At 728 pounds, Pauline Potter only agreed to take the Guinness Book of World Records title of the World’s Heaviest Living Woman because she thought it would shame her into losing a major dollop of chunk. It didn’t work and shoving 10,000 calories a day into her eatin’ hole only made her fatter and fatter. I think my eyeballs gained 1 pound each just from reading that. That was almost a year ago and just when Pauline Potter thought she was going to eat her way to a permanent date with a quadruple-wide coffin, a savior in the form of her ex-husband’s dick came a calling.
Pauline’s ex-husband Alex had seen her picture in the paper and seeing her again after 3 years made him want to wade in her fupa layers of ecstasy. Alex paid a visit to his ex-wife and as soon as she saw him, the gallons of panty pudding came gushing out. (No, I’m sure it’s actual panty pudding and you can buy it at your local Kroger’s.) Pauline tells Closer (via DM) that Alex did 100 push-ups to build up his arm strength, strapped an oxygen mask to his face, held up her great wall of fupa and went in. Alex humped on her so good that she didn’t want him to stop. They did it six times that day. Pauline’s mouth can’t get enough of eating Big Macs and her coochie can’t get enough of eating her ex-husband’s peen.
Pauline’s words to Closer about this are so damn romantically beautiful that it’s like the writer of 50 Shades of Grey wrote them herself:
“I can’t move much in bed, but I burn 500 calories a session – it’s great exercise just jiggling around. I hadn’t had sex in three years, but we did it six times! He took charge as I couldn’t move much, but he was so attentive. I orgasm every time. We love foreplay and massages and, as well as full sex, I pleasure Alex, too. My bed is strengthened and, although I can’t buy sexy lingerie, I drape a nice sheet over me.”
“I drape a nice sheet over me” is the most romantic line of poetry I’ve ever read.
Pauline still gobbles up Big Macs and nuggets, but her marathon sexercise sessions with Alex have melted 98 pounds from her body in the past 7 months. Pauline is hoping she can fuck her way to her goal weight of 532 pounds. Alex is happy to help even though it could cost him his LIFE!
“It’s hard to position her and find her pleasure spots as she has a lot of fat in the pelvic area. But it turns me on knowing she’s satisfied. Although once, when she got on top, I couldn’t breathe.”
There are really no words for this, so I’ll just say, keep fucking that chicken, Pauline. Actually, that just gave me a visual I didn’t need today. I should’ve stopped at “no words.”