Taylor Swift Made $57 Million In One Year
No one ever said that Friday the 13th brings good news. Well, at least you know that an adorable kitteh's "Can you warn me the next time you blow out an upwind queef?" face is the same as your "These bitches made how much?" face.
This is the point in your week when you curse at your 10-year-old self for not putting a melody to the entries you wrote in your Poochie Funtime Diary about cute boys, icky boys, beautiful princesses, fairytale kingdoms, Kanye West and heroin (that's what "White Horse" is really about, right?). The professional list makers at Forbes put together another one of their lists and this one lists the celebwhores under the age of 30 who filled their checking account with the most gold bars from May 2011 to May 2012. The list is 70% female (including The Lesbeaver), 30% Twatlight and depending on who you ask, it's 60% to 90% HUH? Here's the full list:
1. Taylor Squint, 22 - $57 million
2. The Lesbeaver, 18 - $55 million
3. RiRi, 24 - $53 million
4. Lady CaCa, 26 - $52 million
5. Katy Perry, 27 - $45 million
6. Adele, 24 - $35 million
7. Kristen Stewart, 22 - $34.5 million
8. Lil Wayne, 29 - $27 million
9. Taylor Lautner, 20 - $26.5 million
9. RPattz, 26 - $26.5 million
Never mind the other overpaid whores on the list, I can't fully hate on the Strawberry Shortcake character that is Taylor Swift for making more money than 1,400+ school teachers combined, because she made some of that money by shitting on John Mayer's depressed David Duke dick. Taylor gets points for that one.
Here's 3 of the 10 highest youngins being herpy and derpy at Comic-Con yesterday. With all that money, RPattz should be wearing something nicer than a shirt from Miller's Outpost circa 1989.
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I don't want to live on this planet anymore
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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With the exception of Adele, everyone on that list just proves Dorothy Parker right: "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to." See also: EL James and the Kardashian family.
My only consolation her is that at I predict least Beebz will probably be broke by the time he's 23 because he blew his money on tacky shit and bad investments and will have to go the free concerts at state fairs and tractor pulls route.
Um Lil' Wayne and Caca don't seem to belong on this list. Under 30 my ass.
Is she related to Rene Zwegglieriere (what ever)?
It's the devil's money. She sold her soul, were the millions worth it?
Submitted by Hotmami on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:24am.
I hear ya Hotmami...life doesn't seem fair sometimes but at least nobody can take the love between you and your daughter away.
The womens got big bucks! You have to include Beaver in that group LOL!
This is so depressing. My bills amount to more than I get paid. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow, and I will not have any money to celebrate it.
*goes back to bed*
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Very Cute picture...
Love Taylors style, she looks great in her recent "cover girl" shoot!
Like Taylor Swift?
Check out Ashton Lane
For 7 free songs visit http://www.ashtonlaneinnercircle.com
I don't know if anyone else has said it but...,that cat looks just like LeeAnn Rimes. She has it's nose.
Her rat eyes REALLY bother me.
And all of her stupid songs sound the same.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
It's honestly one of the worst things ever that a dour, untalented bitch like Kristen Stewart is even near the vicinity of earning as much as Adele.
I never pictured him as a nail-biter but clearly he is: Taylor Lautner's fingers look like nearly bloody bald-headed men :(
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Taylor looks like a young Joni Mitchell in that picture.
Has someone already said it....? Taylor Swift is going to be the old crazy cat lady maid. Her money will never be enough for a guy to marry her.
sigh now i have the sads
I just love his facial expression in that first picture.
(973) Jersey Strong
This is out of control!
(973) Jersey Strong
Taylor Swift is just plain disturbing to look at. I can't quite figure out what it is, her face looks plastic and featureless ... bleah. Don't know anything about her songs and don't want to.
And Pattinson, what's the story with this putz? He always looks beyond stoned with that protruding brow, the half-closed eyes ... I think he's a castoff from a failed genetic engineering experiment. Do people really consider him attractive, or is the attention he gets out of pity?
And as her punishment, she would have to have sex with me every day....
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Submitted by turnelbup on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 6:16pm.
I pray there's a special circle of hell reserved just for Taylor Swift.
While I would gladly bump uglies with swift or stewart, particularly if they begged me enough, but katy perry is my preference, as she is closer to my age, and I like the outfits she designs.
Given the numbers we just saw for hollywood women, bet those gals are wishing they had stuck with the tap dancing instead of moving on to memorizing scripts.
I guess some of these folks, at least will invest their money and not blow it on expensive cars, handbags, hookers, and/or crack. I'm thinking Taylor Squint, Adele, Taylor Lautner, & RobertPattz.
You think if I asked any one these youngsters for a $85,000 donation to pay my student loan, they may be generous? Just think of it, THAT little bit would make most of our lives much less stressful and here they are just sitting on all this dough. sigh.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 3:00pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:30pm.
I got to come up with a talent that is going to make me rich. Being able to suck my own tit isn't enough.
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It's enough for me, yes indeedy. :P
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I didn't mention whether it was kinking my neck to reach my bewb or lifting the bewb to mouth.....tube socks......???
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:30pm.
I got to come up with a talent that is going to make me rich. Being able to suck my own tit isn't enough.
^^^^
I hear dat, ME. I tried it -- threw my back out. Any ideas, horz?
I pray there's a special circle of hell reserved just for Taylor Swift.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
More money than their combined earnings this year is added to Barack Obama's deficit ever single day.
I hate to say this so as not to upset any fans of twilight saga(sucky doesn't even begin to describe that mess)I have trouble buying Kristin Stewart as anything but a hard core labia fan and the unfortunately faced Taylor Lautner well UGG boots is all I can compare his ass to. The jury in my brain is still out on Rpatz. Fake ass fuckery all around but apparently it pays very well though.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 2:39pm.
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Wow, Adele is only one year older? She looks so much older just because of the weight thing. Don't get me wrong, she has a beuatiful face and flawless skin, but they dress her like she's 60 years old. She needs new stylists that know bigger girls can look hot too!
so...at 20 years old, you can put $20M in the shittiest, lowest interest-bearing savings account and live like the fattest 14th century emperor just off the interest, and have more money than God by the time you retire. why continue the bullshit?
Utterly sick society we live in, given that this is hot on the heels of that fat 50 Shades of Grease "author" making $1m+ per WEEK. Mediocrity rules.
As much as I heart Adele, NO ONE deserves this much money. The rest (especially Lesbeaver and the Twitards) are useless sacks of shit who will print out this list and gild it, cuz the gravy trains will come to a halt soon enough.
What's with these numbers? Kristen Stewart was just on another list last month showing she was the highest paid actress with $54 million last year. What is this list? I believe this is unverified information fed by publicists.
How the hell is Lil Wayne only 29????
Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto. - Vera Donovan
In that 1st thumb Patzy is making the same awful face I've seen on his unfortunate looking girlfriend.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown: "Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:25pm.
"you should have seen the fatass mom jean wearin wimminz out there in their black and white cow print pajamas... it was a fucking STAMPEDE!!!!!"
you should have started shouting out Dlisted user names and watched to see if anyone turned around ;-P"
THIS made me LOL on this packed LIRR train. My kid shot me a dirty look.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:30pm.
I got to come up with a talent that is going to make me rich. Being able to suck my own tit isn't enough.
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It's enough for me, yes indeedy. :P
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 2:43pm.
Damn, that money'll buy a lot of fake eyelashes and Wet N Wild liquid eyeliner for Taylor Swift to stuff in her Caboodle.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
As a Squinty McSquinterson myself, false lashes can add mega-squints if you're not careful. Gotta curl the hell out of them so they actually "open up the eyes" like makeup artists say, instead of making you look like you're sleepy or high or both. Maybe TS is both?
Wet 'n Wild eyeliner--never again! That stuff gave me a hellacious eye infection in 7th grade. But I miss my first Caboodle. A tackle box for girls, LOL. Good times, I tell ya.
Damn, that money'll buy a lot of fake eyelashes and Wet N Wild liquid eyeliner for Taylor Swift to stuff in her Caboodle.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Whoever mentioned Starbucks Refreshers...
I don't have much love for Starbucks, but I did find myself in one a couple of days ago with a thirst for iced tea. I ordered the iced tea/lemonade drinky thingy. Good Cod. It tasted like 10 different kinds of ass. Never again.
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!
Submitted by super8atefilm on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:39pm.
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Athina on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:41pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 12:57pm.
Submitted by Athina on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 12:50pm.
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No, Taylor Swift is simply more marketable, that's all.
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Ahhh.. I see what you're saying, I though you might have gone mad on me:D Yes I guess you can never underestimate the buying power on the tween market. Adele is only a year older but seems 10 years older in maturity.
I can appreciate you thinking Adele's she's boring but I'm sure her next album won't be so "my boyfriend left me and I'm sitting on the couch crying eating ice cream getting bigger" It will be about getting laid and living the good life.
This is the FIRST and only time, I and many other gay guys (including the ones Taylor dated) have seen Taylor's pussy.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:25pm.
"you should have seen the fatass mom jean wearin wimminz out there in their black and white cow print pajamas... it was a fucking STAMPEDE!!!!!"
you should have started shouting out Dlisted user names and watched to see if anyone turned around ;-P
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Not a whole lot of talent in that bunch.
Damn lotta money. Still they are not particularly happy people. Taylor Swift complains non stop.
Submitted by youarestupid on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:58pm.
and then sing about it, and trick rich tweens to buy your shit songs.
I can't help it...I like RiRi. They LOVE her in Turkey and I heard her music the whole time I was there. Some of her songs are just fun...I know, I know.
Love Adele.
Saw the video of the Boyfriend song by the Biebs when I was in the hotel..so annoying. JT did it better, hotter and by not looking like a girl.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:53pm.
and then turn a blind eye when you walk in on them sucking another dude's dick.
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No, you write all about it on your Lisa Frank stationary, put it in an envelope, and seal it with a sparkly banana sticker
Also why is Taylor looking more asian as every day goes by.