Over one year before psycho killer (qu’est que c’est!) Luka Rocco Magnotta was arrested in Berlin for killing and dismembering a Chinese exchange student, the Barbi Twins, Ron Jeremy and an American animal-rights group put together a sting operation to catch that crazy bitch for viciously torturing kittens on videos he posted to the internet. Somebody please memorize that sentence and pitch it to David Lynch, because that mess needs to be a movie.
The Globe and Mail says that the animal-loving Barbi Twins and the animal abuser hunters at Rescue Ink asked Ron Jeremy to catch Magnotta in a scheme I hope they called To Catch A Kitten Predator. Since Magnotta was a bottom shelf porn actor in Canada, the plan was for Ron Jeremy to lure him to Hollywood with promises of a role in a big-budget porn movie. Once Magnotta got to the set, the Barbi Twins would’ve teetered out on exquisite lucite heels, beat him with their justice-serving tits and then the dudes from Rescue Ink would’ve turned that evil kitten murderer over to the police. But since Ron Jeremy is all dick with zero balls, he backed out. In an interview last year, Ron explained it like this:
“That’s a little bit out of my league, don’t you think? It’s like an episode from some TV show. The [guy] comes to the set with lube in one hand and his schmeckle in the other thinking he has a job, and the cops tackle him to the ground. That’s good for the movies. That doesn’t work in real life. I told Sia [one half of the gorgeous Barbi Twins] I’m willing to do things and help, do public service announcements, or whatever it takes. But I’m not a law-enforcement agent. How do I catch somebody?”
Ron said that he was completely into the plan until Sia Barbi warned him that Magnotta might be capable of fucking up humans too (she was right). There were plans to set up a fake porn casting call to bring Magnotta in, but those plans were farted away after Ron said that he was too busy. Rescue Ink eventually abandoned all plans to catch that crazy even though they spent a long time gathering information on Magnotta to give to the police.
And that’s your hourly dose of WHAT IN THE FUCK. The whole scheme is ridiculous, but I wish Ron Jeremy would’ve went through with it. It could’ve (but probably not) stopped Magnotta’s reign of terror and my wish of waking up to the headline “The Barbi Twins Awarded Badges of Bravery By President Obama” would’ve come true.
And if the Barbi Twins still want to catch a kitten abuser, there’s always Martha “Kitten Face Eater” Stewart….