving skills!!

LA me's picture

Submitted by Mani6 on Sun, 07/15/2012 - 2:30am.
oh yeah...this one too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfDdQGSvL0g&feature=related
****************************************
I had the honor of driving Shirley and the band several times this year. They are the Best!!

I've always had the song "Stupid Girl" in my head when thinking about Blohan... GMTA

***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria

Mani6's picture
loopygorilla's picture

noooooooo really?

next thing you will tell me that lindsay's farts smell like cinnamon spice and vanilla

Mani6's picture

It's amazing to me that she still gets work. To me it's over just like in this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOmo5m6I738

precociousmagpie's picture

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:42pm.

Indeed it is, and I am milking the last 45 minutes out of it. Thanks! :^D

Mani6's picture

What really happened that night:
(Texting while driving)

Ok...road is straight...

(Mom...refill adderall for me...uh let's use Ima Wiener...that one always works)

WHOA! BIG TRUCK......SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!

Pink bag....RUN WITH THE BAG!!

M.E.'s picture

Sans fards- YES! Porsche should sue her for slander or defemation of character. ( i typed defecation first oops). Just to have this bitch's lying ass handed to her legally would be great

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 9:54pm.

Too bad SHE isn't the real "Porsche Girl". :^P

hahaha. Maybe someday... I'm not sure she drives wildly or recklessly, but poorly. (Not to mention while high or texting.)

If it really is your birthday, hope you had a happy one.

salacious's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:04pm.

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:56pm.
Notice how Whamo is ignoring me now? He knows I'm a gold medalist in the Nagging Olympics.
_____________________________________________
I'd NEVER ignore you doggie I'm just on my BB and can't keep up with all your comments and advice.

---

Excuses excuses... if Fury was here would you ignore her the same way?

;)

Hey man, how's your foot? Does it bother you enough to not want to mess with the loons tonight?

----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"

KA's picture

i dont know why the fuck theyd even bother. all theyd have to say is people, it's lindsay lohan saying this shit. does anyone believe her at all? and the entire world would shake its head no all at the same time. and like it matters that she lied. the car could talk and tell the real story of the accident and shed still get away with anything she wants. this bitch will get away with anything that she does right until the day she overdoses and dies.

-----------------------------------------
"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK

Mani6's picture

As most have already said Lindsay only knows to lie to try to get out of something.

precociousmagpie's picture

Too bad SHE isn't the real "Porsche Girl". :^P

oh dave's picture

I see why Porsche wanted to protect their reputation, but I hope they weren't too upset about it. Everyone knows she lied.

Will this hurt her? She is already known as a liar, thief, scammer, racist, crackhead, so if she has any fans I don't think they will care.

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

mefunigirl's picture

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:13pm.
Ballerina. Pas De Deux. Partner didn't catch me. Both knees gone. So was dancing career
...
:(
I was a prima in my mind 'cause I had the attention span of a flea as a child.
Do you watch Breaking Pointe? Or is that too fake for you. (I LOVE it)

OT: Did she seriously think she could just toss out there the comment that it was Porsches' fault and they would just let her ruin their rep like that?

She really is delusional and ignorant. At this point she might as well say the evil Leprechaun jumped in her car and took over, or that she swerved to avoid hitting Godzilla. Might as well make it interesting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by Get Serious on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:25pm.
1) I wasn't driving, it was my assistant - LIE
2) OK, I was driving & the semi swerved in front of me - LIE
3) The Porsche brakes didn't work - LIE

So, why did Porsche test the brakes? Because fucked in the head pathological liar blowhan is extremely litigious; they just headed off a "Porsche is out to get me" bullshit product liability lawsuit, and placed the blame squarely back on blowhan's coked out shoulders. Seriously; bitch would sue anyone if she got the chance.

______________________________________________

Porsche should sue HER. For slander, or whatever....for making a demonstrably false statement that could've cost them business. They wouldn't be able to collect, seeing as she's broke as a joke, but it would be funny nonetheless.

_______________________________________________

It's PHELPS time!

Margo's picture

I don't like a lazy liar; get some creativity for crying out loud.

RandéSleepover's picture

Lohan: "I meant they didn't work with heels on. And without pushing them a little."

blather999's picture

If you are going to be a liar, be good at it. Practice the skill. This pathetic girl is so drug addled + low IQ = horrible, lazy liar.
==================================================
"That's what you said a week ago in Guadalajara." - Honey West

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:24pm.

"I guess "Move that 18-wheeler! I'm Lindsay Lohan" didn't work, huh?"

------

Too bad she wasn't going a tad faster, she'd be roadkill.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare

Poopele's picture

It's really about a schizophrenic hiding behind alcohol and drugs to escape her insecurity. Looking at her disturbed parentage, it's hard not to feel a little sympathy for her.

She truly has a disease.

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:20pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:13pm.

Tell me that after we all try to turn your man cave into a sewing room, hang wet lingerie on your shower rod, use your razor to shave our legs, and bake you tuna casseroles. All at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMMFAO. I blew box o' wine through my nose TYVM.

Whamo, don't worry about me. I don't sew, never wear panties, wax not shave and only make tuna salad or tuna cakes... NO casserole.

---------

LMAO, um yeah ditto, except I don't do tuna...ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare

SANS FARDS's picture

I guess "Move that 18-wheeler! I'm Lindsay Lohan" didn't work, huh?

_______________________________________________

It's PHELPS time!

BoredSlore's picture

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:19pm.

I wonder why BloLie never sued that cactus/?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am still waiting for the outcome of the lawsuit against the orange cone.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!

BoredSlore's picture

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:13pm.

Tell me that after we all try to turn your man cave into a sewing room, hang wet lingerie on your shower rod, use your razor to shave our legs, and bake you tuna casseroles. All at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMMFAO. I blew box o' wine through my nose TYVM.

Whamo, don't worry about me. I don't sew, never wear panties, wax not shave and only make tuna salad or tuna cakes... NO casserole.

***Hands dog back her granny glasses***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!

Dog's picture

I wonder why BloLie never sued that cactus/?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Get Serious's picture

1) I wasn't driving, it was my assistant - LIE
2) OK, I was driving & the semi swerved in front of me - LIE
3) The Porsche brakes didn't work - LIE

So, why did Porsche test the brakes? Because fucked in the head pathological liar blowhan is extremely litigious; they just headed off a "Porsche is out to get me" bullshit product liability lawsuit, and placed the blame squarely back on blowhan's coked out shoulders. Seriously; bitch would sue anyone if she got the chance. Stupid whore would even sue her mom-ager... if she knew where she was or was sober enough to be able to find her...

--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

WinterOwl22's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:56pm.
Crack ho.

She lies for sport.

*************************************

There should be a lying Olympics! Lilo, Wonky, and Miley will be top contenders!

________________________

Happy Birthday Precocious Magpie! 

Dog's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:10pm.
yes it is like having multiple wives all of a sudden, it's all good though.

^^^^^^^^^^^

Tell me that after we all try to turn your man cave into a sewing room, hang wet lingerie on your shower rod, use your razor to shave our legs, and bake you tuna casseroles. All at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

BoredSlore's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:10pm.

LMAO, I don't know about the cunts part

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Any cunt on the Dlist that doesn't like being called a cunt.... is a cunt. And needs to go to JJ or CDAN.

~BoredSlore ***who tried to have BoredCunt as her SN but the MAN wouldn't let her***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!

Whamo's picture

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:03pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:00pm.

Like being a Polygamist hubby to the worst cunts on the planet...
---------------------------------------------
LMAO, I don't know about the cunts part mind you but yes it is like having multiple wives all of a sudden, it's all good though.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:56pm.
Notice how Whamo is ignoring me now? He knows I'm a gold medalist in the Nagging Olympics.
_____________________________________________
I'd NEVER ignore you doggie I'm just on my BB and can't keep up with all your comments and advice.

It's nice nagging anyway, I know you mean well for me:)

BoredSlore's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 6:00pm.

ubmitted by Gem on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:41pm.
_____________________________________________
Thanks for the advice! I figured I would give it a bit of time to see how things settle up.

Again thanks to all you guys for your advice, this is why you bitches and horz are the bestest ever:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like being a Polygamist hubby to the worst cunts on the planet...........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!

Ahaha Bored, that was priceless.! =P

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare

Whamo's picture

ubmitted by Gem on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:41pm.
_____________________________________________
Thanks for the advice! I figured I would give it a bit of time to see how things settle up.

Again thanks to all you guys for your advice, this is why you bitches and horz are the bestest ever:)

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 5:56pm.

"Notice how Whamo is ignoring me now? He knows I'm a gold medalist in the Nagging Olympics."

------

Mhmm. He probably has his fingers in his ears LALALALALALA....ya know? Bite is other ankle Dog! ;-)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare

snuffy's picture

I don't think she meant to lie this time; she probably just doesn't know what the clutch is for.

BoredSlore's picture

**To self*** Jeebus like talking to my cat!! (deep sigh)...fucking headstrong prick.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAMO. I walked for two weeks on a broken foot. The top was broken. Let's see if I can explain this to you simply as you are a guy...

1. *grunt* No swell? Foot broke.
2. *grunt* Need doktore.
3. *grunt* Dlist wimmins bitch til you go doktore.
4. *grunt* GO DOKTORE!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!

Dog's picture

Notice how Whamo is ignoring me now? He knows I'm a gold medalist in the Nagging Olympics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Hekki's picture

Crack ho.

She lies for sport.

parissucksliterally's picture

I am glad they called her out on her blatant lies. she ALWAYS lies. She is such a fucking asshole, and there is no way in hell she is sober.

***********************************************
All that loving must've been lacking something
If I got bored trying to figure you out
You let me down
I don't even like you anymore at all