The Time Mick Jagger Was Obsessed With Angie Jolie

In 1997, Angie Jolie played a stripper in the video for the Rolling Stones' "Anybody Seen My Baby?" and there's a rumor that shortly after shooting ended, they crotch-thrusted on each other while they were both married. In author Christopher Andersen's new book about Mick Jagger called “MICK: The Wild Life and Mad Genius of Jagger,” he co-signs that rumor and writes that Angie's hypnotic vagina put Mick in a trance and he probably would've dropped his wife at the time Jerry Hall for her if she asked. So that's how Angie got her Junior Home Wrecker League badge of honor.

Christopher writes that Angie didn't even want to do the Rolling Stones video, but her late mother Marcheline Bertrand convinced her to do it. Christopher makes it sound like Marcheline had a little Pimp Mama Kris in her, because she really wanted her then 22-year-old daughter to marry a 400-year-old zombie. Christopher writes (via NYDN):

Angie’s Jagger-obsessed mother, actress-producer Marcheline Bertrand, felt otherwise. Although Jolie was already married to British actor Jonny Lee Miller of “Trainspotting” fame and carrying on an affair with actor Timothy Hutton, Marche felt that her daughter needed a man like Mick.

“Marche loved Mick for Angie,” said Marcheline’s friend Lauren Taines. “She felt that he could teach her about fame and how to handle it.”

For Mick, a large part of Jolie’s appeal was her wild streak. “She scares me a little,” he said. “I like that.” Encouraged by Marcheline, who was determined to see her mercurial daughter marry him, Mick wasted no time pursuing Jolie once the cameras stopped rolling. At first she refused to return his phone calls, and, in standard fashion, the messages began to pile up on her machine: “Angelina, it’s Mick. Will you please, please call me?” “Miss Jolie, why aren’t you returning my calls?” “Angelina, I have got to speak to you. Call me.”

Angie finally gave in to Mick and tried to make her mom happy by flying to Florida to be with him. Fucking Mick didn't give Angie any satisfaction, but she still kept him around for the next two years and added him to her harem of revolving peen, which included Russell Crowe, Timothy Hutton, Billy Bob Thornton and Nicolas Cage. In 1999, Angie stopped toying with Mick's innocent heart and ended it with him for good.

I never really believed the Mick and Angie rumors, but only because I don't really want to picture them sucking on each other's mouth lips. It probably looked like four obese slugs having an orgy. Just NO. But if this is true, then it's a good thing Angie chose Billy Bob Thornton as her second husband, because it wouldn't have turned out well for us if she went with Mick instead. I mean, imagine their kids. Bitch would've popped out giant lips with legs. Again, just NO.