No one ever said that Friday the 13th brings good news. Well, at least you know that an adorable kitteh’s “Can you warn me the next time you blow out an upwind queef?” face is the same as your “These bitches made how much?” face.
This is the point in your week when you curse at your 10-year-old self for not putting a melody to the entries you wrote in your Poochie Funtime Diary about cute boys, icky boys, beautiful princesses, fairytale kingdoms, Kanye West and heroin (that’s what “White Horse” is really about, right?). The professional list makers at Forbes put together another one of their lists and this one lists the celebwhores under the age of 30 who filled their checking account with the most gold bars from May 2011 to May 2012. The list is 70% female (including The Lesbeaver), 30% Twatlight and depending on who you ask, it’s 60% to 90% HUH? Here’s the full list:
1. Taylor Squint, 22 – $57 million
2. The Lesbeaver, 18 – $55 million
3. RiRi, 24 – $53 million
4. Lady CaCa, 26 – $52 million
5. Katy Perry, 27 – $45 million
6. Adele, 24 – $35 million
7. Kristen Stewart, 22 – $34.5 million
8. Lil Wayne, 29 – $27 million
9. Taylor Lautner, 20 – $26.5 million
9. RPattz, 26 – $26.5 million
Never mind the other overpaid whores on the list, I can’t fully hate on the Strawberry Shortcake character that is Taylor Swift for making more money than 1,400+ school teachers combined, because she made some of that money by shitting on John Mayer’s depressed David Duke dick. Taylor gets points for that one.
Here’s 3 of the 10 highest youngins being herpy and derpy at Comic-Con yesterday. With all that money, RPattz should be wearing something nicer than a shirt from Miller’s Outpost circa 1989.