James Deen Wants You To Know That He's Not Sexing On Lindsay Lohan
Here's porn star James Deen and future porn star Lindsay Lohan leaving a Fourth of July party in Santa Monica last night, and no, he didn't drive her to Chateau Marmont where he bravely entered her crotch cavern of destruction with a crucifix in one hand and a vat of liquefied Valtrex in the other. That's what James Deen claims anyway. During an interview with Animal NY, James said that he's keeping shit strictly professional with HoHan and he's simply just getting to know her before they shoot that low-budget, soft-core Bret Easton Ellis mess The Canyons. The Health Department doesn't have to stick a Notice of Closure on James' crotch for violating health code 5473 (aka doing Lindsay Lohan), because even though he's dicked hundreds of tricks, LiLo isn't one of them.
“I can definitely honestly say Lindsay Lohan and I are not having sex!”
Wouldn’t he tell me? “I think I would tell everybody.”
“I don’t know anything about her except for that she’s a really nice, down-to-earth, normal twenty-five-year-old girl. We went to a business dinner and she was very professional. She drank coffee and water. Then she had to call for a car because she couldn’t walk ten feet from the door because of the paparazzi.” Deen seems a little riled up, protective.
Translation: "EVEN I HAVE STANDARDS!"
You know, I totally believe James. James has an illustrious career in fuck films and why would he mess that up by dipping into LiLo's Mordor cooch for a second or two? Does James really want the CDC to wrap a quarantine tent around him and keep him away from society until his tainted peen finally falls off? And if that didn't happen, James' 9-inch peen, which weighs more than him, would swear off all genitals and drag it him to the nearest monastery where it'd keep him up at night by muttering about freckled blue waffles.
And on a positive note, I give LiLo extra points for her A+ Mommie Dearest eyebrow game.
• 
This needs a "Your Face Scares Me" tag.
"We went to a business dinner and she was very professional. She drank coffee and water"
...Because I'm guessing that sounds better than "I fucked her in the ass with my foot long dick"
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:26pm.
lolllllllollollllll she's too big to fit in the picture... looks like I'm riding a wave of bisquik!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by FunFilled on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:26pm.
He's sorta maybe giving me MCA fever
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oh shit he does look like him... HEY LADIES!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
LMAO at y'all's comments.
She looks 40, easily.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:25pm.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4mb9dK10w1qdewrno1_400.gif
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WHERE IS THE CHIX I DON'T WANT TO SEE DUDES THAT'S SICKENING
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by FunFilled on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:22pm.
It's obvious she hasn't had a bath since the wrap of Liz n Dick. Retire the Cleo eyeliner already.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
FF, totally agree. It's the same with la Liz shaped eyebrows. However, she looks like she applied a spray tan, so maybe in her book that counts as bathing. Haha
He's sorta maybe giving me MCA fever. And that just makes me sad.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:20pm.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4mb9dK10w1qdewrno1_400.gif
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by FunFilled on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:22pm.
It's obvious she hasn't had a bath since the wrap of Liz n Dick. =============================================
I think you meant, it's obvious she hasn't had a bath since he wrapped his dick.
“I don’t know anything about her except for…"
Because you've been cryogenically frozen and stored in a bunker for the last decade?
LOL @ thumb 7! Those freckles look like liver spots.
Wait, is he the guy with a footlong?
Submitted by Bigbendy on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:20pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:15pm.
_4041...
Whamo, haha. My kids get freaked out by the turkey gobbler necks on blue hairs.
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LOL!!! I still get freaked out by the super old lady mustache and the 12 course hairs that stick out indiscriminately from the face
*shudders*
You know you're in trouble when next to you, a porn star looks fresh as a daisy.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
who is this James Peen?
Wow, "legit" *snigger* actress having business dinner with porn star. Yeah, she's really on the way back up to the top.
It's obvious she hasn't had a bath since the wrap of Liz n Dick. Retire the Cleo eyeliner already.
Mommie Dearest eyebrows is SO right. She looks 40 if a day. You know, just because I love camp she may become my favorite actress. I have never in my life seen her in anything before.
Oh, and she's wearing her flipper again. Good girl.
Good Lord! That thumbnail # 7 should come with a warning sign! For the love of all that is holy-do not click on it!
Ain't nobody sane having sex with that!
I'm sure he was just running lines with her.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:10pm.
That's it, rule numero uno of the bro code... deny, Deny, DENY!! Back in the day someone walked in on me banging the town whore at a party (with my boots on lol) and snapped a damn picture of it... even with photographic evidence I still deny that shit to this day.
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plz post link to pix here plz thx
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Thumbnail #7:
NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:15pm.
Here is a close up of Lindsay's chin...
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/276450_172465752829013_4041...
Whamo, haha. My kids get freaked out by the turkey gobbler necks on blue hairs.
That is exactly what Liz would of looked like if she had ever been a washed up 25 year old meth faced tri-sexual project ho.
*unwraps cigar*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
“I don’t know anything about her except for that she’s a really nice, down-to-earth, normal twenty-five-year-old girl."
Twenty-five in dog years, maybe.
Does anyone have a link to some dick picks of this dude? Just curious.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman" - Bill Clinton.
Of course she drank coffee and water. She needed both to chase the booze.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
What is with the drawn in eyebrownz?
Thumb #1 - sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not sober.
You know you've reached a low point when people have to make sure we know that you were only drinking water. That bitch probably bottles sewer water in the hopes that some college kid got busted and had to dump all their beer down the toilet.
She drank coffee and water
Hahaha. They have this guy trained well.
Here is a close up of Lindsay's chin...
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/276450_172465752829013_4041...
Holy shit.
I think if you exhumed Liz Taylor's bawdy, it would look like Lindsay.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Top of the line stenciling job, Linds.
She does look like Liz...at 60!
And the paps should leave her alone...so she can fade into obscurity
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Blerg
Yikes! She is looking rough. Er, rougher than usual.
He looks like my plumber and my plumber works hard for his dough. But I don't want to see him having sex.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
That's it, rule numero uno of the bro code... deny, Deny, DENY!! Back in the day someone walked in on me banging the town whore at a party (with my boots on lol) and snapped a damn picture of it... even with photographic evidence I still deny that shit to this day. #fuckinthechicken
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I am loving the Bozo the Clown look in #7!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Lord, have mercy! Thumbnail 7! What the hell is going on here?! Please tell me this is not real. It's too tragic and hilarious to be real.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:06pm.
Dog...lmao! Your so grossed out, it went outside the lines!! Hahahaha
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
FFS, looking at BloHan makes my scalp itch!!!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Strangely, in thumbnail #7 Linds looks a lot like middle aged Liz Taylor. Must be the double chin.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
I know he's s porn star and all but I'd bet it's actually a toss-up as to which one of these skanks has slept with more people.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:01pm.
Is Hohan channeling Joan Crawford circa Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? Good grief, this bitch looks like shit.
* I was thinking the movie Straight Jacket poor Joan.
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I have one thing to say...You Bettah Work.
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:01pm.
Is Hohan channeling Joan Crawford
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Joan Crawford..perfect, that was the first thing that came to my mind as well .lol! no shit!
I think it's the lipstick and her mouth.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:00pm.
YES!!!!!!!!!! Madame from Mr. Rogers!!!!!!!!!
You are so fucking right! I was trying to think of who she was channeling - you just fucking nailed it!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Dog...lmao! Your so grossed out, it went outside the lines!! Hahahaha
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS