Vanessa Paradis Blames The End Of VaJohnny On Amber Heard....
This piece of gossip comes from the chronicle of journalistic integrity that is the British tabloid Now Magazine (via DM), so it's obviously made of one hundred percent truthfulness and you should submit it to the CNN tip line after you're done here. No joke, it was probably on CNN this morning. So, you know how the tabloids painted Vanessa Paradis as a crusty, nagging, fun-hating witch who drove Johnny Depp into Amber Heard's twat of solace by whining at him about everything? Well, a source tells Now that Vanessa has stopped screaming at Johnny and is cursing Amber Heard's name instead. I feel a cover of "The Boy Is Mine" called "The Hobo Is Mine" by Vanessa & Amber coming on. The source puts it like this:
"Vanessa's devastated that Johnny's dumped her. She blames Amber and calls her a man-stealing, two-bit nobody and has vowed to not let her anywhere near their children."
A two-bit nobody? Since when does Vanessa talk like a character from Mama's Family? Vanessa should've went all the way by calling her a two-bit nobody tramp harlot from around the way.
Since I only look at the superficial layer of any situation, I see shit like this. Vanessa had Johnny at the height of his freshness and supreme hotness, and Amber Heard, if she's doing him, has him when he's looking like the way he's looking now. It's kind of like if I ate a freshly made Double Double from In-N-Out twenty minutes ago and started foaming at the mouth with jealous rage when somebody sat next to me and started nibbling on a half-eaten, stale, moldy, Double Double they found in the dumpster. Okay, it's nothing like that, because I'd still make jealous eyes at a trick eating a rotten Double Double and I'd still hit current day Johnny Depp. Scratch everything I said and just look at these pictures from the Paris Cinema Festival of Vanessa looking like the Evil Spirit from the Care Bears movie.


God, The James Woods and Steve Buscemi comment - I laughed my fucking ass off!!! They would make a darling couple, don't ya think???
I don't give two fucks about any of these losers in this superficial mess, just my opinion, no worries.
Just let it go! It's over, it's gone just like his looks!!! Just think of that child support GRAVY TRAIN and it won't sting so bad.
fucking faux lipstick lesbians always ruin relationships.
they fuck around with men and women, they are bad, just like bi guys.
thats why i told my friend heather, girl dont go licking faux lezzies, cuz they always go back to dick and girl you might a mean licker and scissor-er, but you dont have a dick.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:59pm.
OFF TOPIC: The Donald has gotten HUGE!!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2171634/Maybe-try-EATING-greens-...
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Aww hell, Donald has pancake diaper booty in that second picture. His hair looks like a combination of Cotton Candy and that pink fiberglass installation shit they put under houses and trailers and shit.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
I don't think that cheating is always black and white. Personally, I don't think that most people go out with this mindset of, "Yeah, I'm gonna cheat on my spouse now." Sometimes, things DO just happen.
But not always.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:41pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally: "I agree, you can't "steal" a man(or a woman) if he/she is happy."
You most certainly can. If you make them happier than their spouse does.
Fact.
I dunno about all that...there was a time not too long ago when a handsome, successful young man was for some reason interested in me...I thought he was gorgeous and above and beyond that, I had that connection shit with him, like we would totally dig each other if we allowed this thing to happen. I never even touched him, not even a handshake, because and only because I love my husband and my family more than I need to experience new dick. Believe me, it wasn't easy to say no at all.
If you get hungry, I'm sure there's plenty of cheese hiding underneath those dirty sweaty balls.
Poor Vanessa is the Brandi Glanville to Amber Whored's Leann Rimes.
And Johnny is a nasty man slut for doing that to his wife. Dumb one trick pony grease ball.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
<"Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:06pm.">
Ooh, right, it was James Woods. He just did such a good job playing Steve Buscemi.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:48pm.
EXACTLY!!!!
Besides, this chick is all into the charade! She gets publicity. She might have been in lots of movise but nobody could tell her from a hollywood line up.
This put her on the map.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
I feel badly for Vanessa. 14 years and two, children, her BEST years mind you, and Johnny dumps her for an upstart starlet who apparently has been completely forgettable in all of her roles.
Also, Vanessa has been an A-list celebrity in France since she was 14. She doesn't need Johnny.
Amber, however...yeah. She does.
I'll always admire Johnny's acting, but I just CAN'T with this.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Well, Amber Heard had to do something to get her career on track after The Playboy Club was cancelled after 3 episodes! She's hot shit right now thanks to this.
Fuck you Amber, it's Wino Forever <3.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:48pm.
That's how you can tell a man has a new love interest. He starts getting into shape and slapping cologne on his balls and stuff.
haaaaaaaaaaa. Very funny. In a perfect world, you can tell a man has a new love interest because he tells you, then breaks up.
Gymkhana Five, Ultimate Urban Playground: San Francisco
OFF TOPIC: The Donald has gotten HUGE!!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2171634/Maybe-try-EATING-greens-...
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Sorry but this item sounds like bullshit to me, just from the clownish writing alone. I don't think Jamber is happening either, other than they're friendly.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:48pm.
That's how you can tell a man has a new love interest. He starts getting into shape and slapping cologne on his balls and stuff.
Johnny still looks like cold diarrhea.
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Hahahaha. You're right!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/11/2012
That's why we're all worried. I make Mr. Hekki happy, but there's probably some whore who could make him happier with daily BJs and bigger boobs and an interest in football. I just hope he doesn't meet her.
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Do you mean its up to both women AND men to make each other happy?
It's impossible to be 100% happy in a long term relationship, but that's where integrity and respect comes in.
There will always be a better looking, younger, smarter person in the wings. The fact is some people excuse cheating by blaming it on their partner, rather than taking responsibility. If you're not "happy" in a relationship then leave, but don't drag the other person into your convoluted mess.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:33pm.
Vanessa Paradis is a fug nobody herself
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Thank you! But I guess just because she's skinny and French, she's "beautiful". Lauren Hutton has a gap as big as Van, but she's beautiful. Always has been and always will be. Vanessa's just blah.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Laquita and lislop, I agree, too. If he really WAS in love and whatever, he'd be looking clean and happy.
Look at Alex Baldwin. He lost a bunch of weight and started getting macho and feisty with the paps. He's preening to impress his new love.
That's how you can tell a man has a new love interest. He starts getting into shape and slapping cologne on his balls and stuff.
Johnny still looks like cold diarrhea.
WTF? Mama's Family was THE WORST show ever in the history of tv!!!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by parissucksliterally: "I agree, you can't "steal" a man(or a woman) if he/she is happy."
You most certainly can. If you make them happier than their spouse does.
Fact.
That's why we're all worried. I make Mr. Hekki happy, but there's probably some whore who could make him happier with daily BJs and bigger boobs and an interest in football. I just hope he doesn't meet her.
anyway what about Mama's Family? Was Amber in it? she's not that old, is she?
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:19pm.
I was totally acting a FOOL yesterday morning on my commute to work rocking out and dancing in my seat too "My Perogative". BB version.
is there any other? high five *smack* :D
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:22pm.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:36pm.
How do you suppose she "fix" them?
Braces aren't going to close a gap that big. The only way she could get rid of it would be to have her teeth removed and get implants, or have veneers put on the front ones. The latter would look ridiculous by the way.
they have some filler stuff they put in to close the gap. my mom had it done a billion years ago and it looked very, very natural.
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:06pm.
PR stunt all the way. As some of you mentioned, there are no pics of Amber and Depp together besides movie promos.
He must be deep shit in drugs.
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Agreed!!! This whole Amber affair is a ruse. There's something more sinister and/ another woman he's trying to protect. Don't doubt he's gotten into drugs and/ alcohol again.
Vanessa Paradis is a fug nobody herself, the only reason most people know who her ass is, is because of Johnny Depp, and whatever career she may have had in entertainment or modeling or whatever the fuck she did before wasn't as well known by most(and probably still isn't) until she hooked up with Johnny. So she needs to shit her skinny Beaver toothed bullfrogged face ass down. Also, Johnny Depp is over-rated.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Ok, so after some research seems I am clueless. Amber has been in many movies and shows that I have seen and or watch, but I have no recolition of her in any of them.
:/
I loved Mama's family too, though Iola bugged me.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:41pm.
I know I'm going to have my ass handed to me for my opinion--so keep in mind this is only my opinion... I can not stand women who attack the "other woman" for "stealing" their man. If a man is in a relationship and has a family, he knows right from wrong
Don't take this the wrong way, as it is just my opinion, but sounds to me--you might have experienced being the "other woman" I've known a few and they always wipe the blame off themselves.
The wife is a bitch, she doesn't put out, she nags etc... It's both cheaters that are to blame.
If you're going to cheat, get the fuck out first.
Submitted by SteelCityGirl on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:22pm.
Mama's Family was the best show EVER!
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Mama's Family is THE SHIT!!!!! When I was in high school, my sister and I would watch it everyday after school on TBS. FUCKING LOVE THAT SHOW!!
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
The only thing I've seen Amber in is "The Playboy Club", which I actually liked. She is GORGEOUS.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:36pm.
How do you suppose she "fix" them?
Braces aren't going to close a gap that big. The only way she could get rid of it would be to have her teeth removed and get implants, or have veneers put on the front ones. The latter would look ridiculous by the way.
Her teeth aren't disgusting; she's actually a beautiful woman.
By all means though, keep playing the internet tough guy - and keep not being sorry! So edgy!
Loser.
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.
Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:15pm.
she IS naughty by nature....
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Mama's Family was the best show EVER!
Amber Heard is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Johnny Depp is still hot in my book. Together, Hearpp is unreal. The Jolie-Pitts are probably constructing a plan to take them down as we speak.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:15pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:50pm.
IF Johnny cheated, Vanessa has every right to blame him AND Amber (or whoever the bitch was). Not only is it the MAN's fault for dipping his dick in OPP, it's the OPP's fault for knowingly fucking on a taken peen.
never pegged you as a Naughty By Nature fan. ;)
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:D
See, I am full of surprises!
I was totally acting a FOOL yesterday morning on my commute to work rocking out and dancing in my seat too "My Perogative". BB version.
Dang Hubbard zombies.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Just like Angieho sucked the hot out of Brad Pitt, Vanessa sucked the hot out of Depp, the minute he started dating her, he started looking like shit. Lame...
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:11pm.
DWM,
I was going to type out your name but my phone keeps auto correcting "Whore". Lmao
My phone is a prude.
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It's the $cientologists tapping into your shit!
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:50pm.
IF Johnny cheated, Vanessa has every right to blame him AND Amber (or whoever the bitch was). Not only is it the MAN's fault for dipping his dick in OPP, it's the OPP's fault for knowingly fucking on a taken peen.
never pegged you as a Naughty By Nature fan. ;)
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:06pm.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:56pm.
I bet he's never going to be happy with anybody but her. Like Sharon Stone and Steve Buscemi in Casino.
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James Woods
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Exactly, like James Woods and Steve Buscemi
DWM,
I was going to type out your name but my phone keeps auto correcting "Whore". Lmao
My phone is a prude.
Xoxoxox
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:05pm.
Regardless who cheats, it is the woman's fault... FACT!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:56pm.
I bet he's never going to be happy with anybody but her. Like Sharon Stone and Steve Buscemi in Casino.
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James Woods
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
PR stunt all the way. As some of you mentioned, there are no pics of Amber and Depp together besides movie promos.
He must be deep shit in drugs.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
this is why you shouldn't let your husband make a movie with a faux lesbian.
and if you do, make sure the lesbian looks like rosie o or ellen denegerate not amber heard.
Regardless who cheats, it is the woman's fault... FACT!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:01pm.
She needs to call Lenny Kravitz and party it up.
For realz!
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Can I be part of that party. No shame.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
snowy - I don't care, he's still hot.
She needs to call Lenny Kravitz and party it up.
For realz!
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.