Matthew McConaughey And Camila Alves Are Fertile
Matthew McConaughey took a break yesterday from celebrating his Fourth of July by busting the national anthem on his bongos drums while only wearing American flag nipple tassels and he jumped on Twitter to tell his followers that ANOTHER fetus has moved into Camila Alves' uterus. So instead of just 2 kids screaming "DAAAAAAAAD!" in a few years after seeing the Texas T-Rex clench his greasy nalgas in Magic Mike, there will be 3! Here's Matthew's latest BABY!!! announcement and it helps if you read it while picturing him saying it in a leather vest and a matching leather thong.
happy birthday America, more good news, Camila and I are expecting our 3rd child, God bless, just keep livin
You'd think that the Texas T-Rex's sperm fishes are as stoned as him, so they'd take their time in making their way to Camila's ovaries and play beats on her eggs like a bongo instead of doing what they're supposed to do.... But nope, his sperm fishes get shit done!
Matthew and Camila's 2-year-old is named Vida and their 3-year-old is named Levi, so obviously they're going to stick with the 4 letter name. I'm guessing they'll go with Bong McConaughey.
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I find him very sexy. And I think we're supposed to find her beautiful, but I just don't. Being Brazilian does not automatically make you hot. She's tall, tan, and seems to have a great figure, but boy is she fug in the face.
I saw Magic Mike over the holiday. It was a hot mess, but it was a good time.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
She looks like a guy in a dress. Never heard of her until I saw an advertisement for that hair stylist competition.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 7:23pm.
with her slacked posture, fallen dress strap, her oily skin, turned down eyes, and long face, this girl looks like she's melting.
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Hahahaha...But remember, "Hair is important!"
Submitted by doncorleone on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 11:48am.
Thanks everyone, I thought I was the only one who finds him skeevy, gross, douchey and fucking stupid. Never understood his success, he is a terrible actor, kind of like a male Kate Hudson, so of course I am overjoyed at this news (groan) Fuck
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They've actually done a couple of movies together! I thought T-rex was pretty good with JBlow over a decade ago. Now he just looks like he needs a shower.
I thought weed made men's swimmers slow. I guess T-rex got lucky in that department.
with her slacked posture, fallen dress strap, her oily skin, turned down eyes, and long face, this girl looks like she's melting.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
God, they really are an ugly-lookin couple. She looks like a drag queen and he always looks....tired.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Oh, Honey. You´re simple, you´re shallow and you´re a common whor
Is he serious with that KFC look? Really? At least they're bringing another human being into a ridiculously over-populated, dying planet with fast-dwindling resources. Good job, Matty.
Fucker needs to retire the whole "just keep living" quote he has been quoting and ending all his interviews with since dazed and confused it was stupid then and its even more stupider now that hes an old man with 3 kids
Matthew McConaughey is SO fucking fine. But Magic Mike was bad ... just bad. Except for Channing and Matthew stripping.
Does anyone have a video of Matthew stripping in the movie??????
They are a tacky couple... both are attractive, but just... tacky.
About 7 years ago I was at a bar in Austin and saw Matthew and Lance hanging out. I've always thought he was hot. That was until I saw him in person. He looked greasy, oily, dirty, smelly and looked like he reeked of taint. Damn I was so disappointed.
christ -can you imagine being married to him-Id need a fucking intravenous bong...good job she doesn't appear to speak great english so she can just toon out...
The kiddies are adorable though.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
His T.Rexticles are on FIYAH!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
I think they're both fug. I hope their children escape it.
I know many Brazilians, and they are a zillion times hotter than her. The women are known to be bossy though(lol), so I'm assuming she wears the pants in this family. Actually, Matthew doesn't wear clothes at all most of the time, so that was a given.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
#keepfuckinhatchicken!!!
Good for them, they make cute kids. He's so loaded in that picture, he can barely keep his eyes open.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
I can't believe he's only 42, he looks 50. By Hollywood standards he looks 60!
Saw him in Magic Mike and didn't find him attractive at all. Also, given the fact that he's anti-deodorant, and he was sweating like a hog throughout the movie, his stench must've been vomit-inducing.
LOLOL @ humans_off_earth
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by illuminaupolis on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 1:22pm.
Srsly, I will NEVER get over that horseshit. Ruined both the movie and McConaughey for me forever.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Congratulate me! My genitalia created ANOTHER NEW BABY! OMG it's so awesome and miraculous! Who could imagine something so AMAZING! We're over the moon!
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
I adore him... But then again, I have known him for awhile!
Congrat's!!!
Even at his "hottest" he looked trailer park-y to me. His wife looks like she could grow an awesome mustache.
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Douchechill!
A sucker truly is born every minute. I remember seeing him in Contact and I thought he must be the comedy relief of the movie. This guy is genuine idiot.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
Jeebus is he ever UGLY in this picture. What is all the fuss about? He's about as attractive as a mud fence.
Isn't Vida Gisele's puppy name?!
Anyway, as a brazilian I don't think Vida is an ugly name. But I wouldn't name my child that.
Anglicized names are a huge trend here.
The lower class here love it.
And I find them pretty ugly. People don't know how to write it and how to pronounce it.
So it ends up being just plain tacky.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Where do they find the time? Well, Brazilians take their sex lives pretty seriously. You make the time! My fiance has a two year old and we always find the time when she's in his custody :) Granted, these two may have a nanny or two, but a Brazilian nanny isn't the same as one in the States, the parents are actually very involved (in my experience).
As for her daughter's name, I don't get how a Brazilian could do that. All the youngins these days call their sweethearts "vida", as in "you are my life". *VOM* It is repulsive and I cringe every time any of my cousins refer to their SOs as "Vida". I just can't with that name.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 12:25pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 12:02pm.
@ Lucifer_Sam Sweet dreams!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5qh31VGm91r85x4so6_1280.jpg
Warning: NSFW or kids!
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Come on now ladies was the really necessary...lol!!
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Ahahahahahahaha :P
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
He is not hot at all to me. Never liked him. And she is a model? Really?
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 12:02pm.
@ Lucifer_Sam Sweet dreams!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5qh31VGm91r85x4so6_1280.jpg
Warning: NSFW or kids!
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Come on now ladies was the really necessary...lol!!
Submitted by dementa: "Anyway, they're in for a nasty surprise. I've heard that the third kid is when you realize that you're outnumbered."
Truth.
Although I find that the hardest part is the chores/housework/cooking when I'd rather be spending time actually playing with them.
IV- I was thinking the same thing, but didn't want to offend anyone. I'm assuming she's Catholic, but I don't know why it was ok to have 2 kids out of wedlock, but on the 3rd one, they were like, oh, let's make this official? I don't know the timeline of their enagement to the wedding, but I guess she got knocked up while they were planning the wedding and thought oh, well! What's another one? I just don't see MM as the family planning type. AndN if I had money, I probably wouldn't care, either.
Thanks Lucifer_Sam! I just found my new screen saver!
I have a thing for cowboys, but THIS just is not working.
He started out pretty good, but then went the way of the rom-coms.
And in Magic Mike I think he was supposed to be an old, has-been, creep..as if he had a choice anyway. Some of the scenes with him made me LOL because he was so weird looking.
Anyway congrats to them! I think little Levi is adorable!
Congrats, whatever. Can't hate. I don't see her whoring those kids out to the paps.
I see she made him marry her in a Big Fancy Catholic Ceremony before she let out the news that she was knocked up again. Hypocrite.
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He needs to stop with the Botox. She just needs to sit her ass down.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 12:02pm.
@ Lucifer_Sam Sweet dreams!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5qh31VGm91r85x4so6_1280.jpg
Warning: NSFW or kids!
Haaaaaaaahahaha I was not expecting that! lmao!
Submitted by miz cynical on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 11:45am.
Lucy: there's a sexxy times image for you! Sexing it up with 'ol B.O. TRex! It would smell like sex, stale weed, B.O. and of course, regret. You're welcome :). Vom.
LOL why oh why do you hate me so :o(
Please. These people probably have two nannies per child. They're obviously not too tired to constantly fuck.
@ Lucifer_Sam
Sweet dreams!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5qh31VGm91r85x4so6_1280.jpg
Warning: NSFW or kids!
I had a Magic Mike dream but it starred Channing Tat-YUM!
I used to think he was good-looking.. But now he looks like a panhandler that took a shower at a truck stop. Her looks aren't impressive either.. I've seen better looking girls around that don't call themselves models.
I miss his original face. :(
Good for them, I guess. Neither of them really bother me all that much.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
He's starting to look like old Bob Dylan. NOT A GOOD LOOK, HIPPIE.
I heard she was bored and wanted to move back to Howood?
although if that's true, she should seriously have a seat, since her "career" wasn't all that, and what's wrong with being home with your three babies when you can afford nannies and whatnot when you need a break?
doncorleone!! Kate Hudson *grrrrr* I'm so with you on your entire comment!
Thanks everyone, I thought I was the only one who finds him skeevy, gross, douchey and fucking stupid. Never understood his success, he is a terrible actor, kind of like a male Kate Hudson, so of course I am overjoyed at this news (groan) Fuck