Wednesday, July 11th 2012
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For July 10th!
Thanks, but I asked where could I catch a Checker Cab, not a checkered crab. - OurMissC
Runners-up:
Tommy Girl's shoe-lift tester also moved to NYC as part of the divorce settlement. = nachomama
The city has had some cutbacks recently so the subway police no longer need to wear their uniforms..or actually BE police. - Whamo
After KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN announced her 3rd pregnancy, that was a bit too much for SCOTT DISICK to take... - Chris Knight
via Buzzfeed
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Bob always new he was different...he just couldnt place his finger on it.
While Saturday Night Live is on hiatus, Bill Hader indulges in his first love, jumping stilts and lycra onesies.
New York, New York - a helluva town
My nips are up and my pantsuit is down
You can ride my hole if I just turn around
New York, New York - it's a helluva town!
Seth, New York's hottest club is OhNoYouDi-int. They've got penis shaped maps, be-checkered twinks on bath salts on stilts...
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What do we want?! A cure for Tourettes! When do we want it? C*ck sh*t c*nt f*ck!
"Stefon, what can a family traveling to New York City do this weekend?"
"Well, don't fret, this weekend New York has a new club opening up! It's located in the lower Manhattan borough and it's called Subway Blues. It offers homeless men jerking off, escaped asylum patients yelling obscenities at you and a chubby guy constantly trying to push you off the platform towards a train that will never come."
In a dark deserted subway, hot wind in my hair
warm smell of urine, rising up from the air
up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering freak
my head grew heavy and and my sight grew dim
i had to stop for a leak
there he stood in the doorway
i heard a child yell
i thought to myself
this could be heaven or this could be hell
Jim Carrey's career is one confusing motherfucker sometimes.
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What do we want?! A cure for Tourettes! When do we want it? C*ck sh*t c*nt f*ck!
JARED LETO leads a double life at night...
After KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN announced her 3rd pregnancy, that was a bit too much for SCOTT DISICK to take...
NAC: I just love sick, dirty ol' NYC! I'm hoppin' on the subway home in 15 minutes. Yay!
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
Homeless man's Joker...
First he took Manhattan, then he'll take New York and most likely Berlin...
Everyone told Fred that Mimes on Stilts usually wear black and white stripes, but sadly he's dyslexic.
Well maybe TOM CRUISE can't talk to Suri about the Thetans, but nobody said anything about Stacy Jax ....
Scientologists are getting easier and easier to spot nowadays.
Stefon is pulling out all the stops for his next Weekend Update segment in the hope that he can keep Seth Meyers away from Live! With Kelly.
"Spare a dime? I was born without a butt."
The NYPD were skeptical when missing person Nick Stahl turned up in a NYC subway station claiming he had made his way all the way there from California using a metro card.
The episode in "Criminal Minds" when Spencer Reed becomes a criminal.....
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My heart's made of parts of all that's around me
And that's why the devil just can't get around me
You don't want to see the Upper Manhattan.
I thought that I was in the second circle of hell. But nope, according to this map.......I am only in Lower Manhattan.
Leland Somerhalder should have listened to Ian.
Let me check.....uh huh.....yes, I am happy to see you.
Tommy Gurrrl got lost while looking for some ice cream
THIS is why I wont use the subway!
Jim Carrey's "let me show you something" schtick started on the mean streets of New York.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Steve Buscemi's life-long dream of being a circus performer ended after his grande finale called "pitching a tent" failed to impress fans and landed him in jail instead.
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"If music be the food of love, play on." ~ William Shakespeare
Not a caption--
Am I the first to mention that map looks like a penis head? How have I never noticed that? Must be all the SEX in that photo, stirring my loins.
not one to let an opportunity pass him by, michael k remembered he has a step ladder at the house...
"I've had crabs. I've had lice. I've had the clap and that ain't nice. SO WHAT!?!?!?!"
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..."
"other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
While in New York Walter figured he'd check out the Subway.
Alex Potter demonstrates how he mounts his ex-wife.
Or:
Since the divorce, Tommy's given up on hiding his gay OR his lifts anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Metrocard he has is a pay-per-ride. 1 please!
Alexis Stewart is proof that Martha's advice only applies to puppies and kittens.
Bill Hader's checkered past finally comes to light.
Lower He's Patten
Leonard Cohen's original line was "first we take Manhattan, then we take a piss"
Republicans said this would happen once New York legalized gay marriage.
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"And it won't be a lion, a tin man and a scarecrow! It'll be you lying down, and ten men making you a scared ho.....Wizard of ASS!" - Betty White
"When I think about you, I touch myself."
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"And it won't be a lion, a tin man and a scarecrow! It'll be you lying down, and ten men making you a scared ho.....Wizard of ASS!" - Betty White
Don't worry. During their visits, Tom will guarantee Suri learns the Scientology way.
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"Good thing they found each other, or they would have ruined two other peoples' lives." - My Dad
"I'm a vegetarian. It's okay to eat the egg, because the cow doesn't take care of it." - Stupid Girl Sitting B
Jim Carrey preys on unsuspecting NYC tourists, asking if they want to see the secret "P Train."
Submitted by OurMissC on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 5:26pm.
Thanks, but I asked where could I catch a Checker Cab, not a checkered crab.
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HAHA @ this!!!!!!
Welcome to SLURPS located in a urine soaked subway exit in lower Manhattan...this clubs got everything...leftover Halloween candy,a masturbating pantomime on bath salts, bangs and a midget wearing a blonde wig with a yeast infection named Greta von Pusstren!
"Oh! You said you want to look at the MAP, not you want to see me fap. My bad!"
After the divorce blew the lid off Tommy Girl's alternate lifestyle, he was free to hit the ho stroll, dress as he liked, and no longer needed to hide the fact that he wore lifts.
The city has had some cutbacks recently so the subway police no longer need to wear their uniforms..or actually BE police
The Joker and Harley Quinn's love child roams the underbelly of Gotham in search of a rematch with Robin.
Bizarro Bill Hader.
day-um!
times are hard on the boulevard for ex-Calvin Klein models! :-O
Forrest Grunt
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.