Vanessa Paradis Blames The End Of VaJohnny On Amber Heard....
This piece of gossip comes from the chronicle of journalistic integrity that is the British tabloid Now Magazine (via DM), so it's obviously made of one hundred percent truthfulness and you should submit it to the CNN tip line after you're done here. No joke, it was probably on CNN this morning. So, you know how the tabloids painted Vanessa Paradis as a crusty, nagging, fun-hating witch who drove Johnny Depp into Amber Heard's twat of solace by whining at him about everything? Well, a source tells Now that Vanessa has stopped screaming at Johnny and is cursing Amber Heard's name instead. I feel a cover of "The Boy Is Mine" called "The Hobo Is Mine" by Vanessa & Amber coming on. The source puts it like this:
"Vanessa's devastated that Johnny's dumped her. She blames Amber and calls her a man-stealing, two-bit nobody and has vowed to not let her anywhere near their children."
A two-bit nobody? Since when does Vanessa talk like a character from Mama's Family? Vanessa should've went all the way by calling her a two-bit nobody tramp harlot from around the way.
Since I only look at the superficial layer of any situation, I see shit like this. Vanessa had Johnny at the height of his freshness and supreme hotness, and Amber Heard, if she's doing him, has him when he's looking like the way he's looking now. It's kind of like if I ate a freshly made Double Double from In-N-Out twenty minutes ago and started foaming at the mouth with jealous rage when somebody sat next to me and started nibbling on a half-eaten, stale, moldy, Double Double they found in the dumpster. Okay, it's nothing like that, because I'd still make jealous eyes at a trick eating a rotten Double Double and I'd still hit current day Johnny Depp. Scratch everything I said and just look at these pictures from the Paris Cinema Festival of Vanessa looking like the Evil Spirit from the Care Bears movie.
• 
Vanessa, time to call Joe le Taxi and Move the Fuck on.....
Sorry M.E. but your man has lost le chaude!
;p
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I bet he's never going to be happy with anybody but her. Like Sharon Stone and Steve Buscemi in Casino.
What will be amusing is when domestic trash like Parasite or Blohan hover to him.
I don't care. Sex is sex. If 2 people stop having sexual moments together, one or both will look for passion outside the relationship. Fact of life we all know this.
............................
Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
LOL Lucifer
i agree with you, this is the most boring split ever.
Missanthrope - you are absolutely right. And I think most people know the lions share of the blame belongs to the one in the relationship. However I think it's easier to blame the other woman instead of thinking that someone you thought loved and cared about you could ever do that to you without being under the spell of some evil succubus.
**************************************************************
Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
IF Johnny cheated, Vanessa has every right to blame him AND Amber (or whoever the bitch was). Not only is it the MAN's fault for dipping his dick in OPP, it's the OPP's fault for knowingly fucking on a taken peen.
I agree, you can't "steal" a man(or a woman) if he/she is happy.
***********************************************
The lava of the volcano shot up hot from under the sea
One thing leads to another and you made an island of me
Submitted by BangoSkank on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:46pm.
Yeah, Amber has always refused to put a label on her sexuality, but has been involved with a woman for some time.... Depp looks like he reeks, but she is hot as shit. That's all I got.
------------------------------
3some with St Angie
______________________________________________
How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Bet Amber gets bored with him in a quick minute.
I like the word 'harlot'. Its right up there with trollop. I think we need to start bringing these words back :). Has nayone even seen Amber and Johnny together since these rumours started? And I mean, for a non PR event. You would've thought if this were true, we would've seen pics of one of them leaving the other's place all ruffled looking.
And if they are seeing each other, I call dibs on the t-shirt she'll wear as a shout out insult to Vanessa a la Julie Roberts. My shirt will say 'ya Heard?' Alright. I'm exciting stage left now...
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:41pm.
I know I'm going to have my ass handed to me for my opinion--so keep in mind this is only my opinion... I can not stand women who attack the "other woman" for "stealing" their man. If a man is in a relationship and has a family, he knows right from wrong
------------------------------
I AGREE! I went to a pretty redneck high school adn the girls were always fighting the other girls for their "man" um no.. dump his ass.. key his car.. get tested for disease and move the fuck on.
______________________________________________
How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Yeah, Amber has always refused to put a label on her sexuality, but has been involved with a woman for some time.... Depp looks like he reeks, but she is hot as shit. That's all I got.
Edit
He will always have a special place in my heart for Fear and Loathing, though....
honey, after a decade or so, all men get to be tired asswipes and we women should routinely replace them. Vanessa's shouldn't be surprised...
johnny's not looking so fuckable these days...if i were amber, i'd keep licking on the chicks...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
she looks better here
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
and I have no idea who this Amber ho is but that flowered Hefty bag she has on is NOT the look. :-P
Vanessa looks like she should be under a bridge hoarding her precious.
Vanessa is just upset because she would floss her gap with Johnny's peen.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
I know I'm going to have my ass handed to me for my opinion--so keep in mind this is only my opinion... I can not stand women who attack the "other woman" for "stealing" their man. If a man is in a relationship and has a family, he knows right from wrong. Johnnys dick didn't accidentally fall into Ambers no-no. No one puts a gun to a man's penis and forces him to cheat. He and he alone is responsible for the monogamy in the relationship. Having said this, no I do not think its okay for people to have affairs with/cheat with people who are in relationships. Both parties are wrong. But in this case, Vanessa needs to focus her anger on Depp. If this garbage is even true....
I thought she liked the lady area.
______________________________________________
How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
The distance she can squirt water through those front teeth must be record shattering.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I just realized that Amber kind of looks like Kristen Stewart.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Amber is bi-sexual if I remember correctly, but has been in a lesbian relationship for a while now.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:35pm.
Wooh wooh. I thought Amber was a full fledge lesbian?
**************
hooking up with depp is a good career move. she's be superfamous superfast.
I thought Amber was a gayelle. Johnny has the power to turn women straight? I would have thought that years ago, but not anymore....his teeth, and he looks like he smells to high heaven.
***********************************************
My heart's made of parts of all that's around me
And that's why the devil just can't get around me
She's starring in a movie called "Je me suis fait tout petit" that opens today, so maybe this is just hype?
Gymkhana Five, Ultimate Urban Playground: San Francisco
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:34pm.
Her gap teeth are disgusting. Sorry.
***************
I agree and I'm not sorry. She should have fixed that a long time ago.
Wooh wooh. I thought Amber was a full fledge lesbian?
FUnny how Hollywood actors switch it up. He must have some powers to have her swore off the sapphic in her.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Translation: the tabs were expecting The Divorce to keep them busy for months, and now they have space to fill.
johnny depp looks so weird and dresses like a hobo. i don't get his attraction at all. he looks like he smells.
Her gap teeth are disgusting. Sorry.
I thought Amber has a girlfriend?
If I was Vanessa I'd say, "she's welcome to my seconds".
Ugh. Not this shit again.