Oh hell, we’re all fucked, because it turns out Kris Humphries’ IQ doesn’t match his sperm count and he probably put a baby in the trick he started wet humping on right after Pimp Mama Kris sped up the ending to his scripted marriage to her prized pig Kim Kardashian. Myla Sinanaj, the one on the right who looks like a Bad Girls Club reject who got caught in the middle of a Wet N Wild factory explosion, claims that she’s got a 3-month-old fetus up in her womb and she already loves that unborn baby so much that she sold the news to TMZ before telling Kris Humphries. I would declare this as a victory for gold diggers, but it’s unethical to take advantage of a dim oaf of a douche who probably believed Myla when she told him that the only way he can make a baby is if he cums in a stork.
If this is true, then it could completely screw up Kris’ divorce settlement, because he’s trying to say that he was so sad on the inside after he found out Kim only used his innocent heart for a stunt and he was too busy crying every time he peed (you know, because it reminded him of Kim) to move on quickly to another trick. Kris has been trying to shut Myla up, because she’s out there spilling all kinds of shit about their relationship including talking about the time he told her that Pimp Mama Kris directed Kim’s fuck tape with Ray-J.
A source tells TMZ that Myla is so hurt about how Kris has treated her that she plans to have the baby and raise it on her own. That’s what she thinks….
Myla probably thinks that she’ll have the baby, hit Kris up for some child support and will live the gold digger dream by not having to work for the next 18 years. That’s not going to happen. Kris doesn’t even remember which letter comes after “c” in the alphabet, so I doubt he remembers that when he sold his soul to the Kuntrashians he also promised to give him his first born. So ten seconds after Myla delivers her baby via c-section (duh), Pimp Mama Kris will show herself in a cloud of bronzer dust and collect that kid before slithering out the window. Then PMK will dip that baby in glue, roll it in Sasquatch fur and give it to Khloe Kardashian who will claim it as her own and pose with it on the cover of Life & Style. The Kuntrashians will turn Myla’s money baby into their money baby. It’s like that.