Matthew McConaughey And Camila Alves Are Fertile

July 5, 2012 / Posted by:

Matthew McConaughey took a break yesterday from celebrating his Fourth of July by busting the national anthem on his bongos drums while only wearing American flag nipple tassels and he jumped on Twitter to tell his followers that ANOTHER fetus has moved into Camila Alves’ uterus. So instead of just 2 kids screaming “DAAAAAAAAD!” in a few years after seeing the Texas T-Rex clench his greasy nalgas in Magic Mike, there will be 3! Here’s Matthew’s latest BABY!!! announcement and it helps if you read it while picturing him saying it in a leather vest and a matching leather thong.

happy birthday America, more good news, Camila and I are expecting our 3rd child, God bless, just keep livin

You’d think that the Texas T-Rex’s sperm fishes are as stoned as him, so they’d take their time in making their way to Camila’s ovaries and play beats on her eggs like a bongo instead of doing what they’re supposed to do…. But nope, his sperm fishes get shit done!

Matthew and Camila’s 2-year-old is named Vida and their 3-year-old is named Levi, so obviously they’re going to stick with the 4 letter name. I’m guessing they’ll go with Bong McConaughey.

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