BREAKING: Katie Holmes Buys Milk
It's been exactly one week since Katie Holmes celebrated Independence Day early by overriding her internal hard drive thus taking back control of her brain from Tommy Girl, and so far she spent the day buying leche at the Whole Foods by her apartment in Chelsea. This is, of course, SIREN-BUSTING BREAKING NEWS, because a little over a week ago, Katie couldn't reach for milk without a Scientology handler zapping her in the hand with an electrocution saber before telling her that she should really buy a bag of barley and distilled water instead. Freedom definitely tastes like the opposite of barley water.
So, there's a million upon a million #tomkatastrophe stories out there and every time I read one, another one pops up. Can't somebody start a 24-hour cable channel where peen puppets act out all of these stories. That's a missed opportunity. Anyway, let's get this mess:
From TMZ - Being the bossy bottom that he is, Tommy Girl controlled every single part of Katie's life including her career. That's your cue to chap your vocal cords while letting out the longest DUUUUUUUH in history. Tommy wouldn't let the studio who distributed Thank You For Not Smoking use any pictures of Katie kissing Aaron Eckhart in their promo materials. Also, during the media tour for Batman Begins, Tommy chained Katie inside of his private jet and wouldn't allow her to fly with the rest of the cast. This "disgusted" Morgan Freeman. TMZ asked Morgan for a comment, but he was too busy not giving a fuck about all of this.
From TMZ - Some source says that despite what every whore is shouting, Katie not extending her contract with Tommy has nothing to do with Scientology. Katie's team is only using the Scientology shit to get at Tommy. Katie was practically one of L. Ron Hubbard's main homegirls and would go to meetings and audits by herself. Bitch probably only went because she'd rather burn her "Thetans" off in the sauna than look at Tommy's face at home. Also, I'd hardly call "Tommy controlling Katie's ability to walk via remote control" as Katie doing that shit on her own.
From Radar: Scientologists brainwashed Isabella and Connor into thinking that their mom Nicole Kidman is a sociopath. They were forced to sit in daily sessions where they were told over and over again that Nicole is nuts. Or the Scientologists just saved their words and tried to prove to Isabella and Connor that Nicole is crazy by showing them Bewitched on a loop. It worked, obviously.
From The Village Voice: SCIENTOLOGY CRUMBLING. The headline paired with a picture of Tommy and David Miscavige butching it up on bikes says it all.
From Radar: The President of Scientology's 27-year-old son mysteriously died from a fever 4 days ago and his mom, who quit the Church of Xenu in 2010, hasn't been allowed to see his body.
From The Village Voice: David Miscavige's wife Shelly hasn't been seen or heard from since 2007. Shelly went missing right after she started looking for a job without getting her master's permission first. Tony Ortega, VV's Scientology expert, thinks that maybe Scientology is holding Shelly in one of their compounds, but I'd like to think she pulled some Sleeping with the Enemy shit and is living under a new name in Cedar Falls.
From Radar: Scientologists are flooding major media websites and trying to get the anti-Xenu comments from commenters removed by reporting that shit to Google.
So basically, all of this has Scientologists losing their minds (more than usual) and the only Scientologist that is secretly happy about this is John Travolta. For the first time in weeks, bitches are sniffing up Tommy's Scientolohole and leaving John's itchy Scientolohole alone for now.
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Team Katie. Let the games begin...
It would be AWESOME for someone like her to completely expose that shit-tard religion for what it is...
Please take the Mormon racists out too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q6brMrFw0E
Fucking loons.
Long time ago I had a friend who was into car racing. She was at a track where both Paul Newman and Tom C were racing. She said one was a jerk and the other was a total sweetheart --- the sweethart wasn't Paul Newman. Just sayin...
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:07pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:00pm.
Ok, what in hippie loving hell is ORGANIC milk... straight from the cows tit or what? I thought milk was milk.
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If you get on your hands and knees and suck it right from the teat it turns you transgender FACT!
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hmmmmm, *checks panties*
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
Again with those hideous boots? They're becoming the new 'Britney boots', the ones she wore EVERY DAY before she went mental.
PMSL @ WHAMOOOOOO
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
"Or the Scientologists just saved their words and tried to prove to Isabella and Connor that Nicole is crazy by showing them Bewitched on a loop. It worked, obviously."
hahahahahahahaha, good one, MK.
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:02pm.
The sad part about this whole dog and pony show is for one Katie Holmes there are probably hundreds of no names that aren't lucky enough to have the protection of the public eye. Like that dudes wife going missing... no telling the shit these goat fucking idiots are doing to people.
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Tru dat. Bitch betta stay in public, she wants to live. Those people do not play.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:00pm.
Ok, what in hippie loving hell is ORGANIC milk... straight from the cows tit or what? I thought milk was milk.
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If you get on your hands and knees and suck it right from the teat it turns you transgender FACT!
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:02pm.
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:57pm.
Submitted by Honey_Badger on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:58pm.
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Organic milk, whole cheese and eggs make you a hermaphrodite...FACT!!!
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So that's why Chyna has a dick clit? Thanks for clearing that up Whammers!
Thanks to the great "schools" in scientology, most of them are illiterate morons if you hear them speak or read anything they write.
They rehash a bunch of platitudes and rhetoric from other religions, cults, etc to real people in, but then back it up with absolute idiocy. Typical brainwashing.
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:03pm.
Ofuckingkay... so how can the $cienos talk shit about Nicole supposedly being a sociopath when they say mental illness isn't real? I guess a socio doesn't qualify as mental anymore?! WTF ever. That cult needed to be disbanded like yesterday. P.S. I love Katie's ballsiness!
Submitted by tasty dish on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 4:02pm.
Heeeeeey, thank you for acknowledging me... and I guess that makes sense. I wonder how the steaks off those cows taste??? mmmmmmm probably no fat.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I think this story is more than your typical celebrity gossip because of the cult aspect. Another reason to hate Tom Cruise? The cult exploits people, breaks up families, uses child labor, etc......and all the while, a midget, closet case egomaniac gets to pretend he's the "chosen one" from fucking outer space benefiting from the misery of these victims. Katie will be fine, what about the average sucker that gets sucked into their cult, robbed blind, cut off from their family, forced to build some ridiculous castle so Tommygirl can sashay in and pretend to be space princess? The "public" scientologists and celebrities that support this shit really have to be held accountable for supporting this sick cult.
Ofuckingkay... so how can the $cienos talk shit about Nicole supposedly being a sociopath when they say mental illness isn't real? I guess a socio doesn't qualify as mental anymore?! WTF ever. That cult needed to be disbanded like yesterday. P.S. I love Katie's ballsiness!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
The sad part about this whole dog and pony show is for one Katie Holmes there are probably hundreds of no names that aren't lucky enough to have the protection of the public eye. Like that dudes wife going missing... no telling the shit these goat fucking idiots are doing to people.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
jack, i think it means that some lucky cows get to feed on premium grass, or some shit like that.
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:57pm.
Submitted by Honey_Badger on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:58pm.
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Organic milk, whole cheese and eggs make you a hermaphrodite...FACT!!!
Tommygirl is bats but at least he is keeping a very low profile and is not going out of his way to be photographed getting ice cream at midnight and buying fucking milk.
thank you MK for allowing us to waste our time on other non-important shit
i would much rather read the summary of it all here, then bump into it somehow somewhere else
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
I'm already bored of the TomKat divorce.
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Douchechill!
thank you for the KatieGate timeline. i wish she had bought fried clams with that milk.
The more Scientology pushes to make Holmes look bad the worse it is going to be for them in regards to public opinion. Too many people know their games and too many people are willing to speak against their "church".
Ok, what in hippie loving hell is ORGANIC milk... straight from the cows tit or what? I thought milk was milk.
*drinks organic beer*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Organic milk is where the cows get fed grass no gmo corn or newspapers its scary the stuff they feed us.
Organic could be scary too since no one can guarantee 100% no gmo (geneticatlly modify) also they don't feed the cows all those antibiotics, and growth medicine
hmm, i always thought cottage cheese was pretty gay. or creme fraiche?
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:57pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:53pm.
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:46pm.
Katie is so provocative buying gay dairy products!
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It's a well known FACT milk makes you GAY!!
And I was CERTAIN it was yogurt!
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I think you are right, Anno My Dad says real men don't eat yogurt. (He'd make fast friends with Grandma Pitt, BTW.)
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
If those crazy Scientologists think for one minute that all of the hype surrounding this divorce is going to stop, they are mistaken. They can bombard all the major media websites they want and throw out their demands, but this shitshow isn't gonna stop.
And it isn't going to stop because I really believe that people are legitimately concerned about her and her daughter's safety and wellbeing. And it wouldn't be that way if Scientology wasn't such a crazy cult.
They made this bed. Now they can lie in it. And as far as I'm concerned, the more that gets exposed, the better. Maybe someone will figure out where the poor wife of that crazy Miscavige is disposed while they're at it. That woman's fate could have truly been a possibility in Katie's future as well. Good for Katie for having the balls to get out now.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Do you think with all the bad publicity the Xenu's will have no choice and break out the Kool Aid laced with cyanide? or put on their black Adidas and wait for the mother ship to pick them up?
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
At least she can afford to buy organic milk. That stuff is expensive.
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:53pm.
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:46pm.
Katie is so provocative buying gay dairy products!
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It's a well known FACT milk makes you GAY!!
And I was CERTAIN it was yogurt!
at least we now know that TommyGirl wasn't responsible for her poor fashion sense
project runway my you know what
suede boots? someone needs to tell Katie that it's like 150 degrees in NYC today. maybe her body temperature is still short-circuited?
While this divorce may be juicy, it will also be exhausting as hell.
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:46pm.
Katie is so provocative buying gay dairy products!
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It's a well known FACT milk makes you GAY!!
Uhg, whole foods shit... no thanks. And I'm telling you what, this is some mobster kinda shit... somebody is gonna end up dead and/or missing. SOMEBODY MUST PAY FOR THIS EXPOSURE!!!!
All seriousness aside, this is gonna get good. Now I wish Katie would get her phone hacked and nude photos get leaked of her and Kelly Preston in a free for all lez fest...
*SHAKES FIST AT SKY*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh
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"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Team RUN, KATIE, RUN!! Keep chipping away at Co$, free them all!! No more innocent people have to die or disappear!! TELL IT ALL!!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
LOL @ tomkatastrophe.
I don't understand why people are expecting statements from Nicole Kidman or Morgan Freeman. This is going to get messy as hell and no one is voluntarily going to jump into it.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Katie is so provocative buying gay dairy products!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Whatever exposes that cult is allright by me
Buy milk girl
So have the $ciento freaks gotten to Dlisted yet? MK are they bugging you to delete our comments? MK?...MK?...
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 3:40pm.
TMZ asked Morgan for a comment, but he was too busy not giving a fuck about all of this.
More like too busy fucking his granddaughter to care.
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*chokes on coffee*
What? Wait, what?
When WAS this? Wouldn't that be illegal?
MK, this Xenu post is like gossip fireworks!!!! My divorce was NASTY, and I think it had the tactics/techniques of SCIENO behind it -- but celebrity private detective Anthony Pellicano is still in prison, isn't he? Apparently, it is all the same kinds of "tactics" used in mind control....and so yes, I think maybe all the parties in this divorce have been "controlled" -- except us readers. Keep the headlines fresh. it's all possible. They love movie scripts and following them in their *ahem* religious missions. It's absurdly entertaining ... as an observer.
Loves me a cult divorce!!! (not my own....)
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Whoa!!!!!!
TMZ asked Morgan for a comment, but he was too busy not giving a fuck about all of this.
More like too busy fucking his granddaughter to care.