Hot Slut Of The Day!
No, Lynn is not today's Hot Slut for choosing to drink her hot beverage of choice out of an "I'd Rather Be Drinking Tequila" mug, but she should be. Lynn is today's Hot Slut for shamelessly going on TLC's Strange Sex (the #1 reason why Clorox should come out with a brain-cleansing version of their bleach) and opening herself up (pun intended) about her... Well, I'll give you this quote and let you guess what Lynn is opening up about:
"In a sense it would be like having your hand in a glove originally, and now throwing it into pudding."
If that's how it is, then Michelle Duggar must have the Jell-O pudding factory complete with ALL the loading docks up in there. Lynn went on Strange Sex, because after popping out two kids (the second one might've come out sideways, according to her husband), her sugar walls melted and stretched into a silo full of taco meat. Lynn's husband of 39 years, Jonny, eloquently says that sexing on his wife is like throwing a baseball down a hallway. Ole' Jonny should probably get his dick situation checked out, because I've seen a lot of peens and I don't think I've ever seen one that's shaped like a baseball and bounces off of walls and shit.
So because Lynn's coochie burps sound like the echo sounds one makes when gargling creamed beef in a cave, she went to the doctor to get her hymen wall re-installed. I know, maybe Lynn's husband should get his dick pumped up instead. If you can't get into Lynn talking about her chocha like it's something you buy at Modell's Sporting Goods, then get into your gorgeous Gene Simmons hair.
Lynn's pudding cup pussy really should've been HSTOD in honor of Bill Cosby's 75th birthday and all. :/
via Buzzfeed
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Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 10:45pm.
boredasfuckyo: You can still do kegels even if you've never been penetrated/your hymen is still intact! Those muscles also get a workout when you orgasm, and you don't need to be penetrated to do that, either.
I'm just saying if you work out the muscles, they will be stronger. And just like when you're in bed for a few days with the flu or whatever, your legs will be weak. But then you build up your strength.
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I hope you didn't mean to this degree.
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/06/04/kitty-lifter-mnsfw/#comments
o_0
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
I've gone through vaginal birth and I still use the smallest size Tampax. The doctor in the video explained that the lady's vagina had to be lifted and reattached to the muscles because it was like a blanket that had been kicked off and scrunched to the foot of the bed. Michael also stated that the husband said their 2nd child "might" have come out sideways. Giving birth while lying on your back is the absolute worst position for both mother and child except for being upside down. Also, I breastfed, and that literally stimulates your uterus and vagina to tighten. It's like having mini orgasms without the sexual tension. My mother had a friend who had 6 children and lousy bladder control because of it. She did her Kegels religiously but it did not help because the problem was that her uterus was hanging over her bladder. Finally she went in for a hysterectomy (and died). Another friend of hers had 3 kids and 3 miscarriages with the same bladder problems. Her surgeon merely lifted the uterus and reattached it to her abdominal muscles. If you're in good shape, take care of yourself, have a doctor you trust, and wait until the absolute last minute before going to the hospital so they have less time to fuck with you then you should be just fine.
boredasfuckyo: You can still do kegels even if you've never been penetrated/your hymen is still intact! Those muscles also get a workout when you orgasm, and you don't need to be penetrated to do that, either.
I'm just saying if you work out the muscles, they will be stronger. And just like when you're in bed for a few days with the flu or whatever, your legs will be weak. But then you build up your strength.
(And it probably happens that some women have traumatic tearing that needs to be repaired and I'm not dissing that)
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 2:59pm.
The bagina is muscular and like any other muscle it gets stronger with exercise and can atrophy with disuse.
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I don't think the latter would be the case for a virgin. My lotus hasn't uh blossomed yet, so I don't think something that's never been put to use yet could decline or decrease in tightness. Lmao!
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 2:59pm.
Mine is better than ever because I did Kegels before and after and whenever I think of it. Just as you can Get your abs back after them being stretched your vagina can be stronger. It just takes a little work.
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Unless your abdominal muscles separate, then doing situps only make it more prominent. You have to have surgery to fix it. Maybe this is similar. Freaky though.
When is this on? I can never seem to find any new shows of this!
Bizzare!
That's scary. Can the coochie really "fall down" after childbirth? I gave birth vaginally, but I didn't experience any change down there. I'm small, and down there I guess I am also small. Then again, my husband is no pencil dick. Anyone else think that maybe, just maybe, this could be another ploy for women to feel like shit about their bodies?
haha I didn't stop the video after Lynn, so it kept playing video after video and I just kept watching. UNTIL the breast milk guy LOL FML people are strange.
Speaking for myself, childbirth didn't wreck my bits. And I have three kids born naturally. The bagina is muscular and like any other muscle it gets stronger with exercise and can atrophy with disuse.
Mine is better than ever because I did Kegels before and after and whenever I think of it. Just as you can Get your abs back after them being stretched your vagina can be stronger. It just takes a little work.
Oh, and sex is better post-childbirth too.
"Sexing his wife is like throwing a baseball down a hallway" (??) "it's "stretched into a silo wall full of taco meat" (again: ???)
Whaaaa????? Simma down with the similes and metaphors MK cuz you're confusing me!
Her vaginal canal is like the Lincoln Tunnel? Is that what you mean, MK? Even if it is, why is his peen bouncing around in there? Shouldn't it just be falling out?
*scratching head*
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Don't google prolapsed uterus, just sayin'
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"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" Steven Wright
Stick to Tequila honey
I'm guessin, aforementioned ladyproblem is why they invented anal sex.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
I wonder if she tried exercises or Ben-Wa balls?
"So because Lynn's coochie burps sound like the echo sounds one makes when gargling creamed beef in a cave"
ahahahahhahahaha MKKKKKKKKKKK
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
2 C-sections here and I'm not sad about that at all. I was afraid of my vadge getting all loose. Not for him, but for ME. Only bad thing is the scar tissue. But I had a hysterectomy after the two C's, so I've been cut three times in the same place. C'est la vie.
I agree to the person who said she should just give oral. Having the hymen reattached is bullshit. I guess mine grew back after my first time (small dick) and when I did it again after a year, let's just say it was traumatizing for the poor guy. Shame, because he was packing.
I've never birthed any babies, but I've often wondered how it affects the ladyparts. Does it always loosen? Is there sometimes no change? One woman told me it was just as tight, but "moved around" (?)and another woman said she was tighter and stronger post-birth. Whatevs. I shall continue my fam's tradition of adoption.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll hewa
As Edina Monsoon would say, she just had her swinging saloon doors tightened. So stupid to make it sound so exotic as its a very common procedure ("A and P repair" is the less exotic term for "vaginal reconstruction la dee dah").
I don't get why this is so strange. Women have "vaginal rejuvination" surgery all the time now. God, I hate the term "vaginal rejuvination." It's like you're sending your cooter off to a day spa or something.
Submitted by loopygorilla :
This woman in Britain said after she got her Vajin sealed, she had trouble fitting a tampon in there, that's how tight she was, and her bushand was like gigidy gigidy over it.
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She needs to use Tampax Pearl variety and really focus on relaxing 'Gina. Works for mmmmmy... "friend", yeah, my friend, who never even needed that surgery. :D
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 12:13pm.
plus she can't orgasm if its butt sex....well at least thats what i think, but im a ghey so i dont know how the female lady horny bits function.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 12:12pm.
Then he should stop whingeing and get hisself a bigger dick.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 12:09pm.
lol but what if her husband doesnt like the view from the back???
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 12:06pm.
Look, she's willing to have tequila at breakfast. How difficult can it be?
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 11:44am.
i dont think they have discussed the difficult brown.
Submitted by turnelbup on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 11:32am.
LMAO your post had me cackling.
Too early, too cheery to watch any of this. Maybe they should stick to butt sex?
This is weird and most vaginas snap back after a kid. Even two. She probably had something else going on. I hate how people assume after vaginal births your pussy is like the grand canyon. And why did she have her hymen done and not just vaginal rejuvenation. What's the point of the hymen?
I can see her wanting to get her vadge fixed if it was falling down, BUT, to get re-hymenized just so her hubby can bust her cherry again? That's like a dude having his foreskin re-attached so the mohel can slice it off again. Stupid.
Clearly this chick doesn't give Johnny oral, otherwise, there'd be no issue, no "cold showers". You can tighten your mouth as much as you need to. I don't understand chicks who don't give oral. Double stupid. Grow up, Bitches...
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
I thought this was going to be some bitch who likes fisting when I first read her quote.
Kinda disappointed.
Yeah..I was eating oatmeal when I read the pudding part. Fortunately I've been reading this blog so long I'm desensitized to most things. lol
Then I read this: "So because Lynn's coochie burps sound like the echo sounds one makes when gargling creamed beef in a cave.." and actually imagined what gargling shit on a shingle in a cave might sound like..I spat my oatmeal! Hahahaha!
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
I think the "I'd rather be drinking tequila" mug should be HSOTD. (Less nasty; no over-share penalties...)
And no, natural birthing of two babies doesn't do that unless something went DRASTICALLY wrong.
*Looks at chocolate vanilla pudding*...I will not let these assholes sully the deliciousness that is pudding! Atleast she looks better than the broad who's husband was addicted to suckling on her lactating teet.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 11:01am.
Lol you sum it up sooo eloquently :)
but we dnt have enough talk about dicks??? weird...
TLC--the lewdest channel. Exploitation central. Is it a bunch of closeted former frat guys who make the "programming decisions" at that cum basket television station? I swear, most Americans do not need this woman to *share* her secrets on national television. Private therapist, anyone?
On the other hand, thanks for 'splainin it MK, so I don't have to watch!
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
ha ha ha and I'm sitting here wishing I can have a VBAC when my doctors are telling me I'm probably going to have a C...I want so bad to push but what am I talking about...2 extra weeks maternity leave, awesome drugs, and most importantly, tight cooch!
It was stinky pussy day the other day here, and today it's big pussy day! Any of you guys have big pussy stories?
I wonder if her husband has resorted to traveling the Hershey highway.
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We must trust our own thinking. Trust where we're going. And get the job done.
-Wilma Mankiller
TMI....
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
but she could have done tricks like sticking a pineapple up there like Paris Hilton did in the Whore Off in that South Park episode...people would pay big money to see that isht! :D
UVY - exactly!! You don't like it? Oh, okay no problem. *puts a lock on it*
Kegels, ladies.
I think stuff like this happens to ladies who birth via the vagina. My friend just had something tightened recently in her punani (as Whoopie Goldberg calls it).
I am fortunate to be a c-section momma --
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Sweetas- I think it's the self-preservation that kicks in. He who insults the pussay is doomed to never stick anything in it again.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
LMAO Uvy my (now ex) hubby said the same thing. So either it's true, or they are just smart men.
That doctor has such bug eyes from looking at too many wrecked pussys, what a line of work to be in! I would rather shovel shit than fix massacred vaginas...